Violent Desires
by Bella-ShinningWolf
Summary: !Formely "While I thought I loved Him"! Bellatrix is deeply in love with the Dark Lord. Rod and Lucius make her life a hell, and then a filthy Granger mudblood comes around. Bella hates her, Granger hates her too. But their strange connection will not lead them where they thought it would.
1. Teach me a lesson

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

Hello! My first story about HP, I decided to focus on Bellatrix, and there will be different things coming up. Starting right away with Bellatrix at the beginning of the First Wizarding War.

I don't really know what I'm going to write here, but I'm quite sure rating M (or T at least) will be needed, plus we all love violence and sadistic Bella -I know you do, don't lie to me.

For now I leave you with a 18 years old Bellatrix, and I'll see you in the next chapter!

* * *

CHAPTER 1: Teach me a lesson

 **1969**

He crossed her gaze and she suddenly bowed her head, staring at the dark marble floor. She had never felt so naked, so vulnerable and weak. He slowly circled her, never uttering a single word. She stood in the middle of the almost empty room, her hands slightly shaking, her back straight, shifting her weight on her feet every ten seconds. He was powerful, He was strong, intimidating, and yet strangely comforting with the way He contemplated her, His eyes shining with satisfaction. He looked at her as if she was of great interest and she felt His irises cutting through her flesh like thousands of knives.

The 18 years old Black lifted her gaze when He cleared his throat and fell face to face with iridescent red eyes. A shiver ran through her spine.

'Well, I must say I appreciate your demand to join my army Bellatrix.'

Her cheeks flushed right away and she dropped her eyes once again; the immense honor of maintaining her gaze on His was not hers yet.

'However,' He hissed 'I must make sure that you are not to betray me.'

Bellatrix felt her heart miss a beat and immediately fell to her knees, bowing before Him. Her long curly black hair spread around her slender form, her nose touched the floor and her hands hit the cold stone in a loud noise echoing in the silence.

'My Lord, I am Yours and my life be given for you!'

Her breath was fast and irregular, she didn't want to disappoint Him in any way. She heard Him move and felt His hand on her scalp, his fingers lightly touching her skin. She twitched.

'I believe you, but you may prove your loyalty to me.' He whispered. 'Give me your wand.'

His command made her eyes burst open. _My wand? But—_

She appeared to be too slow to react, when His fingers grabbed her hair and pulled her sitting straight, where she lost herself in His gorgeous eyes.

'Give. Me. Your. Wand.'

This time, the young witch did not hesitate and handed him a long, slightly curved wand. He held it before Him for some time before throwing it at the opposite side of the room. Bellatrix's eyes followed the path of the wooden stick until it hit the floor and suddenly felt like a part of her was gone temporarily. The grip on her hair tightened and He brutally pulled her standing straight.

'Well, at least you can obey orders.'

For the first time in her entire life, Bellatrix was scared. She would never admit it, but when He violently threw her at his feet with a grin, she was afraid of Him, of what He could do to a wandless little witch. She landed on all fours before her face could crash on the floor and turned around. _Never turn your back to Him, never, never. Face Him and you shall be trusted_.

He muttered a word, barely audible and yet so effective.

'Crucio'

Bellatrix fell on her back, instantaneously overwhelmed by a wave of excruciating pain. She had never felt so much pain at once before and she almost doubted she could endured this much. It felt like her bones were being broken one by one and she knew she could hear them cracking, as much as she felt her skin burn and her head on the verge of exploding.

Her scream echoed against the stone walls, a shrieking call for the help she would never receive.

It stopped. As sudden as it had started. Her head was burning, her heart pumping at an erratic rate, her nails broken and bloody after scratching the floor in vain in search for something to hold on to.

'I believe you had never been through the Cruciatus Curse, am I right?' He asked calmly.

Trying her best to catch her breath, Bellatrix managed to whisper a 'yes' between her dry lips. The pain overwhelmed her once again, sending her whole fragile and convulsing body in a raging fire.

'Yes My Lord!' He shouted when he released the curse. 'Say it!'

Bellatrix rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling. 'Yes My Lord!' she cried at the top of her lungs, still in a broken voice.

 _I am His, I am to serve Him, He is my Dark Lord, my Master, and I am His servant, His faithful minion who would defend Him until Death shall overcome me. And I am strong, I would not defy Him but I shall show Him my power; I have to show what I can do to my Mighty Dark Lord._

Ignoring her aching muscles, Bellatrix stood up, continuously bowing her entire being to His supremacy.

'I shall serve You faithfully My Lord, I live only to please You.'

Through her mane, she saw the pleased smile on His face and blushed.

'That is what I wanted to hear from you Bellatrix,' He responded, 'Please myself, then.'

He waved his hand above his head in a gracious gesture and the door behind him slowly opened. Two Deatheaters entered the room as Bellatrix collected her wand on the floor. They were carrying a limp body, which they dropped before the Dark Lord. It was a woman, probably in her mid-forties, her face and clothes covered with her blood and she seemed barely conscious.

'Emily Dawers.' the Dark Lord pointed at the woman, 'The Mudblood, we suspect, informed the Order about our plans.'

The woman on the floor didn't move but Bellatrix could see her shiver _. Mudbloods, all traitors._

'Take care of her.' He commanded.

Bellatrix rushed over the woman and kicked her in the face to have her lying on her back. Emily whimpered and opened her eyes in pure surprise, crossing Bellatrix's brown irises.

' _Hello, Muddy_.' She said in a sing-song childish tone, before suddenly kneeling over her and clutching her throat. Emily caught Bellatrix's wrist, a horrified expression on her face, gasping for air.

'What did you tell the Order?' the young witch asked brutally. 'What did you tell them?'

'I-I didn't sa-say-'

'LIAR!' she shouted, her curls caressing her prey's face.

Bellatrix stood up again and pointed her wand the lying woman.

'I know you lie, you cannot trick me, so tell the truth Mudblood!'

A tear ran down Emily's cheek who couldn't contain her sobs. Raging against the woman, Bellatrix glanced at Him for approbation before following His path.

'Crucio' she whispered.

Emily screamed and her body twisted on the marble floor, her spine and limbs cracking every now and then.

'Crucio!'

 _I can't stop, I am too powerful, this feeling of power and superiority I felt like never before_. Of course, she had use the Cruciatus Curse many times before but on animals, never on a human being. And now she enjoyed it, every pore of her body was in ecstasy at the view of the tortured Mudblood at her feet.

'Tell me you filthy traitor! Crucio! Crucio! CRUCIO!'

Her smile never stop growing wider and wider as Emily was crying and begging her to stop; but she was not going to stop, never, not until she heard what she wanted to hear.

'Please stop I don't know anything!'

But her broken voice kept fading and soon, only silent cries passed through her lips. Bellatrix released the Curse and panted heavily. It was so exhausting, she was not used to this!

'Kill her.'

Bellatrix raised her head and nodded. She had to make that one count, though. She took her silver knife out of her belt and kneeled once again beside the Mudblood. _Your blood is so filthy it deserves to be drawn, and He shall be proud, I shall please Him._

'Please…' Emily cried.

Bellatrix raised the knife over her victim and stabbed her right in the heart. She never looked away from her eyes while she could see the life slowly escaping them. Blood splashed on her forearms and face as she stabbed the woman once, twice, until she had no more untouched flesh to damage. She withdrew her knife and contemplated the bloodstains, eventually licking the blade.

'Very good, Bellatrix.' the Dark Lord greeted with a smile.

The latter bowed her head, honored.

'Your faith is true and I see great magic qualities. However,' Bellatrix stiffened, 'I must know how long you can resist me.'

Before Bellatrix could try to understand, she fell on her knees and clutched her head at the invasion. _Legilimency_. She tried to fight, but her occlumency skills were pretty weak despite all the efforts she has made to learn it by herself. She didn't stand more than a minute before He could fully read her mind, running through every single childhood memory. When He let go of her, Bellatrix was more exhausted than ever. _I have failed, I am not worthy enough for His army, I am useless-_

'You indeed have a great potential in the mastery of occlumency.'

Bellatrix stared at the Dark Lord, not believing what He had just said.

'I shall teach you.'

 _I am worthy._

'Come.' He ordered gently.

The young witch stood up with eyes filled with hope. He required her left wrist and, when she did, he placed the tip of his wand onto the pale skin.

'Do you swear to fight for me at any cost?'

'I do.'

'To never betray me?'

The skin under His wand started to tickle and when Bellatrix glanced at it, she saw a mark drawing itself on her forearm.

'I do.'

The mark was growing wider and clearer; _a skull and a snake_.

'To serve me in order to take power?'

The Dark Mark fully drawn, it started to wave, and in this instant, she could feel a new bound with her Dark Lord, other than the loving look she was giving Him.

'I do.'

And serve Him she did.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	2. He's Gone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 2: He's gone

31 October, 1981

And serve Him she did.

 _He taught me everything. Every single spell He knew, every Dark Arts magic. I was already good, but I became excellent, above any other Death Eater. I became His most faithful and loyal servant, His Right Hand, His secret keeper. He made sure of that by teaching me occlumency and legilimency; I am unbreakable._

 _I love Him. Every time His eyes cross mine, my heart misses a beat and I blush. He doesn't know, or He just ignores the truth. I cannot tell Him, then I do everything I can to deserve His trust and admiration. And now-_

'HE'S GONE!'

The thirty windows in the living room exploded simultaneously in thousands of sharp blades that cut through her skin as she fell onto her knees, her head buried in her hands, hidden behind her tangled, black curls. She couldn't take it. _Not Him, not now!_

'Bella…?'

Rodolphus softly placed a hand on her bleeding shoulder in a gesture of comfort; he could feel her raging sobs as well as the heat of the anger spreading in her whole body.

'I am angry too, but you cannot let yourself fall into such-'

'Leave me alone.' She ordered, her voice cold and empty of any emotion.

Rodolphus sighed and withdrew his hand. _He cannot understand, he doesn't know how I feel._ He turned his back to her and started walking out of the room, but she heard him stop on the threshold.

'I know you were extremely important to him, but-' He started, but he was stopped when Bellatrix stood up angrily and crossed the room in a few steps. She stood right before his stunned face. She was at least a head smaller than him but now _she_ was the one in control; the one to fear.

'You don't know anything!' she yelled, sending bits of saliva trailing on his cheeks. 'You have no idea how important I was to Him! How He was important to me! YOU WILL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND!'

She slapped him so hard he staggered, hopefully reaching out for the door to stay on his feet. She stuck her nails in his shoulder and pressed him against the wall. She felt the urge to use the Crutiatus Curse on him, to make him beg her to stop, so she could get rid of his worried expression. _Not, him, not my husband, I just can't_. Her eyes brightened as she released his coat and turned to the room.

Freezing air was engulfing through the wide, broken windows, the curtains flew loosely in the room and some snowflakes dared to lay on the green carpet. Something is missing. Bellatrix frowned. _Lola, the house elf, she was supposed to bring me something, food I think._

She felt Rodolphus' short breathing at the back of her neck when she called 'LOLA! KILLY!', and two little house elves popped before her, immediately bowing to the mad witch.

'Lola,' Bellatrix spat, 'Where's my food?'

The little elf was shaking and avoiding her mistress' piercing stare, which was annoying her even more.

'Answer me!'

'Lola forgot, mistress.' The elf whispered, overwhelmed with fear. 'Lola is very sorry, mistress, Lola will bring food immediately.'

'No, stay here.' Bellatrix ordered.

Lola started shaking even more, if this was actually possible. Bellatrix turned to Killy with a slightly-less-angry tone.

'Killy, bring me my coat.'

The latter disapparated instantaneously with a crack, leaving Lola alone to face her angry mistress. Bellatrix paced around the frightened creature with a sadistic smile and the burning need to make it suffer for the death of her loved one.

'He's _gone_ , He's _dead_ and I wasn't even _there_ for Him, He relied on _me_ , I was His most loyal servant, I _never_ failed Him, never ever have I been missing when He needed _me_ , and now I miss Him and now HE'S _GONE_!'

Bellatrix's voice had grown from a barely audible whisper to a shrieking desperate cry that made both Lola and Rodolphus jumped.

'CRUCIO!'

The little creature fell and rolled on the floor, crying in pain. Bellatrix's heartbeat was fast, so fast her heart was threatening to run out of her chest at any second. She _loved_ it; she loved hurting people, inflicting pain! She needed it so badly. The voice of her husband got her out of her trance.

'Bella, wait, it's-'

'Shut up!' she cut him with a wave of her unarmed hand. 'Get Rabastan and Barty, we have to go somewhere.'

Before the commanding tone, Rodolphus lowered his head and obeyed, unable to stop his wife's madness.

'CRUCIO! CRUCIO!'

Lola was only twitching now and couldn't even utter a sound. _Good, she is learning_. Bellatrix released her spell and panted heavily. A new force was controlling her, a new hope; the hope that she might find Him back; that he was not _dead_ but simply _gone_.

She gazed at the pathetic form on her golden green carpet now stained with small drops of blood.

'Such a pity. You were useful.' She muttered. She raised her wand and pointed it to the barely conscious house elf.

Before she could cast another spell, Killy apparated a few meters away with her coat.

'Come here.'

The elf obeyed, eyeing worriedly at the form on the carpet. Bellatrix seized her coat and quickly put it on, readjusted her corset and turned to the doorframe. There stood Rodolphus, Rabastan and Barty, all three silently and solemnly waiting for _the crazy witch to finish her childish, sadistic little game_. She gave them her most deranged smile and pointed her wand to Lola again.

'Avada Kedavra.'

As the green ray of light hit the house elf, Killy cried in surprise before hiding behind a sofa, too afraid even to respect the rules. Fortunately for her, Bellatrix didn't really noticed and simply put her wand in her pocket, pacing sensually to the door.

'Where are we going, _sister_?' Rabastan asked while following her along the corridor, the two others on his heels.

'Having _fun_ with some traitors for information.' She replied, her sadistic smile still deforming her features.

'Oh, and who are they?'

Bellatrix turned to face him and purred:

'Alice and Frank Longbottom.'

* * *

'There will be a meeting of the _Traitors_ tonight,' Bellatrix deduced, 'we'll have to stop them before they attend this meeting.'

The four Death Eater were waiting before a little house at the corner of a quiet street, not far from London. It was twilight and they had been lucky to find the house easily they realized as the Longbottom couple were growing quite agitated inside.

'They know.' She whispered.

She knew they were going to use the Floo Network; they had to make this impossible in order to catch them. Rodolphus was standing right behind her with Barty while Rabastan was hiding on the other side of the street, ready to attack.

'They are probably protected by Protective Charms, we definitely cannot burst in and risk to be trapped on the threshold.' Rodolphus stated.

It was always a bit painful to admit, but her husband was, with no doubt, the most down-to-earth and responsible of them. Rabastan was also very intelligent, but he had a touch of sadism and slight craziness, which sometimes made him unpredictable. Barty was… Well he was beyond madness, he almost couldn't put three words together most of the time, which made him very dangerous but still, easily manageable once you knew how to handle all his craziness. And her, she was Madness, Sadism, Loyalty, Violence, all with a touch of childish attitude; this made her the worst, the deadliest, the most dangerous of the Dark Lord's servants.

'Obviously…' she muttered.

She sighed and burst out of her hideout and in the middle of the street, followed by the reproaching whispers of her husband. She was not going to hide in a hole like a snake. _Bellatrix Black doesn't slither, she stands proudly and attack, spitting her venom at the face of her enemies_. She took a few steps towards the house and stopped as if to examine how she could get them out. Except, she knew _how_. A smile crossed her face as she raised her wand and laughed like a child.

'Incendio!'

Flames erupted on the roof and the walls, and in a few seconds, the entire house was on fire. _Trap the mouse into the hole and it will go out for air_. The three other Death Eaters stood by her sides as she was jumping up and down, laughing and shouting.

'Coming out traitors? Come play with us!'

The door flew open and two people came out of the heavy smoke, panting. Before they could do anything, they were disarmed by Rodolphus and Rabastan while Barty and Bellatrix hurried to catch them before they had the chance to run away.

Bellatrix grabbed the man's shoulder and pushed him on the ground. He grunted and ended on all fours, coughing while his wife was crying in Barty's grip. Bellatrix raised her head and found herself facing a completely mad Barty, his eyes burning with anger and lust. She might hate these Aurors but they needed information.

'Control yourself Barty, we need them alive.' She ordered coldly.

Barty glanced at her and calmed a little, his grip still tight on the woman's arm. Rabastan and Rodolphus joined them.

'Where?' Rodolphus asked, glancing aroung them to make sure no Aurors had noticed their – spectacular? – entrance.

Bellatrix turned to him: 'Home'.

She grabbed a handful of the man's thick hair, nodded to the others and disapparated to the Lestrange Manor.

* * *

'I am going to ask you once again and this time, I want an answer.' Bellatrix purred.

Frank Longbottom was lying on his side, shaking, panting and bleeding all over the floor, the mad witch leaning over him also shivering, but with anger and pleasure. He would not say a word and kept staring at her with determination. _How can he possibly still be determined after what he's been through?!_

'Where is the Dark Lord?' She grunted with a kick in his stomach. 'What happened?!'

He raised his eyes to stare at her dark irises and spat on her shoes.

'Voldemort is dead, it's all over.'

'Please', Alice begged quietly.

'Well,' Rodolphus sighed, 'I believe we have no choice, now.'

He reached out for Alice's arm and dragged her a step away from her husband. Their eyes locked and a tear escaped the man's.

'Crucio!'

Alice cried out in pain as her hands clutched the edge of the carpet.

'Stop!' Frank pleased. 'Don't hurt her, you…!'

'-You what?' Bellatrix interrupted. 'Answer and we won't hurt her too much. Crucio!'

Both screams echoed in the grand living room. They had already tried legilimency but these Aurors were well trained. They couldn't reach any important information even after hours of trying.

Bellatrix released her spell and motioned to Rodolphus to do so himself. Rabastan was leaning against the opposite wall, apparently uninterested, while Barty was shaking and cowering in the corner beside the latter. He was enjoying himself very much, a frightening grin crossing his face and could barely contain himself from jumping on the limp bodies before him. _He's sick and twisted_. Well, wasn't she? After all, he simply wanted to participate.

Bellatrix stepped over the man and gave a good kick of her heel in Alice's ribs who barely reacted.

'Tell us where the Dark Lord is and what happened, and I _may_ spare her life.'

She waited – so unusual of her – and watched his face break down in horror. But Frank didn't say a word. Bellatrix turned to her husband and nodded. They both cast a 'Crucio' on the couple.

'Pl-please- s-sto-stop!' One of them managed to articulate between their screams.

'WHERE IS HE?' Bellatrix sharply shouted, jumping up and down in a mixture of anger and delight.

'We-we don't kn-know! Pl-please you-you must beli-believe us!' Alice cried.

'CRUCIO! WHERE-? CRUCIO! -IS HE?'

Why would he not answer? What did she had to do to make him speak, kill his wife? _No, they are so much fun alive, but Merlin, answer me!_

Rabastan moved away from the wall and towards Frank, staring at Bellatrix.

'Bella, we don't have time to play, we have to find the Dark Lord.'

She raised her gaze to his and frowned as a vexed grunt resonated in her throat.

'What do you think I'm _doing_?' She spat. 'Don't you think I want to find Him?'

Rabastan opened his mouth to say something but seemed to retract. _Yes, stay in your place._

'Bella, they're not going to hold long.' Rodolphus admitted.

She turned to him with that same vexed expression, now mixed with pure anger. The screams never stopped.

'Why do you _care_?' She exploded, 'They are nothing! If they have to die, then THEY WILL _DIE_!'

The entire room vibrated with tension, pain, anger and madness; the wallpaper itself threatened to come off the wooden walls. Rabastan made his way to his previous spot as if nothing had happened and left the Longbottom's fate in the others' hands. Bellatrix sighed. Their cries were echoing again and again, never fading, never stopping, and yet it was not enough for her. If they couldn't give her what she needed, then we would make them suffer a lot worst than death. Bellatrix and Rodolphus finally released the Cruciatus Curse and silence fell in the cold dark room. _They are useless now._

'Don't expect anything from them Bella.' Rabastan warned her. 'What is left of their sanity must not be what you are looking for.'

Bellatrix sent him a deadly stare and pointed her wand at Frank's shivering body.

'Legilimens.'

 **'…happened…?'**

 **'…-eville to his grandmoth-…safe…'**

 **'…Order will meet…'**

 **'Dumbledore said…and James Potte-…sacrificed...'**

 **'…not dea-…come back…'**

'He's not dead.' She whispered.

The three men suddenly turned to her, stunned.

'What did you say?' Rodolphus asked hurriedly.

'He's not _dead_ , He will come back.' Bellatrix repeated with a smile. _I knew it._

'What more?' Rabastan questioned while walking towards her.

'Nothing, it's all blured and confused- they are no use anymore.'

Bellatrix looked at the two form on the carpet, twitching and sobbing but their eyes absent, like ghosts.

'What we do then?' They all turned to Barty who stared at the couple with mad eyes.

'Get rid of them,' Bellatrix ordered scornfully to Rabstan.

The latter eyed Rodolphus and they both took hold on the shaking bodies, disapparating in a loud crack. Silence was there once again, invading the entire Manor. She sighed and replaced a reluctant strand of hair behind her right ear.

'Get out, now.'

Not moving an inch, Barty disapparated in a 'pop', leaving her completely alone. She walked to her room and lit up the candles with a flick of her hand, palcing her wand on the nightstand. She unlaced her boots, her sleeves and her corset – definitely too many lacings – and took her thick, black dress off. Pulling away the covers, she laid on her back on the matress and stared at the ceiling.

 _I miss him. How could He leave us, leave_ me _? What will I do now? I didn't even understand a thing in the traitor's memories, I have no idea how all of this happened. I loved Him. It will never be the same again. We don't know when He'll come back nor how._

For the first time in years, Bellatrix completely let it go and bursted into tears. She could not live without Him, without the man she loved; she would have to, of course. She rolled onto her side and curled into a ball, bringing the covers to her shoulders and burring her face in the bed sheets.

Sleep welcomed her with arms wide open as she remembered the past ten years of her existence; _the best ten years I could have dreamed of._

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	3. Try Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

We're getting closer to the part of the story that really interests me, and I'm really happy to see that you're a lot to like this story, I really apppreciate!

* * *

CHAPTER 3: Try me

The next day, Bellatrix woke up early despite her desperate need to sleep. She took her pillow from under her head and placed it on her face, avoiding the sunlight. She didn't want to face that day because she knew that boredom was all she could expect now. Rodolphus moved next to her and she turned her back to him. Her feet were uncovered, shivering in the morning fresh air. It was quiet, peaceful, and for once, she had no desire to change that. But of course, someone had other plans.

She felt his hand on her hip under the covers while he got closer to her, pressing his chest against her shoulder blades.

'What exactly do you think you're doing?' She grunted.

Rodolphus stopped but his breath was still caressing her neck where he had put her curly hair aside. He started to stroke her hip as she put her pillow down under her head.

'Trying to relax you, you're all tense.'

'Rod'…' She sighed in exasperation.

She had never wanted this when she had married Rodolphus; it was nothing but an arranged marriage with another pureblood family that she had to make for her family's sake – which had been tarnished by her _cousin_.

Rodolphus kissed her cheek and pressed himself even closer to her, his hand lowering down to her navel. She seized his hand and moved it away from her.

'Get your hands off me.' She ordered.

'Come on Bella,' Rodolphus pleased, not moving away, 'I miss you.'

She laughed, not event realizing it could be offensive; well, maybe she knew but she didn't care anyway.

'How can you miss something you've never had?' She snorted, pushing away the covers and standing up, keeping her back to him.

She hated it when he was pushing her like that, and he knew it put her on edge, and that he would never get what he wanted _. I am never ever going to have sex with you, nor anyone, except-_

Bellatrix shook her head to push this thought out of her mind. Noticing he had probably been staring at her since she had stood up, she ran a hand in her tangled mane and reached out for her dress.

'How can you not?' He asked, more to himself than to her.

She froze, her arm bent only an inch away from her dress. She resisted the urge to kill him but instead turned to face him with a deadly stare. He didn't seem to care, however, and she caught his gaze on her breasts. What did she have to say? She could shout at him to shut up of course, or she could slap him, but he would never stop harassing her about sex. Why he wanted it so badly she did not know and she actually-

'-don't give a damn about it.' She whispered unconsciously.

She grabbed her dress and put it on quickly.

'Don't you dare talk about this again.' Her voice was sharp with a touch of madness he didn't hear was appearing.

Rodolphus propped himself up on his elbow and pushed the sheets to his knees, ostentatiously refusing to take his eyes of her.

Bellatrix frowned, his moves were slightly too aggressive in the way he was standing up and pacing towards her. _I am much more powerful than he is, what is he thinking? That he can upset me and get away with it as if I was a nicy witchy?_ But before she could get to her wand, he turned away from her and started dressing up. Satisfied, she grinned, walked to the nearest window and opened it softly to enjoy the cold wind.

'Bella, Merlin's sake close this window, it's freezing!' Rodolphus complained.

The garden's walls were half-hidden under a heavy fog that ran through the dark forest and disappeared into the pinkish horizon, the branches covered in snow shaking like skeleton arms. It was all white and she hated that. _I am a dark witch not a bloody snow queen!_ She plunged her naked hands in the snow covering up the window's edge and, ignoring the cold, she formed a perfectly shaped ball, so soft and only wishing to reach its target. However, she first went back to her nightstand to collect her wand and then returned to the window, the snowball still pressed against her belly. There, trotting silently on the grass was a tiny red fox, his furry tail caressing the silver snow. It had not the time to reach the opposite wall that a green light hit its back without a word and he stumbled. Dead.

'Yaaay!' Bellatrix screamed and jumped like a child. The smile on her face was one of true pleasure and joy; she could've been mistaken for a girl, had she not had that note of pure madness ringing in her voice. The wind was now howling in the room and snowflakes stuck in her hair.

'Close that window Bella!'

A smile still curved her lips when she turned to face him and met his angry stare. The snowball was bouncing in her slender fingers as she spoke.

'I. Don't. Want. To.'

He kept staring at her with angry eyes but seemed to hesitate.

'Come on, how old are you? Throw it out.' He finally said with a voice he wanted strong but which was slightly trembling.

'Not fun, Rody.' She purred, but still she did as he asked before closing the window. She grabbed her corset and started to lace it behind her back with little success.

'Let me help you.' Rodolphus offered beside her with his outstretched arms inches away from her hips.

She stepped aside immediately.

'I don't need your help!' She hissed. 'I can do it myself.'

'Bella, don't be stupid let me-'

'WHAT?!'

Her corset fell to her feet and she gripped his unbuttoned shirt by the collar. Her eyes were sending blades.

' _WHO_ DO YOU THINK _YOU ARE_ TO CALL ME _STUPID_?!'

She revealed her perfect teeth with a grin and raised her wand to his cheek, ready to cast any spell if he was to defy her once more.

' _ME_?! HOW _DARE_ YOU CALL ME STU-

* * *

'Wake up crazy bitch.'

She opened her eyes and found herself blind.

'Get the others.' A deep voice demanded.

A door swung opened and Bellatrix had to close her eyes before the dazzling light. _Where am I?_ When the door closed, she opened her eyes again and finally got used to the darkness. A man was standing in front of her and looking at her with disgust. Her wrists were caught in handcuffs and chained to the wall supporting her back but her legs were free; however the chains didn't seem long enough for her to stand up completely. She had her dress on but not her corset. _Of course, I would have been able to lace it if that stupid Rod had not been annoying me_. She felt almost naked without it actually.

'You're going to stare at me all day long?' Bellatrix asked lightly.

No answer.

'Because if you are, then I'm going back to sleep.'

She could not see him clearly but she noticed the frown of his eyebrows as she cocked her head to the side and hit the floor regularly with her sharp nails. The clicking sound of it was echoing in the silent room. _I am in the Ministry, better get going._

The man shifted his weight on his other foot and cleared his throat, probably from anxiety. Bellatrix closed her eyes and focused on the chain rings on the wall. _Wandless magic requires all the strength you have, and in this case, I have not much_. She had to distract him.

'Imprisoned in the ministry,' she hummed in a high-pitched voice, 'with a really. Really. Ugly. Baby. Wizard. All weak and-'

'Shut up.'

The rings broke in half in a loud crack.

'What the…?'

Before he could finish his sentence, Bellatrix had jumped on him fiercely, a hand clamping his throat with the other one in search for his wand.

'Come on, love, give your wand to Crazy Bellatrix, or die.' She smiled.

She found his armed hand and tried to take his wand from him but he was resisting. The door burst open and another wizard entered the room in shock with his wand pointed to the struggling couple. Bellatrix released her grip on the wizard's throat and stretched her arm defensively before her face. She whispered a 'protego' as the intruder cast a 'stupefy'. Despite her strength, wandless magic was not powerful enough, and she was knocked off the ground and hit the wall with a loud thud. Her vision was blurred and a sharp noise vibrated in her skull but she managed to stay conscious.

'Incarcerous.'

Ropes tied her wrists together as a hand grabbed her arm and lifted her up on her feet. She faced the angry wizard and hissed.

'Don't play with me, traitor.' He responded. 'Walk.'

He pushed her before him into the corridor. _The Department of Mysteries, better and better_. She gave him her best crazy smile, straightened her back and walked along the dark marbled corridor, her face up in elegance and pride. No one crossed their path on the way and she ended up thinking that maybe she could have tried to escape better than that. Before she could make up a plan, they turned into a bigger room where they joined three other Aurors with Rodolphus, Rabastan and Barty. Where the first two adopted Bellatrix's proud attitude, Barty had seemed to regain some sanity and was shaking violently and glancing all around him as if hoping to find a way out; _of course, there is none._

'Stay still, bitch. Don't forget who has the wand.' The wizard warned her when he placed her beside Rodolphus.

'I don't need a _wand_ to be better than all. Of. _You_.' She teased him, sticking her tongue with a smile.

The Auror simply ignored her. _Not fun_. Rodolphus pushed his shoulder against hers and she looked at him. His eyes lost their pride for a second and came to a caring look.

'Someone betrayed us.' He whispered angrily.

Bellatrix frowned and instinctively eyed Barty who could not be more uneasy right now. But to her surprise, Rodolphus shook his head.

'Not him. But I don't know who.' He confessed.

That's why he was not completely confident; there was a traitor in their ranks with no idea of who it was. _Well, at least I am no traitor, I will never deny where my faith lies and I will hunt down those who did_.

A fainted sound took Bellatrix out of her reverie and she turned only to see six slender, ghostly, hooded figures entering the room.

 _Dementors_.

She hated them, more than anything in the world she _feared_ them. Because she was incapable of performing a Patronus Charm, wand or not, and because the hole in their face seemed to suck her entire being every time she laid an eye on them. They glided towards the four Death Eaters and circled them, thus allowing the Aurors to open the great door that led to a huge trial room. Hundreds of people were crowded around four iron seats in the center and every eyes were on the prisoners. Judges, journalists, witnesses, everybody whispered and glanced at them with a mix of interest, disgust and incomprehension. _Well,well, all this attention for me? What an honor_.

Bellatrix walked first, lifting her head and swinging her hips as is she was in a fashion show. She caught a glimpse of Barty on her left: his head down, he was shaking violently. _Come on! What's with him?_ The crowd was grunting and some were even shouting insults and outraged cries. Dumbledore was sitting on her right along with others Aurors. He might be one of the best wizards of his time – _only fools would deny it_ – he was no match for the Dark Lord and she would have great pleasure in killing him.

'Silence please!' Demanded the judge.

The voices faded immediately, leaving the room in an awkward silence where a fly could have been heard.

Rodolphus and Rabastan sat on the first two seats carelessly, Barty literally let himself fall against the back of the chair, and Bellatrix sat straight and her legs crossed as if it were a throne. Chains tied them all to their chairn and Bellatrix stiffened to the cold metal's contact. It was only when she looked at the judge that she understood Barty's strange behavior. High above every wizard was Barty Crouch Sr. and his wife, the latter awfully pale and uneasy, probably nor far from bursting into tears or breaking down in hysteria.

'You are accused of capturing the Aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom, using the Cruciatus Curse on them to collect information about your master's whereabouts.' Crouch Sr. stated.

Rodolphus and Bellatrix snorted in unison.

'Father, please, I don't have anything to do with-' Barty pleased.

'You are, according to the laws,' Crouch Sr. loudly interrupted, covering his son's voice, 'condemned to life imprisonment in Azkaban.'

 _No witnesses? No vote from the jury? Not like I was expecting to be cleared of all charges, but that was fast!_

'Father I didn't do anything! Don't send me back to the Dementors, I have done nothing I _swear_!'

'Your sentence is to be applied immediately with no chance of release!'

Everyone in the room applauded with faces of victory. _You have not won, you will lose._ Bellatrix turned to Barty who was struggling on his chair, tears ran down his cheeks and he kept on shouting.

' _Mother_! Don't let him do that! PLEASE! I did not know, I didn't do anything I SWEAR! Not in Azkaban!'

From the corner of her eyes, Bellatrix spoted the Dementors approaching as their chains released. She stood lazily and stared hatefully at Crouch Sr.

'The Dark Lord _will return_ , Crouch!' She spat. 'Throw us in Azkaban, we will wait! He will rise again and will reward US! His most faithful servants!'

Rodolphus and Rabastan were already going away and Bellatrix followed them before turning around one last time.

'He will return more powerful than all of you and you will DIE! We will win in the end, and _nothing_ will stop us! TRAITORS!'

She turned to the exit with a smile as a storm of shouts and insults erupted from the benches, laughing madly and hoping it would give goosebumps to at least half of the room.

'I am your _son_! Don't let them take me!'

When she exited the trial room and glanced at Barty, he was being taken away by two Dementors, slowly losing his strength but still struggling _. The little thing is strong, too bad he is a traitor._

'I HAVE NO SON!'

Bellatrix glimpsed the weak woman beside Barty fainting before the great doors shut down loudly. Looking around, the Aurors were not here yet, maybe they'd never come. _Fine, having a little time to make things clear_. She rushed towards Barty and seized his throat, pushing him violently against the stone wall.

'How DARE you betray the Dark Lord?!' She shouted.

He was not scared of her; instead he was angry, probably about what his father had just said.

'He has given you everything and you deny-!'

'SHUT UP!' Barty pushed her away and they both fell to the ground, Bellatrix under him. _UNDER?! Never am I under someone!_

'I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN AZKABAN AND END UP FUCKED UP LIKE YOU ARE!'

Bellatrix showed her teeth and punched his jaw, making them roll over until he was under her. The two others – as well as the Dementors – didn't seem to be really interested in them murdering each other, except maybe Rodolphus who was glancing anxiously at her.

'You already are fucked up! You are a fucked up TRAITOR!'

Her nails scratched his shoulder and drew blood whilst the other slapped him hard.

'Kill me then! It will never be worse than Azkaban!'

She raised an eyebrow in surprise and grinned.

'If you insist, there could be no greater pleasure.' She purred, clutching his throat.

'BELLA NO!'

Rodolphus rushed to her and grabbed her in his arms to pull her away from Barty. She struggled and shouted him to let her fulfill his desire. The kicks of her heels reached Rodolphus' legs and stomach but he miraculously managed not to let her go.

'I've had enough of your fake concern! NOW PUT ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY!' She ordered.

'Put her down,' A deep voice interrupted, 'and now you all shut up and stand still.'

The four Death Eaters turned to the corridor to find five Aurors on the threshold with their wand pointed to them. Bellatrix took advantage of the moment of astonishment and poked Rodolphus ribs. He groaned and let her go to hold his aching side. She readjusted her dress and threw a scornful look at Barty who was having difficulties standing up properly. _So weak._

'We are going to take you to Azkaban where you will spend the rest of your life.'

The one who had been speaking was a tall man with tiny, mischievous eyes wrinkled by disgust at the moment. Bellatrix didn't know him, maybe he was one of the very few traitors she had never had the chance to threaten.

'This, of course, if no one has the brilliant idea to give you the Dementor's Kiss.' He grinned sadisticly.

Bellatrix laughed loudly, making both Rabastan and Barty jump; they were not as used as Rodolphus to her outbursts of madness.

'I doubt it, we won't be staying long in this hell, just visiting.' She joked, constantly playing with one of curls.

None of the Aurors replied but they simply circled them, each one holding the arm of a Death Eater _. Of course, I have to go with that pretentious half-blood_. She gave him her most deadly look and they apparated.

* * *

The stones were breaking and crumbling everywhere they set their eyes, everything was grey and dark. It was _cold_ , so cold. The Aurors had left after they had changed into their prisoners rags and taken pictures with their identification number. _It was soooo boring_! The tall one had even teased her when she was having her number tattooed – it was supposed to hurt but she could feel nothing but a tickling really.

'None of you is going to last a year anyway.' He had laughed. 'You will all be mad within a month.'

Hearing that Barty would have lost it, had he not already plunged back into his state of unconsciousness.

'I am a step ahead then,' Bellatrix had whispered lasciviously, 'I already am.'

And now they were walking the corridor, avoiding to look in the cells on their sides; they knew how they would end up but that didn't mean they wanted to see it. They would discover it shortly.

She would never admit it to anyone, but Bellatrix was doubting. Not on her faith or what she was supposed to do for her Lord no, she doubted on her ability to preserve the small part of her mind she could claim to be sane. She had heard of Azkaban and what happened within its thick and unfathomable walls; it had made her shiver. The fact that she was half mad and that she had much less happy thoughts than most people was an advantage – as well as her occlumency indeniable mastery – but her mind could still be attacked nonetheless. _But the worst in this place, what you are the most afraid of, what becomes your worst enemy, is yourself._

The Dementors kept draining their strength and mind until they stopped in front of an open cell. They motioned Rabastan to enter, which he did after putting a hand on his brother's shoulder and glancing at Bellatrix. They were all silent. He was very calm when he took a step in the small, windows-free cell. The door closed behind him and he couldn't be seen anymore. Bellatrix sighed. _I'll see you when He returns._

Two cells farther, Barty was ordered to enter. Bellatrix didn't utter a word; she spat at his feet before the door was closed on his unmoved face. They walked for a minute or two until they stopped once more. This time, it was her turn to obey. There was an awkward silence where Bellatrix would wait to enter and Rodolphus would not know what to say.

'Goodbye.' Bellatrix finally broke the silence and took a step towards her husband.

 _I cannot just leave him, I don't love him but for once, I can try to force myself into this_. She crossed his surprised gaze and kissed his cheek softly.

'We'll meet again soon.'

The door closed on his relieved smile while she probably had the same expression. _I'm going to miss him, it's true._

The cell was really small, no air coming through any window or gap, no light except the weak ray of white under the door. She sneered anxiously, found herself laughing unbontrollably, crying and sobbing, finally screaming as she had never screamed before. All her rage, despair, sadness, madness, frustration, letdown, fear; it was all of it. The shrieking cry was unbearable and hurt her head but she didn't care, she needed to let it all out. Only when her bleeding hands fell limply to her side did she realize she had been beating up the wall. Her voice faded, her knees gave up and she ended up on the floor with her back against the bloody wall, looking up at the ceiling _. That's what they want, don't give them that, keep your strength, and shut up! Yes_ you _, that insane part of me who always tries to take advantage of my weaknesses. I won't give up! I will keep myself alive and as sane as possible._

She wiped her tears and put some hair away from her face. She remembered when she was at Hogwarts – _damn, that was thirteen years ago!_ – and she was sad or angry, she used to sit by the Black Lake at night and stare at the stars for hours; that always relaxed her. Well, right now she couldn't see the sky, and even if she could, she would bet there were no stars above this living hell. However, Bellatrix was a very talented witch, and among her many talents was memory. She had learnt the whole sky map in Astronomy – not _in_ Astronomy because she had never attended any of her classes, but in her book – and was able to name each and every star in the sky; there was even one named Bellatrix.

The dark witch closed her eyes, her eyes stuck on the ceiling, and concentrated. There, behind the dilapidated stones, was the dark night sky shining with thousands of little suns burning millions and millions of miles away from her. Still, their warmth was one she could not live without; _not when it is the only one which can prevent my heart from turning into ice._

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story. Please, tell me what you like and don't like, ask questions, anything! Silence is horrible because I have no idea how you fell about all of this!


	4. (In)Sanity

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

Okay, so this chapter is a bit short but it was quite hard writing it. About the length of the story I have no idea. I tried to make this chapter pretty clear, but please note that many things remains unexplained. Now is the time when I ask you to believe me and to know you'll be given answers later. I know you may end up like 'wtf did I just read I don't get it' but things will be explained later. However, if things are really not clear - especially because this chapter is a bit messy about thoughts, memories. Please tell me and I'll try to correct that. With this said, enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 4: (In)Sanity

1981

The stars keep turning before my closed eyes, their light never fading. It was three – maybe four – days since I arrived in this rotted cell, and yet I have the feeling it's been months. I tried to keep a count of my 'meals' at the start, but when I understood that they brought us food at random time of the day – I think it's about one per day – I gave up. Now, I just try to measure the hours to keep a hold on the time. Why? It's not going to help me, or is it? Maybe complete madness will give me some rest before it overwhelms me.

'I'm booooored'

I can't stand doing nothing everyday, sleeping for hours and waking up without being able to tell if it's day or goddam night! I often get up and walk around the cell like a caged animal which is basically what I am. I have stopped punching the walls, now I just stare desperately at my bloody knuckles in the hope it'll heal somehow.

Sleep is supposed to be my way out of this hell, but even that they couldn't let me have it. My nightmares are my daily wake up, it never ends, always different and yet always the same. Nowhere is safe for me and my mind becomes even more dangerous than this cell and its demons. They never really visit but I can feel them through the thick door, I feel their breath as they suck my soul. They've taken not much but still a lot to me; happy thoughts are such a precious gift I cannot allow myself to lose any, but this of course they don't care.

I try to remember, to constantly think about the little joy it gives me. My rare joys during childhood with Cissy, eventually with Andy – no, I don't want to think about that traitor bitch – and my years at Hogwarts. It had been boring but not as horrible as I let people know. I had missed classes – most of them actually – and had threatened everyone except one or two teachers whom I hated the least. That was the fun I'd had.

I have eventually thought about what I saw in the traitor's mind but I don't have much, only this:

 **'…happened…?'**

 **'…-eville to his grandmoth-…safe…'**

 **'…Order will meet…'**

 **'Dumbledore said…and James Potte-…sacrificed...'**

 **'…not dea-…come back…'**

Okay so : erase what concerns the traitors and their son, and maybe also the Order; they were probably not the cause of the Dark Lord's fall. What is left then?

 **'Dumbledore said…and James Potte-…sacrificed...'**

 **'…not dea-…come back…'**

I know about James Potter and his wife Lily, it was the couple the Dark Lord was going to kill this night when he was gone. Who had sacrified themselves? The Potters? It would make sense. The 'come back' concerns my Lord, I know he'll return, mostly because the Dark Mark is still on my forearm, although faded and less detailed. But who is the 'not dead' referring to? The Dark Lord or the Potter boy? No, my Lord killed the baby, he must have.

I yawn. I am exhausted. A tear runs down my cheek as my mouth parts and a heavy breath resounds, followed by a sob. It is worst than I had imagined, more exhausting, more cruel, more crazy, more horrible. It only makes me want to kill myself. I close my fists and cry in pain when my sore fingers hit the floor. If I had known… I would have fought more fiercely to run away from these damn Aurors and not end up here! I mean I knew it was hell but I had never experienced it before, I thought I was strong enough for this but I'm not. How many years will I lay here and die slowly? How many years before He returns and gets me out of here? Will He even get me out of here? Of course He will, I am Bellatrix Lestrange, not a coward as Barty.

I can't believe…he betrayed us…like that…I…am…falling…

* * *

 **1968, Bellatrix's 6th year at Hogwarts**

 **'CISSY!'**

 **Bellatrix burst the door open and rushed into the empty girls' dormitory. Empty except for two girls in the far corner and her young sister sitting on her bed with her legs crossed. She raised her head in fear when the door loudly hit the wall to face the angry demon before her. It was her second year at Hogwarts, she had to be used to Bellatrix calling for her at any time of the day. She loved her, she was her little Cissy, but being at Hogwarts didn't mean she had to stop being a manipulative, self-centred and hot-tempered big sister.**

 **'What is it?' Cissy naively inquired.**

 **Bellatrix seized her arm, ignoring her sister's whimpers.**

 **'You'd better hold that pet of yours.' She hissed.**

 **'What are you-'**

 **'Next time I see him, I will curse him until he begs for mercy, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!'**

 **That rat'd better not play around her any soon or she would actually cast worse than 'crucio' on him. The two other girls in the room were frozen, stunned by her aggressiveness and negligence of the rules; they dare not interfere.**

 **'What did Lucius do?'**

 **Oh! That name! She couldn't stand it anymore, it gave her shivers of disgust everytime she heard it. However, she didn't show it and simply frowned. She pointed a finger to her sister's heart and marked each of her words by poking her chest.**

 **'He. Stays. Away. From. Me.'**

* * *

 **'Bella?'**

 **Andromeda put a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder and sat next to her. The full moon was high and Bellatrix stared blankly at its reflection in the Black Lake. She didn't want to talk, not now.**

 **'What happened with Cissy?' Andromeda whispered.**

 **Of course Cissy had told her. What could she say?**

 **'I told her to keep her rat away from me.' She coldly answered.**

 **Andromeda sighed heavily.**

 **'Bella, you should stop troubling Lucius, he's just thirteen, and still you seem to be the youngest one.' She lectured.**

 **Andromeda put her arm on Bellatrix's shoulders and laid her head in her curly mane as if she wanted to stay like this for the rest of her life, drifting slowly into sleep. Bellatrix responded by placing her hand on the youngest's curls and motherly brushing them out.**

 _ **I wish we'd stay like this forever.**_

* * *

November 1st 1993

It has been _twelve years_. For twelve years to this day I have been slowly dying in my cell. I bet I'd be scared of myself if I had a mirror. And it has been three months since the news of _his_ grand Azkaban escape. Even to myself I can't say his name.

I was pacing around the cell relentlessly, eyes fixed on my naked feet while I played nervously with my hands.

'When when will He return and get me out of this out of this hell there is nothing left of me that is not fully devoted to Him and yet I am still rotting here when I could be out there preparing His return and vengeance on that bloody Potter boy how could he undo Him how could a filth half-blood baby defeat the Dark Lord it is impossible I should be out there I cannot be locked here I'm going insane as if I was not already I can't think straight anymore and my head is full of what I cannot know if it's reality or memories or dreams or pure imagination I do nothing I just wait that's what I do I wait everyday for something to happen I wait so much I can even tell I've been here for twelve years for four thousands three hundred and eighty days for one hundred and five thousand one hundred and twenty hours for three hundred seventy eight million four hundred and thirty two thous – SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! *I punch the wall as hard as I can despite my weak forces* I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! ANYMORE! *I don't stop even when rivers of blood flow from my palms and knuckles, I keep punching and screaming* AAAAAHHH! I WISH YOU WERE HERE! *leaving the wall, I stand in the centre of the cell and pull at strands of my hair which falls at my feet, my nails scratch my scalp and face and leave scars everywhere they can reach* I WISH YOU COULD TAKE ME OUT OF HERE! DON'T! *my high-pitched voice breaks into a piercing cry and cackle and whatever could get out of my lungs* DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!'

I stumble and hit the hard cold stone in the instant. I am crying, I have not cried for so long, always lost in my dreams and fake reality, of which I only escape from time to time to yell my hate to the entire universe.

'I love you,' I sob, 'please help me.'

* * *

June 10th 1995

It is burning. I open my eyes and stare at my forearm. It is moving.

'Not the first time objects move, daydreaming Bella, remember that.' I mock.

As to punish my negligence, the burning increases. I turn my eyes again to my skin and I really see it. The snake is waving.

'It is not…'

I take a closer look at it with widened eyes. The Mark is clear and detailed and moving. He's-

'-back.' I whisper. 'He's back.'

After fourteen years, He finally returns. A warmth I thought I had forgotten overwhelms me and hope makes my heart beat faster as I realize what all this means. I'm finally going out of here.

I bet my joy could be heard in all Azkaban that night.

* * *

January 8th 1996

I placed my ear to the thick door and listened carefully. Apart from the screamings, I could not hear any noise. What I mean is that I could not hear the Dementors' gliding sound. It has happened a lot in the last two months, but I have no idea why. Hope tells me they are revolting against the Ministry, which could be perfectly possible.

I step away from the door and quickly fall back to sleep. I have not slept a lot lastly, my forearm burns me. It pains me to be away from my Lord and the sooner I get to Him, the better I feel.

A loud explosion. My eyes burst open at the noise and I look around, trying to get my flying hair out of my face. Wind, I feel the wind on my skin, and I can see the sky, or what I think is the sky; I have not seen it in years. The walls around me are in ruins, opening my view to the clouds, the sea and the dark flying forms. Death Eaters.

'Free. I am free.'

It is hard to believe, to think that after so many years stuck in this prison, I could get away so easily. I laugh. They can not stop me anymore. A thrill awakes my whole body and I walk close to the edge of the crumbling building. At my side appears a shadow. I turn to the wizard holding his hand to me, grab it and we disapparate. When my feet leave the ground, a tear escapes me; it was hard, very hard, and yet here I am, hope kept me alive; He kept me alive.

* * *

Well? How did I go? Too messy maybe... Tell me what you thought!

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	5. Not As Simple As I Thought

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 5: Not as simple as I thought

1996

'He knows how to play!'

I stepped out of the shadows and stood next to Lucius, keeping my distance with him. Chin raised to make myself look taller and more powerful; I smirked and tangled a dark curl around my wand.

'Itty. Bitty. Baby. Potter.' I pouted with wide, crazy eyes. 'Now give us this prophecy.'

The other Death Eaters were circling the six teenagers. Three of them I knew, Potter and the Weasley siblings - whatever their names were. There was also a blonde girl who looked stupid, a brown-hair girl whom I deduced was _the_ Granger girl and a boy who also looked stupid. And this was supposed to be the enemy?

'Bellatrix Lestrange!'

The stupid-looking boy had spoken, or rather spat my name _._ Oh, now I remembered.

'Neville Longbottom is it?' I asked childishly.

He frowned and seemed to raise his wand a bit.

'How's mom and dad?' I teased.

He angrily pointed his wand at me before being stopped by Potter.

'Wait, don't do anything now.' The latter ordered him.

I laughed.

'Did you hear that? Giving them orders like he's some sort of a leader! YOU ARE NOTHING POTTER! ACCIO PROPHE-!'

'PROTEGO!'

The prophecy moved in his hand but didn't come to me. He was fast the little baby.

'NO!' Ordered Lucius, staring at me. 'We cannot risk to break it.'

I avoided his gaze and focused on the small glass sphere. I had to get it, I had to please my Lord and give Him what He wanted. It had to be me.

'Fine.' I accepted carelessly.

Opposite to me were Rodolphus and Dolohov, on my right Crabbe and Rookwood, on my left Rabastan, Nott and Mcnair; we were too many for the teens to handle. Without second thoughts, I disappeared in a cloud of black smoke and landed right beside Rodolphus. Before anybody could react – except for Lucius who whispered my name in aggravation – I aimed for the redhead girl.

'CRUCIO!'

The girl fell screaming to the ground and the redhead boy kneeled beside her.

'GINNY! STOP IT YOU-!' He yelled.

'Give me the prophecy and I'll let her live!' I ordered between hysterical laughs.

The girl kept struggling against invisible pain and none of her friends seemed to know what to do. So easy to break.

'Potter, give me the prophecy!' Lucius demanded.

The boy seemed to hesitate for a couple of seconds, then suddenly rose his wand and they all screamed:

'STUPEFY!'

* * *

 **Hermione**

The Death Eaters all disappeared into black smoke, I grabbed Ginny's arm whose pain had stopped and helped her up.

'Come on Ginny, we have to go now!' I encouraged her.

We both ran between the ranges of glass spheres, casting 'reducto' every now and then towards the shelves to slow down any follower. We turned right and left, losing ourselves in this immense maze. I had no idea where we should go or if we would be able to find the others; all I knew was that we had to leave this place.

'Here!' Ginny pulled me to the right and we fell face to face with Harry and Ron.

'Luna and Neville?' I asked.

They both shook their head.

'We have to find them and leave!' I said before turning to hex a Death Eater on the right.

We all continued running, hexing and casting spells all around us. Many shelves were dangerously collapsing as we ran, having us go faster and constantly watching out for spheres to fall on our heads. I tried to ignore Bellatrix's laugh echoing in my ears and focused on Harry's back in front of me.

'NO!'

At the end of the alley we were in, Neville and Luna were fighting a group of Death Eaters and were taking steps back, overwhelmed by the three wizards. Harry castes 'stupefy' but he had been too slow and the Death Eaters had already vanished.

'Watch out!' Ron shouted next to me.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a huge shelf crumble towards us, glowing spheres falling all around us. I didn't hesitate and pushed Ginny away from the structure and collapsed on my back a few feet behind. The shelf loudly crashed on the floor, I covered my face with my arm to avoid any sharp edges flying across the room, and stood up. I was alone on one side; I could see Luna and Ron in another row of shelves and Harry, Ginny and Neville on another row again.

'GO BACK TO THE DOOR!' Harry urged.

They all started running to the right and I did the same, hoping to find a perpendicular row to join them. There was no sign of any Death Eater for now, as if they had given up or waiting for us somewhere. The second option was much more likely to happen.

Sounds of battle could be heard not far, I ran faster and turned left once more, still not able to join the others.

'Give me the prophecy Potter!' Lucius' Voice ordered.

No Harry don't give him, I'm coming.

'Don't touch him!' This was Ginny.

Suddenly, Ron's screams filled the room.

'RON!' I cried at the top of my lungs.

A very big mistake I realized too late. In the blink of an eye, I was thrown to the floor gasping, my wand taken away.

'Granger, is it?' A female voice giggled.

It was _her_ , no doubt, one of the most – if not _the_ most – dangerous Death Eater of all. I stood up to face the darkness, turning around and scanning the area but she was not to be seen.

'Your little friends' lives depend on Potter, we should try to convince him, don't you think?'

Her voice seemed to come from all around me. I was still hearing the others fighting and caught a glimpse of ray of light a dozen rows away. Catching my breath, I started to run towards the source of the light.

'Impedimenta!'

I suddenly stumbled, unable to put a foot before the other, and landed on all fours, desperately trying to get up. A kick in the ribs sent me on my back and I faced her: Bellatrix Lestrange. She was smiling sadistically and playing with her wand; she seemed to be hesitating on what to do now. She picked up my wand and slipped it in her right laced sleeve.

'POTTER!' She called him and the authority in her voice made me shiver. 'You'd better give us the prophecy or your little know-it-all will not last long under my wand!'

My eyes widened and I struggled to get on my feet but she had seen me and immediately pushed her foot onto my ribs, just below my breasts, and forced almost her entire weight on my bones. I cried out in pain and tried to push her boot away but it only made her push harder.

'What's with you, mudblood?' She leaned over me and her face came to only a few inches from mine. 'You hurt?'

My eyes lost themselves into her dark irises as pain overwhelmed my brain. A loose black curl was tickling my cheek and I resisted the urge to brush it away. She was frightening and madly crazy, but she remained beautiful, even though I had no idea why I was thinking about this!

'Let me go!' I struggled but she was so heavy! How could such a small woman be so towering and threatening?

The dark witch stretched her arm towards my chest and her fingers clenched my throat with an unexpected strength. I fought for breath, trying to push her hand away, my nails scratching her ivory skin, which made her grin. Tiny red spots started to blur my vision as the drought of my tongue spread to my throat.

'Aww, baby muddy trying to fight?' The tip of her wand rested on my cheek. She was enjoying this.

Of course she was enjoying it, she was mad! A mad psychopath with a personality disorder to start. She would not stop I realized, I had to stop it myself or I would die. The others were still fighting and apparently, Harry had not given up the prophecy. I didn't know how long we could all hold against those Death Eaters.

'Well, let's take it seriously now.' Bellatrix's eyes shined with mischief for a second and the next one her wand was raised above her head.

'CRUCIO!'

It took me several seconds to understand that the cries in my head were my own. While my bones were breaking one by one, she kept smiling and laughing like a girl. I heard my name called by Harry or Ron, maybe both, but I could not answer; all I could do was scream and suffer.

'THE PROPHECY POTTER!'

The pain faded as well as my voice when she lifted her foot from my lungs and released my throat. I gasped for air and coughed, my limbs burning and aching. I had never felt so much pain in my life. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout and roll myself into a tight ball to avoid facing her again. But there she was, looking down on me as if I was just a toy she wished to play with. She waited for a couple of seconds, her eyes fixed on me.

'Well well well, they don't seem to care about you, scum.' She purred.

I propped myself up on my elbows and stared at her right forearm. I had to distract her, but how? She did not take her eyes off me.

'We'll play a little more then, shall we?'

I brought my legs back to my chest, preparing myself to stand up.

'Lumos.' I whispered.

Through the fabric of her sleeve, the tip of my wand glowed against her skin, catching her attention. As soon as surprise was read in her eyes, I jumped on my feet and rushed into her, trying to snatch her wand. But Bellatrix reacted surprisingly fast and moved her armed hand above her head, probably forgetting that I was taller than she was. Still, I could barely touch the wooden stick and, taken in my tracks, ended up behind her, about to lose balance.

'YOU FILTH!'

 _Well done Hermione!_ The rage in her eyes sent goosebumps all over my body. _Plan B, think!_ Bellatrix took a step towards me and slapped me hard before grabbing the collar of my jumper. She pulled my face closer to hers.

'You don't seem to have learn you place, MUDDY!'

She spat on my face, her devilish smile still there, teasing me. Too much, it was too much.

'HERMIONE!'

Ginny's voice took me back to reality. _Run._

'Don't touch me!' I shouted.

I was trying to push her away, trying to find a weak spot, anything I could use to escape. She leaned closer and closer, her nose almost touching mine.

'Never.' She whispered.

I did not hesitate. I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her head backwards while trying to take her wand from her. She cried out in pain but didn't let go of my jumper, holding firmly her crooked wand in her slender fingers.

'CRUCIO!'

The red light licked my cheek as I pushed her away. We both lost balance and loudly crashed on the floor with me on top of her.

It was a strange sensation to feel her body under mine when it had been the other way round just five seconds ago. I could guess the curves of her hips and breasts under the soft fabric of her dress and her leather corset. One of my hand was still holding her hair, tightening my grip; the other one was clenched on her wrist, eager to finally reach that damn wand! Black curls were hiding half of her face, but the other half was pure anger. And there I was, lying onto her, speechless, unable to move for whatever reason, as if she was harmless and not just about to kill me; I couldn't help it, she was hypnotizing. Yes, she was mesmerizing, even – and maybe more – with that mad smile curling her lips.

A fist hitting my temple took me out of my trance. What was I doing? I had to run away, to help the others and avoid being killed; well with Bellatrix, death was the best I could hope for.

'I'm going to kill you! I SWEAR I WILL!'

Her piercing voice rang in my head when she rolled over and climbed on top of me, her broken nails drawing blood on every pore they touched. She had become physically violent now and seemed to want to punch every part of my body she had not hurt before by crushing herself onto me.

'STOP!' I was not going to beg for mercy but the cry escaped my lips unexpectedly.

Gathering all my strength and ignoring her resistance, I pulled her armed hand towards me until it was close enough to my face, and then I did something I had never imagined I would do. I bit her. My teeth plunged in the soft skin of her wrist, invading me of her scent – a mixture of leather, mint, red wine and something old, almost like ancient parchment or books; a surprisingly very attractive perfume. She grunted, probably more in anger than pain, only until I bit more fiercely and my teeth glided along something hard, displacing it. I shivered both at the feeling of my teeth hitting a bone and at the true cry of pain of Bellatrix – I bet the entire Ministry could hear it. No time to feel guilty. I grabbed her wand that she was now barely holding back as well as my own wand in her sleeve.

'Stupefy!'

The dark witch was thrown twenty meters away, landing on her back. I stood up and started running towards the others without turning back. The spell wouldn't keep her still for too long, she was way too powerful.

I turned left and faced my friends in a fight with five Death Eaters. Both sides were casting spells with equal strength and will, therefore it seemed like the fight would never stop. I joined the others, casting spells with my wand and with Bellatrix's. The latter responded well but seemed to resist me all the same.

'Hermione, you alright?' Neville asked as I cast a 'Reducto' next to him.

'Yes, but we have to get out of-!'

A scream interrupted me and made me want to leave this place even more.

'GIVE ME MY WAND YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD! WORTHLESS BRAT!'

 _Think Hermione, think!_ It was only a matter of seconds before Bellatrix emerged, and no one wanted to be there when she did. I took both wands in my right hand, pointing them at the Death Eaters.

'Incendio!'

With a flick of the wrist, an immense wall of flames erected between the enemies and us. That was indeed a very powerful wand!

'This way!' I grabbed Neville's arm and lead everyone in the closest alley. I didn't know where the door was but it should not be too far. We ran along one or two rows before we heard the swift sounds of flying Death Eaters.

'Hermione, right!' Harry shouted from behind me and I did as I was told.

When we turned, the door was there, only thirty feet away. And before it was Bellatrix. She was shaking with rage, I saw in her eyes that she would not hesitate to kill me; not so different from usual actually.

'Give. Me. My. WAND!'

'Let us go or I'll break the prophecy!' Harry threatened.

A maniacal laugh passed her lips.

'Like hell, you want to know what it says Potter, you're not going to break it!'

She wanted to sound confident but I heard a touch of anxiety. She was not absolutely sure of that, and having known Harry for years, I could say she was right to doubt.

'You would not want to risk that and disappoint Voldemort, would you?'

 _No Harry, very bad, don't tease her when she's in this state of insanity and carelessness_. Of course there were six – well, seven now – wands ready to hex her, but that would not stop her from attempting anything.

'HOW DARE YOU SPEAK HIS NAME?'

The sound of the other Death Eaters was closer now, there was no time for chatting! I glanced at the others, turned back to Bellatrix and threw her wand above us as high as I could. As I expected, the dark witch's eyes locked on her wand as if it was her baby, I took the opportunity, ran to the door and pushed her hard to the side. The others followed, though taking care to put their feet a good meter away from Bellatrix.

'Accio wand!' I heard her voice behind me.

The door opened itself on nothingness, my feet stumbled in the dark and I fell, constantly fell until I saw the ground under me.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

'Accio wand!'

The little brat had pushed me on the floor but my eyes managed to never lose my wand. It flew towards me and I caught it on the wing. Oh, it was so good to feel it again in my fingers! Her power shot through my nerves and I stood up, turning to the open door where they had disappeared.

'Are you _stupid_?'

I turned on the spot and came face to face with an angry Lucius walking to me, followed by the others. _He was angry?_ He didn't know how raging I was! I was already blaming myself for letting the teens slip between my fingers, I didn't need him to add his own scorn.

'Shut up Malfoy!' I slapped him hard on the cheek and he looked stunned; _you did not see that coming, huh?_ 'Tell me who was not able to defeat _teens_?'

He sighed. He was resisting the desire to punch me back. I turned back to the door and disappeared into smoke, letting myself fall in the darkness. Should I play with the muddy then? Longbottom could be fun also. Ha! Hard to choose.

* * *

 **Hermione**

'The voices…'

'Harry, there are no voices.' Harry was walking towards the arch in the center of the room, and even though it looked like any other arch, there was indeed something odd about it that made me want to stay away from it. 'Harry, we have to find a way out!'

The room had the same black marble floor and walls that covered the Department of Mysteries and no exit was visible. Or there was no exit and we were simply trapped, or maybe there was a way out but hidden somewhere along the dark walls.

'Lum-'

Darkness surrounded us. A surprised cry escaped me and strong arms captured me in a violent embrace, my feet left the solid ground and I realized I was sort of flying. Panic ran along my spine and only increased when I landed on the side of the circular room, a strong Death Eater holding my back against his chest, a hand around my neck and his wand pointing at my face; while I was wandless. All around the room Ron, Luna, and Ginny were in the same situation; horrified, I noticed a few steps next to me that Neville was held down by Bellatrix herself who seemed to take great pleasure in humiliating him. Harry was still close to the arch but Lucius had appeared right in front of him. We were on sorts of huge stones and therefore overhung the center of the room by at least ten feet.

'How could you think that children stood a chance against us?' Lucius mocked. 'Now, give me the prophecy Potter; or watch your friends die.'

Harry looked all around the room, despair in his eyes. Of course he didn't want to lose his friends, but he didn't want to give up the precious sphere of which he didn't know the true purpose and value.

'Don't give it to him Harry!' Neville shouted.

Bellatrix smiled and kicked his back, sending him on all fours before her.

'Come on Potter! You wouldn't want him to die, would you?'

She aimed her wand at Neville.

'Or to end up at St Mungo's with his stupid parents! CRUCIO!'

I could not close my eyes as Neville struggled on the ground, his cries echoing all over the room as well as _her_ laugh, her deadly, mad laugh.

'STOP'! Harry begged.

Lucius raised his hand and motioned for Bellatrix to stop. She sighed and released the cruciatus curse, leaving Neville painting heavily. Harry turned back to Lucius and reluctantly handed him the prophecy. It was lost, whatever was in that sphere now belonged to Voldemort, as powerful as it could be. Not knowing what is actually was – that was the most frustrating.

'Now release them.' Harry ordered with confidence.

But Lucius was not listening, he seemed to be lost in the admiration of the glass sphere which had turned pitch black and from which whispers were emerging. I turned to Neville lying on his stomach, Bellatrix's foot pushing on his lower back.

'What?' She asked, offended. 'You didn't get enough back then?'

My eyes locked on hers as she stepped over Neville, hopped joyfully to me, grabbed my hair and yanked my head backwards. My hands were stuck, I had no wand, and spitting in her face was not the best idea; I was at her mercy.

'Let me play with her Dolohov.' She smirked. 'And look after the boy.'

The said Death Eater released me and pushed me directly into Bellatrix's arms, who pushed me down on my knees, simultaneously crouching in front of me. I couldn't stand being pushed down all the time! From the corner of my eye, Harry and Lucius had not moved an inch; however, Ginny, Ron and Luna's eyes were all worriedly stuck on the dark witch in front of me.

'You thought you could disrespect me!' Her loud, piercing voice made me jumpe. 'Forgot your place, huh? *her wand trailed along my features, going down along my jaw and throat and I closed my eyes* You thought you could just take my precious wand? That I would not mind? *the wood scratched my collarbone* You're a worthless! Stupid! USELESS MUDBLOOD!'

Tears rolled down my cheeks while I tried to contain my sobs. I had always feared and hated being yelled at for doing something wrong; but there it was far worst because I had done nothing, all she gave me was insults. I did not deserve it, it was unfair, why me? All of this because of my blood? The selfish thought of wanting her to hurt someone else than me crossed my mind and made me feel even worst. Her nails scratched my scalp when she held my hair tighter. The tip of her wand was burning my collarbone and continued slowly going down to my chest. She was still screaming at me but what she was saying I had not a clue; words were passing over me and didn't get to my brain, it was just a mass of unintelligible cries.

'LET HER GO!'

'DON'T TOUCH HER!'

Harry and Ron had shouted simultaneously. I opened my eyes and could not avoid her own, piercing through my skull as if to reach my soul, burning with rage. She cocked her head and started laughing madly.

'Let her go?' She wondered, looking up. 'Why not?'

She stood up, looked down at me and pushed me on the side. I fell head first down the stone and landed ten feet below, my head hitting the ground and making me cry out. The pain shot through my skull, spreading to my temple, my nape, shoulders and even down my spine; my eyes went blind, my breath caught up in my throat, my body unable to move.

I don't know how long I stayed unconscious, but when I opened my eyes, Nymphadora was leaning over me.

'Hermione, are you alright?' She urged me.

I nodded slightly. My ears were still ringing a bit and my mouth was dry but-

'Nymph, what are you doing here?'

She smiled and helped me sit down. Around us, flashes of light appeared from time to time, and suddenly I could hear clearly again. The battle. The others were fighting, I had to help them. We were hidden behind the great stones with Ginny and Luna who both looked absolutely frightened.

'We arrived to save you.' Nymph answered. 'Kingsley, Remus, Mad-Eye and Sirius are fighting the Death Eaters with Harry, but you must stay here!'

Harry, he was in danger! I had to help, I couldn't just stay here! I had to go but-

'My wand?'

Nymph handed me my wand with a smile.

'We couldn't get Ginny and Ron's wands back but hopefully we'll be able to get them when its finished.'

'Nymphadora, I have to help them!' I stated while standing up without waiting for an answer.

'No Hermione, you cannot go!'

I ignored her and ran to a passage throught the stones and, remaining half-hidden, tried to see Harry. He had the prophecy! He was fighting with Sirius against Malfoy, but a Death Eater stood not far from him and was aiming at him.

'Stupefy!'

My spell hit the Death Eater right in the chest and he fell backwards. As I was about to emerge into the room, I caught a black dress flying above my head and landing a few meters before me, stopping me on the spot. Bellatrix pointed her wand at Sirius, her back to me. It was a cowardly act to hex a witch behind her back, but at this point, I had no concern for such a futile thought. I raised my wand and aimed at Bellatrix. I opened my mouth to cast a 'stupefy'-

'AVADRA KEDAVRA!'

\- and let it hung open for what seemed hours.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

Silence fell on the room as the ghost of a smile crossed Sirius' face. The smile I wore, however, was all but a ghost. Sirius fell backwards and his body passed under the Death Arch and disappeared. Shock stopped everyone in the room, all eyes were on Harry and where Sirius had been battling just seconds before.

'NO! HE'S-NOT-DEAD!'

I had to get that prophecy now, just because Lucius had been stupid enough to let the boy take it back. I ran to the half-hidden exit in the wall; plan: attract Potter far from his friends, get the prophecy and kill him.

'Stupefy!'

My silent 'protego' protected me from Kingsley's spell and I responded by a 'reducto' that sent him on his back with a grunt of pain. I hurried to the passage in the dark marble and ran into the darkness.

'SHE KILLED SIRIUS! I'LL KILL HER!'

Follow me Potter, come on. I ran along a dark, grand hall and caught sight of three doors at the end of it. The one on the right lead to the Hall of the Ministry, perfect, this way I could bring him far from the Ministry, using the Floo network. Behind me, footsteps were quickly catching up, and I could hear Potter's grunts of rage. I burst into the huge empty Hall, right in front of the fountain and turned left towards the fireplaces. I turned back and faced Potter sprinting towards me and silently stupefied him. He ducked and hid behind the fountain. I stopped, slightly out of breath and took a few slow steps towards his stash.

'Come out, come out, little Harry!' I mocked with a childish voice. 'I thought you had come to avenge my _dear_ cousin.'

'I am!'

'Oh, you _loved_ him didn't you?' I laughed.

How pathetic.

'Crucio!'

I screamed as the red light hit my chest and knocked me off my feet. I fell on my back but easily stood back up; the curse had not caused any pain. I grinned.

'Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy? You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain — to enjoy it — righteous anger won't hurt me for long — I'll show you how it is done, shall I? I'll give you a lesson! CRUCIO!'

The curse hit the statue and a big piece of it fell down on the other side of the fountain, where he was hiding.

'Give me the prophecy Potter! And I shall let you live!' I commanded. 'Maybe' I whispered to myself.

He laughed. I frowned in surprise at the hearing of such an unfamiliar sound he was not supposed to produce when fighting a Death Eater, let alone me. I managed to come closer to the statue and was now only a few steps away from where he was hiding.

'I will never give it to you!'

'Then I shall take it myself!'

I turned to the side of the statue and, just as I had imagined, ran into him and caught him by surprise. I pushed my elbow – and all my weight with it – in his ribs and reached out for the sphere in his hand.

'NO!' He shouted just in my ear.

The sphere rolled out of our hands and on the floor to the door we had come from. I violently pushed the struggling boy behind me and ran to the sphere as fast as I could. It was all I needed to satisfy Him, I could not deceive Him. My fingers brushed the cool surface of the glass and-

'Confringo!'

The sphere shattered before my bewildered eyes, the strength of the explosion throwing me ten meters behind. It was lost.

'NO!' I cried desperately.

The redhead traitor boy's wand was still twitching from the powerful spell he had just cast, the mudblood was staring at me like a prey cornered by a wolf, and Potter was burning with rage. He really did want to kill me, didn't he?

'Lost.' He coldly stated. 'Voldemort will not be happy.'

'HOW DARE YOU-?' I stopped; I could hear His voice.

Whispers resounded around us. _He had arrived_. I jumped on my feet and looked all around me.

'MASTER I TRIED, I TRIED! DO NOT PUNISH ME!'

'Don't waste your breath!' Harry mocked. 'He can't hear you from here.'

'Can't I, Potter?'

* * *

 **Hermione**

For the first time ever, she was weak. Bowing before her master as if she was nothing. Her voice was desperate, longing for attention and affection; she could be mistaken for a child. I surprised myself pitying her.

I was staying against the wall with Ron – and all the others joined us afterwards – during the battle between Dumbledore and Voldemort. He was terrifying. His slender body enwrapped in an immense robe, his head a bare skull with a snake-like nose; he was Evil itself.

The entire battle seemed distant; my head was like stuck in a bubble preventing any noise to invade my mind. The only think I heard was the rumbling of my thoughts; all I saw was Bellatrix trying to free herself from the huge moving statue pining her to the floor. I had only eyes for her, and yet I didn't really know why. She was bad, she had just killed Sirius! I hated her, I had to…

Suddenly, a spell – most likely Voldemort's – hit the moving statue that exploded, sending heavy pieces of stone flying across the room.

'Watch out!'

Ron pulled me down protectively and I cast a 'protego' before us.

'DON'T LET HER ESCAPE!'

 _Her_? There was only one 'her' that had to be stopped. I jumped on my feet and looked at where Bellatrix had been lying only seconds before but found the spot empty. Turning around, I caught her running to Voldemort and stopping a short distance behind him. She turned to me and all the Aurors next to me about to hex her; she was much faster than they were.

'Obscuro!'

A heavy fog circled us, having us blind and coughing. I closed my watery eyes and felt a tickling feeling in my chest as I opened them again. I crossed Bellatrix's eyes. The smile she gave me was pure evil and-

 **\- gorgeous, She was gorgeous. Her dark eyes shining with joy, black curls floating on Her shoulders and a seductive pose; She was perfect. I heard Her voice in my head, saying how She was superior to me, that I had to obey Her every desire; but also how much She loved me, how special I was. I needed to be with Her, to love Her, to protect Her.**

 **My legs took a few steps towards Her but stopped when I saw Ron and some Aurors beside me raise their wand to hex Her. My body turned to them and my voice caught me off guard as the first spells were cast at Her.**

 **'NO! INCENDIO!'**

 **The same wall of flames I had erected earlier now appeared between Her and the Aurors, stopping all of their spells and protecting Her from any harm. When the wall vanished, the last image I caught of Her was Her smiling and hysterically laughing at me, Voldemort grabbing her arm and disapparating in a loud 'pop'. I had saved Her, She was thankful, She-**

\- hated me, she had treated me like trash, what had just happened?

My wand fell on the floor as I stared at where Bellatrix had disapparated, absolutely lost. Panic invaded me: I had helped a Death Eater escape, I had betrayed the Order. But why and how? It was not me! A hand brutally grabbed my arm and I faced Ron.

'WHAT JUST WENT THROUGH YOUR HEAD HERMIONE!?'

I stared at him blankly, incapable of forming coherent thoughts. Why, indeed?

'I-I…'

'YOU HELPED HER ESCAPE! A DEATH EATER! SHE KILLED SIRIUS HOW COULD YOU?!'

None of them was wondering 'how'? I mean, it was not me, it couldn't have been me!

'Ron, calm down plea-' Nymph placed a hand on his shoulder but he almost pushed her away.

My head was aching; there was too much noise, agitation and anger around me. My senses were all lost and I felt the exhaustion of the day overwhelming me.

'Hermione, are you alright?' Luna held my arm.

'I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!' Ron was still shouting after me.

'Ron, please, she's not well!' Remus interfered.

' _I DON'T CARE_! SHE BETRAYED US!'

My knees gave out and I fell on the floor, tears rolling down my cheeks, gasping and sobbing.

'We have to take Miss Granger to Madam Pomfrey.' Dumbledore voice calmly advised.

Nymph and Luna helped me stand up and we all disapparated to Hogwarts. I could not ignore Harry and Ron's angry stares when we left the Ministry.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

I bowed to my Lord once more, expecting another wave of pain. Lucius was shaking beside me, the coward!

'Teenagers!' My Lord's voice made me shiver. 'Only teenagers and still you fail! CRUCIO!'

Lucius cried out and fell to the floor again, struggling and screaming.

'I TRIED MASTER! I AM SORRY!'

His voice was weak and empty of any pride. _I_ was not lowering myself to such levels; or was I?

'Leave Bella. I'm done with you.'

I nodded and walked to the door beside Him.

'Wait.'

I turned to Him.

'My Lord?' I asked softly.

'I will not be so forgiving next time. Is that clear?' He hissed.

'Yes, my Lord.' I whispered, staring at His red irises.

When dawn rose the next day, Lucius' screams had barely faded.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	6. I Hate Everything About You

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

This chapter is pretty short I know, but I think it is better that way.

I currently don't have a lot of time to write but there will probably be another chapter next week, I'm not sure yet. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 6: I Hate Everything About You

'Hermione?' A soft female voice brushed my ear.

I mumbled, half-conscious. No, I wanted to sleep more, to stay in this little warm nest and burry my face in the softness of the pillow. There was no sound, silence reigned in the room and all I could hear was my slow breathing.

'Hermione, wake up. Breakfast is ready.'

I opened my eyes and crossed Ginny's. A genuine smile brightened her face but I could see that she was worried. Behind her, tapestries covered the walls of the room and it took me several seconds to realize we were at Grimmauld Place. Weren't we supposed to be at Hogwarts? How long had I slept?

'Why are we here?'

'Dumbledore thought it was better for you to stay here for a few days before returning to Hogwarts.' Ginny placed a hand on my shoulder.

I tried to remember what had happened but it was as if a thick fog was wrapped around my memories, feelings and sounds blurred into a mass of misunderstanding. Confusion must have been visible on my face because Ginny stood up and walked to the door.

'I let you dress up, come down when you're ready.'

She closed the door behind her. I sighed. My head was aching, the light from the window was blinding me, my limbs were heavy and I felt more exhausted than ever. I didn't want to go downstairs and face the others, especially Ron. He had been so angry and almost uncontrollable in the Ministry. But he was right, I had betrayed them by saving Bellatrix.

'But why?' I wondered.

It was a hard task to think about all this again, it was bringing up so much feelings I had tried to forget.

During my second year at Hogwarts, I started to feel that I was different from the other girls. When they were all gossiping about boys, I found no interest in joigning them on the subject. Of course, I first thought it was because I found it was futile and childish, but it turned out it was not the only reason. It clearly appeared to me during the summer before my third year. I spent the holidays at the Burrow and slept in Ginny's room. Our friendship grew, we were getting closer and closer. But one night, when I could not sleep, I surprised myself staring at her, and the first tought that came to my mind was how beautiful and perfect she was. I tried to forget this, but it was impossible to deny the truth: I loved her. It hit me like a bomb and took me three days to fully understand what it implied. I was understanding why I did not feel as close to Ron as I was before, why I felt weird being around girls in the showers, why I cared so much about Ginny. She had been my first 'crush' – I hated this word but that was truly what she had been to me – and it had been hard to take when she had told me about her feelings for Harry. As a good friend, I adviced her, told her to be more confident and to talk with him; but inside, I wanted to tell her how I felt, to show her I loved her. I did not because I knew she did not feel the same way, she never suspected anything for that matter.

But Ginny was ancient history, I had gotten over it and focused on my studies, therefore not allowing myself to think of anything else. I had not told Harry and Ron – especially Ron because I knew he really liked me and I didn't want to break his heart, but maybe not telling him and giving him hope was not the best solution – nor anyone else, not even my parents. Well, I did not need to tell anyone, but it was a heavy weight on my shoulders, a burden I forced myself to carry alone while I wished to share it with my friends. It broke my heart everytime the 'boys' subject came up because I had nothing to say except that I had not found the right one yet.

I had nothing to be ashamed of, I knew it deep down, but a part of me was convinced it was not a good idea to tell my friends.

I pushed the covers away and sat on the bed, staring blankly at the bed sheets. There was coming the true problem: _Bellatrix_. Now, trying to put things back together.

At the Ministry, I was seeing her for the first time, and barely knew about her. All I knew was that she had tortured Neville's parents to insanity, killed many Aurors and that she had been imprisoned in Azkaban for fourteen years. With so few and so biased information, and with only a photograph in the Daily Prophet where she looked awful, I had pictured a cruel, sadistic, insane witch, skilled and madly devoted to Voldemort. I was completely true.

However, I was in shock when I saw her sensually step towards us next to Lucius. She was indeed mad and cruel, her hair were wild and her face emaciated; but she was _beautiful_. It sounded so ridiculous! She was a Death Eater, I hated her! Still, my hatred towards her seemed to vanish when our eyes briefly met, when I saw the curve of her lips. Those thoughts crossed my mind in an instant, and the next second I was shaking my head and shouting myself to shut up; she may be beautiful but she remained extremely dangerous.

There was something with her, she represented so much more than a cruel witch! She was the symbol of freedom I had never found before, and now there she was, exposing her liberated and careless self to my eyes longing for such a treasure.

Physically speaking, she was nothing like what I had expected, nor nothing like what I had ever known before. Small, sharp jaw, curved hips, slender hands, boots clattering on the stone floor, eyes as dark as night, as dark as her wild, black mane running in the curve of her lower back. A striking beauty that left me speechless.

Physical contacts only made things worst, for I had never touched a woman in such an intimate way, when I was lying on top of her on the floor.

'But _I hate her_ , she's cruel, merciless, _heartless_!'

Indeed, I did not love her or felt any affection towards her, but only physical attraction – was it even any reassuring? It was her like it had been Ginny before and like it could have been anyone else! But even physical attraction felt wrong to me, and I felt sick simply imagining kissing her. I definitely was not falling for her, now why did I save her?

I stood and dressed up, her face never leaving my thoughts. I was about to put my jumper on when I froze. Droplets of blood stained one of the sleeves and it was torn in several places; she was an animal! I brought the fabric to my nose and inhaled deeply. Blood, sweat, but above all mint, wine and parchment. Her scent, her delicate and _extremely attractive_ scent. Eyes closed, I dived into the soft fabric.

' _MUDBLOOD!'_

My eyes burst open and I threw my jumper on the floor as I heard her laughter penetrate my every bones. It was just in my head, just a memory.

'See Hermione? That's what she is, evil.' I told myself.

Glancing one last time at the clothing on the floor I opened the door and walked down the stairs. The whole house was shrouded in darkness, only lit up here an there by small candles on the walls. The tapestries only added dread to the already gloomy atmosphere and I found myself shivering more than once. Reaching the second floor, a flickering light on the left caught my attention. I turned to the dark corridor in which I had never walked before, Sirius had forbidden it. I sighed heavily at the memory of Harry's godfather, I missed him. Well, another obvious reason to hate Bellatrix.

I took a step towards the first door on the right and my eyes narrowed to read the blurred name on it: Regulus Arcturus Black. Sirius' brother. I glanced at the door next to the first one. On this one the name had been scratched, which made it obvious it was Sirius' bedroom. There were four other rooms, one was Sirius' parents', just in front of their children's, then farther in the dark was a room with no name, which was empty apart from a large bed and a dusty desk. Opposite to this one was a neatly decorated door, swirls and dark roses covering the light wood. My eyes widened when I saw the names carved on the door: Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Why did they have a room in the Black's house? Maybe they had come to visit sometimes.

I faced the last door, a black wooden door with no handle. Green swirls similar to those on the Malfoy's door had been drawn and a snake adorned the edges of the door, his slender body entangling in the center. I lost my breath, my heartbeat quickened and I held a shaking hand a mere inch away from the wood. I could feel magic, dark magic coming from the room. Hesitantly, I placed the palm of my hand on the door to open it but removed it almost immediately. A shiver ran down my spine, like electricity. Magic was required to open it, _how surprising_. A voice was heard from downstairs just as I drew my wand.

'Hermione?'

I jumped and turned on the spot.

'I-I'm coming!'

Glancing one last time at the door, I put my wand back in my pocket and walked to the stairs. As I exited the corridor, the flickering candle went out. But I needed no light to distinguish the shining golden letters carved on the last door:

Bellatrix Andromeda and Narcissa Black.

* * *

The breakfast was horrible, awkward. Nobody spoke, yet everybody was thinking the same; this made me only more uncomfortable. I just wanted to stand up and leave, run away from the tension Molly tried to lift from the kitchen. Their eyes all avoided mine, except for Ron and Harry who glanced at me from the other end of the table. Unlike everybody else, the boys looked angry and ready to shake me and tell me how crazy I was.

Once we were all finished, Molly brought mugs and the smell of tea embalmed the air; mint tea. I closed my eyes and lightly shook my head to drive away Bellatrix's devilish smile from my mind.

'Well.'

I looked up at the sound of Molly's voice and faced ten pairs of questioning eyes. Kingsley, Nymphadora, Remus, Molly, Fred, George, Arthur, Ron, Ginny, and Harry were peering at me. I blushed and stared at my hands playing with each other on the table. I didn't know what to tell them.

'Hermione, could you explain us why you helped Bellatrix Lestrange escape the Ministry?'

Kingsley's voice had been soft, he was trying not to be too urgent. I relaxed a bit and took a deep breath.

'Why you betrayed us.' Ron's voice had been barely audible.

'Ronald!' Molly scolded.

I tried to ignore Ron's piercing stare and instead focused on Kinglsey.

'I-I don't really know. I mean, I hate her and-'

'She killed Sirius.' Harry interrupted harshly.

I looked at him desperately.

'I know Harry, I'm sorry! It's just- I don't know why.'

'Hermione she tortured you!' Ron exploded, 'She cursed Ginny and Neville! She hurt YOU!'

'I KNOW RON!'

'THEN WHY DID YOU HELP HER?!'

'SILENCE!'

Remus stood up and angrily looked at both of us.

'Ron, let Hermione explain herself. Considering what she's been through, I can hardly imagine she willingly helped Bellatrix.'

Ron looked surprised and grunted. Was it possible that…? Remus sat down and looked at me.

'Hermione, what happened exactly when we fought Bellatrix?'

'You think…?' I hesitated, not believing what he was implying, 'You think she Imperiused me?'

Remus nodded and everyone around the table seemed to suddenly relax. Indeed, if I had been Imperiused there was no question of betrayal anymore. Though, I believed most of them did not really believe I had betrayed them.

'Well, she made this thick fog appear around us, and when it disappeared and I crossed her eyes, I felt…different.'

'What do you mean exactly by 'different'?' Nymphadora eagerly asked.

I tried to remember exactly what I had felt in that moment.

'I-I felt not really myself anymore, I mean I was still myself but I wanted to save her, I did not hate her anymore, I could hear her voice and I felt surprisingly well, relaxed as if-'

'You heard her voice?' Remus interrupted, 'She was talking to you?'

I messed up, why did I say that? Oh, I have been so stupid, what were they going to think now? I nodded shyly. Remus looked worried.

'Hermione, an Imperius Curse doesn't require the caster to speak to be obeyed, in fact it is very risky for othe caster to mentally talk to the Imperiused one because if what you tell them doesn't rely on what they usually think, the curse can be broken.'

It took me several seconds to understand. When I did, my heart stopped. What Bellatrix had told me, what I had heard in my head was actually what I thought, what I believed. No it was not possible, I did not love her! I knew it!

'What I mean is that she told you things you already believed, or at least it was not wrong enough to you, which made you obey her. I don't want to be too hasty in drawing conclusions, but we have to consider the fact that she may have been able to read your mind, and that she maybe still can.'

Silence fell in the kitchen, and the atmosphere became even more tensed than it had been before. Air struggled to fill my lungs. She had read my mind? Really? I would have known it…

'What did she tell you?' Harry's angry voice took me out of my daydreaming.

I stared at him, confused. What to say? I could not tell them what I had heard, they would think I was crazy. A tear rolled on my cheek.

'Harry, please-' I begged.

'What words coming from her could you believe?!'

He had stood up and was shaking with anger, his eyes narrowed and shining with tears. He was mad at me for having believed her, _her_ who had killed Sirius. But I could not tell the truth, it would hurt him and they would think I loved her, but I did not! _Her_ face came before my eyes, her mischievous smile and piercing eyes hovering before Harry's face. On my right, Nymph placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered something but I did not hear her. I stood up and faced Harry, tears rolling uncontrollably on my cheeks.

'She told me I was NOTHING! WORTHLESS! You are happy?' The lies were coming easily, and my sobs covered my unsteady voice. 'She did not have to read my mind to know I would believe it! That's all she ever told me! I HATE HER HARRY! AS MUCH AS YOU HATE HER!'

I stopped to catch my breath and saw Harry's face soften.

'The only word she had for me was 'mudblood'! Would she carve it on my skin, it would never be as humiliating as this moment when I heard it and believed it!'

Unable to look at them, I exited the kitchen and ran up the stairs, wiping my tears and sobbing. I felt guilty for lying to them, my friends. When I reached the dark corridor, I slowed down and glanced at the last door. How could I still think about her? I was disgusting.

'Hermione?'

I ignored Nymp's call and ran up to my room, violently closed the door and threw myself on my bed. Head in my pillow, I let it all out, all the fear, guilt, sadness and hated. I cried all my tears and swore to never ever think about _her_ again, no matter how hard it would be.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	7. Nothing Ever Changes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

This chapter might seem slightly not coherent sometimes (especially at the end), because I removed a part that didn't fit in the story anymore.

* * *

CHAPTER 7: Nothing Ever Changes

Mid-July

It had been three or four weeks since we had lost the prophecy and the Dark Lord appeared to have moved on. 'Forgiven' was not the right word for he would never forgive us our mistake, but he had overcome his anger. I had been staying at home almost everyday; he would only give me a few missions, no great interest and boring. But it was my punishment and I deserved it, I knew I did. If I had been cleverer and if that blood traitor had not destroyed the prophecy!

I put my book down and stared at the neatly decorated ceiling, my fingers tracing absentmindedly the carved letters on the cover. ' _The Dark Arts and Wandless Magic'_. I had read it so many times, and still the spine was flawless; I hated damaged books. A leg over the armrest, I laid down on the couch, my head resting on the other armrest, a foot dangling above the floor. Everything was quiet, the whistle of the wind outside and the flickering candles on the chandelier. The only – annoying – sound indicating Rodolphus' presence in the library was the flipping pages; he was reading the Daily Prophet I thought. After the little skirmish at the Ministry, war had officially been declared, now that everybody knew the Dark Lord was back, and there were more and more Aurors searching for all of us. It was so annoying not to be able to wander in Diagon Alley and torture a wizard here and there! I needed screams, entertainment and blood.

I wished I could have the Longbottom stupid boy to play with. He had been fun, squirming like his parents, not like the red-haired girl, she had just been boring. There was something about him, something about knowing he was suffering the same way his parents had fifteen years ago, that made him more fun to hurt. The mudblood had been fun also, actually resisting me. In a way, I liked people who resisted because most people didn't, they assumed I was too powerful and that they did not stood a chance against me. Of course, they were true, but then it was almost too simple. The Granger girl was brave – stupid but brave – and had actually surprised me by biting me so hard. I usually never had physical contact with my preys; I loved to contemplate the pain of the Cruciatus Curse from a distance, simply because the view was better. But truly fighting her had been a completely different and very strange experience. I had found a strength I did not know I possessed, I had pinned her to the floor as if she had just been a rag doll scared to the bones by meeting my eyes. I had felt in utter control of her being. And in that moment, laying on top of her, I had watched inside her, felt what she had felt, seen what she had seen mere minutes before. The way she had watched me, the mixed feelings that had crossed her mind. She desired me! How uncommon. Fear and hatred was my daily lot, but desire… It had just made me laugh. Stupid little mudblood. I would have not shown her any mercy, she had probably forgotten that. And it made me feel sick, that worthless thing desiring a witch, a woman on top of that! It was flattering, true, but she was just as nothing as anyone else.

However, this needless to say, surprising feeling had been quite useful. What a pleasure it had been to see that look of confusion on her face when I had ordered her to let me escape, when I whispered those lies in her silly little head, telling her she was mine, making her believe I actually loved her! Only a fool could have believed this. The Imperius Curse had vanished the moment we had disapparated, but there still existed a connection between our minds, thanks to my occlumency skills. I had managed to create a bond between us, similar – yet weaker – to the one the Dark Lord maintained between His mind and Potter's. A bond allowing me to infiltrate her head and read whatever there was to see, to make her believe whatever I wanted.

The Dark Lord had acknowledged my prowess with true surprise, but had ordered me not to use it for now; it would be useful when the time comes but it had to stay hidden, no one from the Order had to know it, even Draco was ignorant of this.

'Can you stop muttering, I'm trying to read.'

I snorted and grinned at him.

'Tell me it's interesting.' I mocked.

I stood up and brushed off my dress, taking a look around the room for something to do. Except setting Rod's newspaper on fire, there was nothing really interesting.

'It is.' He replied, vexed. 'And there is an article about you.'

'Great! I shall send them an owl to thank them.' I spat.

I picked up the book and made it fly to its place on the shelf. I needed exercice. Now.

'MERRY!'

Seconds passed, and still the elf did not appear. I frowned and sighed angrily. It was going to regret having me waiting.

'VIOLA!'

The recognizable 'pop' sound was heard barely a second after, the weak creature standing on the threshold, staring at its feet and shaking.

'Where's Merry?'

'You killed it last week.' Rod stated.

I turned to him, surprised.

'Really? Shame, buy me another one. Now.'

I turned back to Viola and pushed it in the corridor. It wobbled on its feet and almost fell down, but it knew I hated when it was falling down. I was about to push it further when Rod's voice stopped me.

'Bella, stop killing all our house-elves, make them last at least a month.'

'Shut up Rod, you're annoying me. And don't you ever call me _Bella_.'

'It doesn't bother you when the Dark Lord does.'

Oh, that was too much. I peered at him with wide eyes and pointed my wand at him. Flames burst out of its tip and licked at the newspaper, burning it to ashes in an instant. The look he gave me was of pure indifference and I suddenly had to resist the urge to kill him on the spot.

'Dare say that again, and I'll skin you. I'll kill you with my bare hands.'

I slammed the door behind me.

'Go on! WALK!'

I kicked Viola along the corridor until we reached the stairs leading to the drawing room.

'Down.'

Viola hopped down the stairs, keeping a good distance between us. It was so slow!

'FASTER!'

I clenched my fists and kicked it hard on its back, sending it violently at the bottom of the stairs. It whined but stood back up immediately, avoiding my eyes and bowing with fear. Finally, some fun. I pushed it before me to the living room and slammed the door.

'Mistress, there is-'

'Shut up!'

I raised my wand and traced a line in the air, a few steps away from Viola. It shrieked as a long cut was carved on its back. I was slowly circling around it, listing all the possibilities of entertainment. Burning, torturing, cutting…

'So many options.' I whispered.

I felt rage burning inside me and I needed it out, it was driving me crazy! I was mad because He had pushed me aside because I had failed, but it was not my fault!

'IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!' The Cruciatus curse hit it and sent it ten meters away to squirm on the floor.

I had tried my best, Lucius was at fault, _he_ had not been able to handle them, I would have succeeded without him! I was better than him!

'BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM!'

I was barely conscious of my sharp nails clawing at my palm and the blood dripping down my wrist, my mind was away, far away from reality. It was lost in the maze of madness where I sometimes could not even make the difference between what was real and what was not. Only its cries reminded me of where I was.

I was, and had always been, His most loyal servant, I had given everything for Him, given _my_ _own life_! He had completely trusted me during ten years, and when He had come back, He had shown me the same respect as before. Even at the Ministry, _I_ had been the one to leave with Him, He had not left me behind. I was His best soldier!

'CRUCIO!'

And all because of Lucius, I suddenly felt like I was nothing more than any other Death Eater; all of this because _he had failed!_ And Snape, Snape was a traitor, a liar, and he was taking my place! But he was not with us, he was with Potter I was sure about it. Yet the Dark Lord trusted him. Why? The Dark Lord was mistaken.

'WHY HIM? _I_ WAS ALWAYS THERE!'

I released the curse and panted heavily. What could I do? I needed to gain His trust, I needed Him to trust me, I _desperately_ needed. I could—yes, I could do that. I cackled hysterically and hopped towards the shaking, ugly creature bleeding on the floor. But it was not Viola anymore; it was Snape lying at my feet, a horrified look on his face, begging me to stop.

'You want me to stop?' I pouted. 'I'm not going to stop. You stole my place!'

He tried to get up but I kicked him down, earning a grunt of pain.

'I'm going to kill you!' I sang in a high-pitched voice. 'I've wanted this for so long. Ahah! I won, and you, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!'

'Now, I understand why there was no one to open the door.'

My eyes widened; this voice, this horribly low voice. I faced Snape on the threshold and frowned.

'What are _you_ doing here?' I hissed. 'GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!'

He raised an eyebrow and slowly walked to me, glancing at Viola.

'The Dark Lord sent me. I had to speak with your husband.'

I snorted at the term and frowned.

'You did?'

'Not yet.'

'Then go!'

I gestured to the door but he did not move an inch. I focused on the bleeding Snape at my feet and absentmindedly cut lines and curves on his arms and chest, blood constantly flowing down on the carpet.

'Stop playing with your food, Bellatrix. The Dark Lord requests your presence.'

I laughed and bared my teeth.

'And why would He send _you_ to tell me this? You're His little puppet now, are you?' I mocked.

He had stopped a few steps away from me and his eyes were fixed on the bloody agonizing creature behind me. If he wanted it, he could just say it.

'I thought you were.'

'CRUCIO!' The curse aimed right at his chest.

'Protego!'

My spell vanished into Snape's shield but I did not lower my wand. He was really getting on my nerves.

'One of those days, you'll end up just. Like. _That_.' I whispered, pointing at the dead elf.

I erupted in laughter and disapparated, his impassive eyes fixed on me.

* * *

I apparated at the gates of the Riddle house, the Dark Lord's hideout for now. It was a small manor, a rectangle building with a tower on each side and dusty windows. All these years had not damaged its grandeur. I raised my hand as I approached the iron gates, flicked my wand and passed through the metal turned into ashes. I didn't know what to expect, who would be there and why I was summoned, but an unexplicable thrill made its way to my stomach and I felt strangely sick at the idea of facing the Dark Lord. After all, he had still not forgiven me.

I pushed the heavy door and entered the dark living room. McNair and Rabastan stood near the fireplace and gestured me to go upstairs. I climbed the narrow stairs and turned left to the drawing room. The door was closed but it opened right before I could knock, and I discovered the Dark Lord, Lucius, Cissy and Draco sitting around a long wooden table.

'Come Bellatrix.' He gently ordered.

His eyes remained on me while I walked to the table. With Cissy and Draco sitting on His left, the only remaining sit was on His right, between Him and Lucius. I reluctantly took the offered sit but managed to stay as far from Lucius as possible; I had to control myself or he would end up dead within a minute.

'I summoned you because I have a very special mission for one of you, and I shall need your help.'

I eagerly stared at him, wishing for me to be _the one_. I needed a mission, something to do, anything! I couldn't stand staying at home anymore. And succeeding would maybe allow me his forgiveness. Cissy anxiously glanced at Draco, the latter swallowing with difficulty.

'Draco.'

I clicked my tongue in disappointment. Cissy wrapped an arm around her son's shoulders and unconsciously pulled him closer to her.

'My Lord.' She whispered.

The Dark Lord raised his hand to silence her and looked at her with a gentle smile. The atmosphere was tense. Cissy was worried, Draco was scared and quite reluctant, I was disappointed and Lucius… I don't know, he just seemed to be honored, good for him.

'I have thought about a plan to enter Hogwarts, and it will require your help during the school year, Draco.'

Draco nodded, expecting the worst to come.

'I will need you to send owls regularly to your parents to share information. In return, they will send you my orders. Bellatrix and Lucius, you'll be in charge – with the others – to train Draco.'

Silence fell in the room as everyone realized their role. Training Draco was not what I had expected, but it could be interesting, almost fun, to see what he was capable of. Having to work with Lucius was going to be a pain in the ass but-

'Yes my Lord.' I answered.

'Excellent. Your training will begin tomorrow.'

He stood up and we all followed, bowing respectfully.

* * *

'How was it?'

You had to be kidding me! Loosely sitting on _my_ couch, Snape had turned to me when I had entered the library. He was still discussing with Rod who did not even look up. I really did not want to fight with them, I just wanted to sleep until the next day. So I stopped in my tracks and headed back to the door.

'Going to bed, don't you dare join me, Rod.'

'It's only five, what about dinner?'

Dinner? He was going to eat alone, that was about it!

'Piss off!'

I slammed the door and climbed up the stairs to the third floor. I stopped for a few minutes in the bathroom to stare at my own reflection. I looked awful, tired; as usual I could say. I grabbed my hairbrush and walked to my room. The curtains had been drawn and I found myself wandering around aimlessly in the darkness. I had this horrible feeling of emptiness, no coherent thought could make its way to my confused brain, and I wanted to do so much, and at the same so few. I wished I could just lay on my bed for days and do nothing but stare at the stars; no fighting, no screaming, no thinking. Yet, I wanted to leave and search for traitors and kill them one by one, I wanted to spend days and nights burning buildings to the ground! And here I was, tiptoeing and hopping around my room, giggling like a child.

'How ironic…' I hissed.

I threw myself on my bed and sat cross-legged on the soft sheets. I brushed my tangled curls, again and again.

 _When weary with the long day's care,_

 _And earthly change from pain to pain,_

 _And lost and ready to despair,_

 _Thy kind voice calls me back again:_

 _Oh, my true friend! I am not lone,_

 _While thou canst speak with such a tone!_

 _What matters it, that, all around,_

 _Danger, and guilt, and darkness lie,_

 _If but within our bosom's bound_

 _We hold a bright, untroubled sky,_

 _Warm with ten thousand mingled rays_

 _Of suns that know no winter days?_

The lines turned in my head, a souvenir of the past, of my years in Hogwarts. A girl I hated had written it one day and I had burnt it in class, telling her it was horrible. What I had not tell her was that I had copied it before, and had read it every night for more than a month. I had fallen for the words I found were wonderfully placed together, they created a harmony I had made mine; they reflected me. It was hard to say how, because I had never felt depressed, desperate or any of those, and still it _told_ me something. A dark witch fond of bright words, what worst could happen!

I put the brush aside and leaned back on the pillows, unlacing my corset. I remembered Cissy's face when He had given Draco his mission: worry and fear. It was funny to notice how Lucius had not felt worry at all, almost as if he didn't care about his son. On the other hand, Cissy should have felt honored too, Draco had a huge responsibility, though we did not really know what he had to do except for letting us in Hogwarts. I closed my eyes and the memory played itself once again.

 _I placed a hand on Draco's shoulder. I liked him, really. He was a good wizard and his hatred for Potter was an advantage._

 _'I shall teach you occlumency, legilimency and duel, Draco, you will need it. As for_ your father _, he will teach you the rest.'_

 _My scornful tone when I mentioned his father did not seem to be noticed and he simply nodded. He really wanted to learn, I knew it, but he was stressed and unsure of what was expected of him._

 _'I am the one who shall teach him duel, Bellatrix.' Lucius stood next to his son and shot me a deadly stare._

 _'Oh, you can join!' I laughed, 'It will be fun, showing your son how to win against a pathetic wizard!'_

 _'Bella!' Cissy hissed beside me._

 _'It's ok, you can both teach me if you want.' Draco tried to relieve the tension; I liked to convince myself he was doing it because he knew I could kill his dad._

 _'I will not let my son learn from a mentally unstable psychopath!'_

 _'Lucius!' Cissy scolded, standing between us. 'You're not teenagers anymore, please!'_

True, we were not teenagers anymore. I drifted into a dreamless sleep rocked by a ceaseless refrain: _What matters it, that, all around, Danger, and guilt, and darkness lie._

* * *

I woke up around eight, relaxed, relieved for whatever reason. The sun was peering through the curtains and shined on my hair, curls and tangles spread around me. Strength was back in my veins as well as motivation and I suddenly felt the need to run three or four times around the all house to spend my extra energy. I had planned to start with occlumency today, but duel should be better actually.

'It's going to be fun.'

I propped myself up on my elbows but something caught me in my tracks and I cried in pain. I turned to the left and caught sight of a strand of my hair stuck under the covers. Lifting it, I discovered an arm, a shoulder-

'You got to be kidding me!'

I could not believe he was there, lying beside me and half-naked like it was no problem! Of course it was a problem! Why was he never listening to me! I pushed Rod off the bed and into the floor, leaning over him on the cold wood.

'WHAT DID I SAY?! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?!'

He looked at me with bewildered eyes as if I was crazy – ok, I was, but still. He just stared at me, not even trying to answer.

'GET OUT OF HERE, YOU HEAR ME?'

My hands clenched on his throat and I squeezed. I was going to kill him, I really was. If that was what it took for him to leave me alone then be it.

'I have to sleep here,' he managed to say with a weak voice, 'you burnt down my room like three days ago, remember?' He was out of breath, he was dying, yes he was dying.

I grinned as his eyes widened in panic but he did not die. I was thrown against the opposite wall in a second and he was standing in front of me, his wand pointed at my chest. I leaned lazily against the wall, looking at him through my eyelashes, a smile still deforming my features.

'You have a wand, don't make me laugh. Just repair it!'

'You blew it up, Bellatrix! Should I remind you we are missing a huge part of the west wall now!'

Indeed, I had blown it up, but I had had good reasons, I was sure. I got on my feet and walked to the nightstand to collect my wand and my corset on the floor.

'You make me mad: I blow your stuff! That's how it works, that's how it's worked for twenty-five years! _Get over it_!'

My corset laced itself around my waist and I grabbed my boots, walking to the door and avoiding Rod's angry eyes. He was not the one to be mad, I was!

'I'm going to Malfoy Manor, you'd better be far from this room when I'm back.' I threatened when I passed the threshold.

'Why Malfoy Manor?'

'Not your business.' I spat, on my way down the stairs.

'I'm your _husband_ , it is my business!'

I looked up from the second floor and crossed his eyes. He was so ugly when he was angry.

'Unfortunately.' I breathed.

I put my boots on and hurried down the stairs to the main door.

'I heard that!' His distant voice echoed against the stone walls.

The door burst open and I rushed into the hot morning air. I hated summer; it was too hot, too sweaty and shiny. I preferred snow. I apparated to Malfoy Manor, leaving my troubles behind me, passed through the gates and cast a scouring charm before opening the door – I was longing for a bath but I had not had time to have one for days.

Once up the stairs and into the drawing room, I snapped my fingers to call for Dobby, but another elf popped in front of me – did not matter anyway.

'Tell Draco I'm here.' I ordered.

The elf bowed and disapparated. The door behind me creaked and Draco entered.

'Hello auntie Bella.'

He stood in front of me; his hands were shaking.

'What are we doing today?'

'Duel. But don't worry sweetie, I'll control myself.'

We spent the entire morning practicing, making sure Draco knew how to cast spells properly, especially very harmful ones, so that he did not hurt himself. We did not actually duel, he was not ready for that. He was a good wizard, no doubt, but he needed practice. I was casting an almost constant 'protego' and he had to give his best to break it. It was quite wicked because he had not a single chance to break it, but he gave his best nonetheless.

'Confringo!'

The flames spread out over my shield and vanished.

'It was good Draco!'

He was out of breath but smiled to me. I was quite proud of myself for not losing patience nor control. It was in those moments, when I was with people I truly appreciated, that I was in control, that I was not lost in cruelty and sadism; because I did not want to hurt them. I was mad, it was my personality and nothing in the world could change that, fortunately! But I cared about Draco and Cissy, and they calmed me down.

'Mom said you should stay for lunch, will you?'

Oh, lunch! I grunted internally at the idea of sitting at Lucius' table but at the same time had no desire to come back home where Rod probably was.

'I guess I will.' I sighed.

I raised my hand to pet his hair like I used to when he was younger, but he had grown up so much my hand only reached his shoulder.

'Good, we shall go in the dining room then, I think lunch will be ready soon.'

'And then you'll practice your 'reducto'.' I warned him.

We crossed the room, followed a long corridor and climbed up a flight of stairs, finally entering the dining room. Cissy was standing by the fire and immediately turned to us. A glass of wine in her hands, her sunken eyes were red as if she had been crying.

'I was about to call for you two.' She said with a voice she wanted strong and confident; missed.

I rushed to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Why had she been crying? I was sure it was his fault; he was such a despicable human being.

'Cissy, what happened?'

She shook her head slightly and looked away.

'Nothing,' She whispered, 'nothing happened, I just could not sleep tonight.'

'Cissy, did he say something? Did he _do_ something?' I urged her.

She looked at me in shock.

'No! What do you mean, Bella?'

 _Oh, I don't know! He could do anything to hurt you!_ He was such an arse…

'Don't get mad Cissy, what's wrong with you?'

'My only son is in danger, that's what's wrong.' She hissed a mere whisper only I could hear.

What to say? He was indeed in danger, with such an important mission from the Dark Lord, he could only succeed or he would be severely punished.

'No he's not, stop worrying like that.' I complained.

I slumped down on the couch and snapped my fingers, demanding wine to the house-elf. A glass of red wine ended up in my hand and I sipped the sweet liquid until dinner was served. Cissy sat at one edge of the table and I rushed to her side, leading Draco to the sit next to me. Just when I thought this could actually – maybe – not be as unpleasant as I thought, the door opened and the men entered: Lucius, followed closely by Snape and Rod. Why, why couldn't they just disappear from my life? Lucius took the sit at the other edge of the table, Snape sat next to him and Rod beside Cissy, just in front of me, his eyes clearly avoiding mine.

* * *

I ate in silence, paying no attention to Lucius and Snape discussing on my left. I was sipping my third or fourth glass of wine and playing with my fork on the plate; it was making a low screeching noise. At some point, Cissy abruptly put her hand over mine and stopped my move.

'Bella, please.' Her tone was this of a mother scolding a child, but her eyes were pleading.

I frowned and let the fork loudly fall on the plate, but apparently, no one noticed. Snape and Lucius were still chatting; Draco was eating silently, eyes fixed on his plate. That lunch was far too long for me. I refilled my glass and brought it my lips, drinking avidly.

'She should slow down on the wine.'

I didn't know how Rod managed to do that, but he always failed to be discreet even when he was whispering. I violently slammed the glass on the table and let my body lazily hit the back of the chair.

' _She_ is right here, so if you want to tell _her_ something, go on you coward.' I purred, shooting him a deadly stare.

He cleared his throat and refilled his own glass.

'You should slow down on the wine.' He repeated calmly.

'Here we go again.' Lucius complained, looking up.

He was not very discreet either. My eyes never leaving Rod's, I poured wine in my glass once again and rose it to eye level.

'Cheers.' I grinned.

'You're childish,' He pointed out, 'you won't stay on your feet if you-'

'Shut up!'

'Bella!'

'You are requested to not fight at _my_ table!'

After everyone speaking all at once, silence remained.

'You think you can give orders.' I mocked Lucius. 'Draco, join me when you're finished.'

Before Lucius could say anything, I stood up and threw the content of my glass in Rod's face. He did not complain. He simply took out his wand and cast a scouring charm to clean himself. I threw the glass in the middle of the table where it shattered.

'Always a pleasure to eat with you, _Bellatrix_.'

I ignored Snape's comment and walked to the door, catching the sound of a chair being moved.

'What are you doing, Narcissa?'

'Nothing. Don't wait for me.'

'Leave her, you know she's always like this!' Lucius was so happy to have the opportunity to criticize me! 'She's a mad bitch, that's all she is!'

'Lucius!' Cissy was outraged.

I went down the stairs and returned to the drawing room, followed closely by Cissy. She closed the door behind her and stood in front of me; she was angry. I understood, I knew it was my fault; I had been teasing them, playing the mean girl. But no remorse.

'Can you not stop fighting for half an hour?' She exploded. 'Bella, what is wrong with you?'

'You mean, compared to every other day? Not much, really!'

'Then why are you playing on our nerves? Why are you taking it out on us? On Lucius and Rodolphus?'

'Why not?' I snorted and attempted to turn away but she grabbed my arm.

'What did you mean, then, when you talked about Lucius?'

Why always him! I didn't want to talk about him! I freed myself from her grip.

'Doesn't matter.'

'Yes it does! Why do you hate him so much?'

' _Why I hate him?!_ Because he is at fault for losing the prophecy, and for the Dark Lord not trusting me like he did before!'

'Don't blame it on my husband, Bella!'

' _HE_ IS TO BLAME! HE IS A COWARD, UNFAITHFUL WIZARD! HE WOULD BETRAY THE DARK LORD TO SAVE HIS USELESS LIFE!

'Don't tell me you would not!'

' _NO I WOULD NOT!'_

'Bella, I don't care what you think of my husband, I am simply asking you to stop being disrespectful towards him! You're fighting against the same enemy, remember?'

I remained silent for a couple of seconds, taken aback.

' _Disrespectful_? Do you think he respects me? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE HIM! AND SNAPE! AND ROD! ALL COWARDS PRETENDING TO BE ON OUR SIDE!'

'I am not talking about being on a side anymore! I am talking about you! You as a person, I am asking you to stop behaving like a child! Please, make an effort!'

'NO! IT'S HIS FAULT! _EVERYTHING IS BECAUSE OF HIM_! I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND THAT NOTHING HAPPENED, THAT HE DID NOT FAIL!'

'Everything is not his fault, Bellatrix! I know you are mad because the prophecy was broken, but don't blame him for everything! You are not perfect, far from it! You cannot always throw your anger and seethe to the world!'

'Yes I can, I'm doing it right now! And he deserves it!'

'He deserves nothing you make him suffer, neither do I, or Draco, or even Rodolphus! Control yourself for Merlin's sake!'

'I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!'

'Oh I think you do!'

I took out my wand and threateningly pointed it at her chest.

'Don't tell me what to do! I am not going to behave like a _nicy witchy,_ so forget it! You know me; I am surprised you still think I can change. I cannot change, Cissy! _I AM MAD!_ I AM CRUEL AND SELFISH AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME BECAUSE THEY FEAR ME! Consider yourself lucky that I like you!'

' _This_ is the proof of your love?' She eyes my wand.

'The fact that you're still alive is your proof.'

I put my wand back in my holster and turned my back to my sister.

'Tell Draco to join me in an hour. I am going to walk in the garden.'

* * *

'AH!'

I sat up straight so fast that my vision blurred and I tangled in the covers, falling on the floor. It took me almost a minute to calm myself and admit it had only been a dream. A very realistic nightmare. It had been many months since the last one.

After making sure Rod had not been sleeping here, – a miracle – I headed to the bathroom and washed my face, trying to erase the dark circles under my eyes; but you didn't wipe away fourteen years of Azkaban with water. Wine did not help that much for that matter; I should remember it in the future to avoid having a horrible headache again. I stared at my reflection for a minute, and then decided that now was the time for a well-deserved bath. I turned the hot water on and undressed in the steam. Bath was one of the things I loved most and hated at the same time, because it allowed me to contemplate the countless scars, cuts and scratches that covered my pale body. I tried to ignore it, but again you could not just forget Azkaban. It lived under your skin; forever.

I dived into the boiling water, eyes closed, body relaxed, breasts slowly going up and down with my calm breathing. Once my head was underwater, everything was perfect. At some point, I had wished to be a mermaid spending my entire life swimming in hot water sources, doing nothing else of my days. I had been so naive!

My fingers traced their way along my arms, wrists, stomach, shoulders and neck, running endlessly in my loose curls. I was not vain, but I liked to touch my body, to feel my skin under my fingers and caress it softly like no one else did. I was the only one to give myself the pleasure of tenderness, while all I received from the others was pain and scars.

I didn't know how long I remained drowsing in the bathtub, but I quickly walked out when the water turned freezing cold. A hot-air charm later, I stood in my knickers in front of the mirror, brushing through my curls. I was not training Draco today, we had decided to give it a break because of the fighting yesterday, and because I had been a bit harsh on him during our duel in the afternoon. I had been telling him a hundred times he had a weaker defense on his left and he had done nothing to correct it; so I had thrown a chair at Draco from his left. Failing to protect himself, he had been knocked off his feet and had landed twenty feet away. Needless to say he had no appreciated at all, and almost had me regret it; almost.

No training today, no expectations. I walked back to the room and grabbed the first comfortable top I could find in my wardrobe. I did not really know what to do now, maybe I was just going to wander around before dinner. Rod was with Snape I believed, on a mission probably, so the house was all mine. Not bothering to put on my dress, I walked out into the corridor, pushing curls out of face and yawning. I had been in bed for hours and yet I was still exhausted; it was because of my nightmare, it had kept me stressed even after the bath. I went down the stairs. Maybe I was going to read something in the library to pass the time. I could surely find a book about dark magic that I had not read ten times already. The fire was cracking in the fireplace, and the sun vividly lit up the quiet room; it was perfect, just what I liked.

'Hum…'

I jumped and reacted instinctively.

'Crucio!'

In the corner of the room, where I could have not seen him before, Rod blocked the curse. He had scared me! What was he even doing here? I could never be alone in this house.

'Thought you were out.'

'Well, I'm not.' He put his book down. 'I returned a couple of hours ago. I didn't want to disturb you.'

 _Yes, try to be nice._

'That's why you're so underdressed?' He waved at my knickers.

' _That's why_.'

I ignored his stare and search for a book in one of the shelves. I chose one randomly and loosely sat on the couch turning away from Rod. From the corner of my eye, I could see him staring at me.

'What?' I asked after a couple of minutes of awkward silence. 'Why are you staring at me.'

He did not reply. Instead, he stood up and sat beside me on the couch.

'You're beautiful.'

'A compliment!' I laughed. 'So uncommon of you. And all this time I thought you could only hate me.'

'I don't hate you, Bellatrix. _You_ hate me.'

'Because you're annoying me!'

'I just want us to-'

'There is no _us_ Rod.' I cut him sharply.

'I just want,' He insisted, 'I wish we could have a normal relationship.'

'A normal relationship? Who put that in your silly head?'

'Come on! I just mean maybe we could stop fighting all the time and spend more time together.'

'We are right now, and I'm regretting it!' I spat.

'Bellatrix, stop behaving like a child for Merlin's sake!'

'Why are you so stubborn?! Screaming against you all day long is not enough for you? What do you want more? What do I have to do to make you stop?!'

'Stop humiliating me to start!'

I stood up and crossed my arms.

'I can't! You never do what I say! How many times did I tell you not to sleep next to me? Not to touch me?'

'We are married, Bella, I'm your husband! That's how life works!'

'Do you even listen to yourself?! What the hell do you want?!'

'I WANT YOU, BELLA!'

'BUT I DON'T WANT YOU!'

'I have needs, Bella, and so do you!'

'No I don't!'

He laughed at me. He laughed! He stood up and I had to look up to maintain eye contact.

'You think I don't hear you at night, when you don't know I'm in your room? You have needs and I can help you satisfy them.'

I raised my right hand to slap him but he seized my wrist and twisted it violently to a dangerous angle. I could not hold back a cry of pain.

'Take your hands off me, you bastard!'

'SHUT UP! I'm tired of you pushing me down, I am not weak.'

I spat in his face and tried to reach my wand that had fallen on the carpet but he threw me down in the opposite direction, before picking up my wand.

'I'll give you your wand tomorrow. For now, you stay here.'

I wished I could run to him and rip his head off, but shock kept me down and all I could do was watch him leave and lock the door. _How dared he do that_?. I ran to the door and found it locked; obviously.

'I hate you.' I whispered.

I punched the door as hard as I could.

'I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!'

I punched the door until I did not have the strength to hold on my feet and let myself fall on the floor. The room was spinning around me. I took my head in my hands and just gave up.

'I HATE YOU!'

The sound echoed in the entire manor, but inside the room, it was so much more powerful. Candles burnt out, the thousands of books on the shelves flew out in the room and crashed loudly on the floor; an immense fissure cracked the parquet where I was cowering.

* * *

I had warned you, Bella likes to scream on people in this one!

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	8. No One Understands

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

Hello! Well, I'm sorry, really, for not posting last week but exams are coming, homeworks and stuff... I think I'm going to post every two weeks now so that I'm not giving you something unfinished or done in a hurry. I hope you'll like this one, review and tell me what you think!

PS: I know, you want Bellamione, but it's coming!

* * *

CHAPTER 8: No One Understands

 _Spinner's End_

Mid-July

'Cissy, you can't do this! He cannot- he cannot he trusted!'

I tried to catch up but she was walking fast without a look behind, determined to ignore my calls. It was raining in the little muggle town and water poured from the rooftops on our hooded heads, hidden in a dark passageway.

'The Dark Lord trusts him.' She snapped back.

'The Dark Lord's mistaken. _Cissy!_ ' I hissed and finally grabbed her wrist to stop her.

She turned to me and freed from my grip, her eyes piercing through mine.

'If you don't want to come, then leave! But I won't have you ruin all this!'

She continued walking between the dark brick walls until she reached a street and turned left, stopping in front of a door. A muggle door. I didn't know how he could live in here, around them.

I glanced around anxiously as Cissy knocked on the door. It slowly opened after a few minutes and Snape's face appeared behind the half-opened door.

'Narcissa.'

'Severus. I need your help, _please_.'

Snape invited her in and I had to slam the door against the wall before he'd close it before me. His smirk still lingered on his face when he led us to a small room with only a couch, an armchair and shelves covered in leather-bound books. It was rather dark, only a candle and a blurry window allowed some light. Snape gestured to the couch and sat in the armchair, but I did not follow my sister and remained standing beside her, arms crossed. There was no way I was having a chat with him, all I wanted was to leave this awful place; but I could not leave Cissy alone with him, he was not to be trusted. He had turned his back to the Dark Lord and remained with the enemy for fourteen years; his faith had changed side.

'Severus, the Dark Lord- he wishes- he forbade me to speak of this- to anyone- but-'

'If he forbade you then you are not to speak Narcissa.' Snape interrupted sharply.

'You see? Even _he_ tells you!'

Cissy's hands were shaking.

'I am aware of the Dark Lord's command.' Snape whispered, almost as if he was hesitating to reveal his knowledge.

What knowledge? He knew about this? _How come…_

'The Dark Lord told _you_?' I spat.

'You still doubt me, Bellatrix.'

He feigned not to know, but behind that surprised face hid a well-knowing grin that sparkled in his eyes.

'You have remained by the enemy's side all these years, Snape! And you hope us to trust you blindly?'

My hand instinctively rested on my wand in its holster as he straightened his back and frowned.

'How is Rodolphus?' He asked innocently. 'Lucius was very concerned about his absence at last week's meeting.'

The insults stuck in my throat and I grunted. He was teasing me, he knew something had happened, maybe he even knew _what_ happened, I did not know. Rod may have been too enthusiastic over his little victory.

'You should be honoured Cissy! And we don't need _his_ help.'

* * *

August 28th

'Legilimens!'

Draco's memories flashed before my eyes, but this time, the barrier was stronger. We had been practicing for a month now, and he had greatly improved. I was really proud of him; occlumency was no easy art to master. He had also proved great qualities in legilimency, though he had not been practicing on me. There were secrets meant to remain secrets.

 **Memories of Hogwarts, classes with Snape, evenings with his mother, Potter, weekends with his Slytherin classmates…**

'Close your mind, Draco!'

The frame shrunk a bit and the images were blurred, but some were still very clear. He was not trying hard enough, I could just reach out and grab every memory I wanted.

 **I could see him showing off about being Slytherin's heir around Potter and Weasley, I could see Granger punch him in the face – she was a tough one! – and the disgust on his face when Potter had collected the dragon's egg.**

'DRACO!'

He grunted and closed his eyes, mumbling something about doing his best.

'You can do better than that!'

I released the spell and took a step forward.

'Again.' I ordered.

'Wait! It's been hours…'

I snorted and aimed my wand at his face.

'Come on, Draco! As long as I don't see only my reflection in your eyes we will practice!'

He attempted to stand up but I pushed him back on his chair. He was pissed off, I knew, but I didn't care. I needed to do this, Draco had to keep his thoughts away from anyone too curious during the year. From the enemy's side or from ours. _I am not letting Snape interfere in our plans._

'Legilimens!'

I plunged back into his head, hitting a strong defence that still did not last long.

 **Again, his parents, Hogwarts, me throwing wine on Rod. But among all the memories, one caught my attention. It was at Hogwarts, Lucius was bragging about how he beat me in duels, calling me names along with his 'friends', and swearing he'd kill me one day.  
**

'WHAT WAS THAT?!'

I grabbed Draco by the collar of his shirt and raised him from his chair violently. He was pale and stuttering.

'I- I don't know, I'm sorry aunt Bella!'

'Tell me what. Was. That?'

'I was practicing one day- on my father. I know- I know it was stupid, he didn't notice me. I tried to- I penetrated his mind, he had no defence! And I saw this- I'm sorry- but- but I stopped just after I swear! It's all I've seen and I don't want to know!'

As honest as he was, I could not let him know, he had to forget it. I took a step back and raised my wand.

'Oblivia-'

'Protego!'

A blue shield erected between us and I had to point my wand at the ceiling to prevent the spell from rebounding to me.

'What do you think you're doing?!'

Lucius stood beside his son, a hand placed strongly on his shoulder, his knuckles white.

'Don't you dare curse my son!'

'Don't tell me what to do, Lucius!' I hissed. 'Get out and let me finish!'

'I am not letting you! What are you thinking?'

'He saw something he shouldn't have!'

Lucius frowned and eyed his son.

'What did you see?' He inquired.

Draco desperately looked at me, unsure if he should reveal the memory.

'Don't.' I ordered.

'I saw- I'm not sure-'

'Shut up Draco!' I snapped.

'What did you see?' Lucius insisted.

'He saw the monster behind this disgusting acting of-!'

He slapped me hard and I tasted blood.

'Don't expect to live for long, Lucius. Always watch your back for the crazy bitch, she might be losing it one day.'

* * *

March 1997

I lingered in the shadow of a brick wall, quick steps carrying me to the closest street. My hood was hiding my features to the few wizards in Knockturn Alley, and the wet hem of my dress was flowing behind me.

'Remember what we said, Bellatrix.'

Rabastan walked a few steps behind, his hood hiding the fear in his eyes.

'Coward.' I hissed between clenched teeth.

'This is not about courage! We must be discreet.'

No one had said anything about being discreet, he just didn't want to be caught, he knew he would be if Aurors were to see us. I turned right in Diagon Alley, searching for the shop we had been indicated to. The moon was covered by the clouds, which made it easier to go unnoticed.

'You have the names?' I asked.

He nodded and drew his wand. There was almost no one in the street, it was empty. Perfect for a little hunting game.

'I'm going left, you go right.' I ordered.

The mission was as simple as always: find the mudbloods and have fun. Sometimes it almost felt like it was no mission anymore, just pure fun. Cresswell was the name I was looking for. I stopped before a closed shop where the light was on inside; that was it. I drew my wand and kicked the door open, facing a terrified young man sitting behind the counter. My curse hit him before he could reach for his wand and he fell screaming on the floor. A cackle escaped me as I pulled down my hood and walked behind the counter.

'Scum, that's what you are!'

I grabbed his wand on the floor and snapped it in two, enjoying the flash of despair in his eyes.

'CRUCIO!'

He squirmed again, screamed again, his voice filling my brain and resounding in the streets; that was so good.

'Please stop!'

'Ah! Too bad for you mudblood, but I'm in a bad day.'

I cursed him again and at some point, his voice broke; he remained twitching in his own vomit and blood. Suddenly, a cry broke the silence, coming from a few streets away, followed by another one, a female one. Rabastan had done his job well, then. I wondered for a brief second what I was to do with the man – should I kill him, drive him to madness, abandon him on the edge of death?

'So many options, so many options…'

'Impedimenta!'

The Aurors had already arrived? They were faster than before. A green light flashed out of my wand and hit the wizard on the floor; dead. I ran out of the shop and searched the streets for rays of light.

'Incendio!'

Left. I ran in a narrow passageway and almost stumbled on Rabastan duelling an Auror.

'Stupefy!'

The wizard was thrown backwards and hit a wall, sliding on the ground.

'The mudbloods?' I inquired.

'Unconscious. In another street.' He was panting.

I hurried to the stunned Auror to finish the job, but Rabastan gripped my arm.

'Let's go Bellatrix. Others will arrive.'

'Take your hands off me.' I withdrew my arm.

I aimed my wand at the Auror.

'Avada kedavra!'

The green light passed through his chest and the light in his eyes faded. In a close street, a 'pop' sound betrayed an Auror apparating. Rabastan had already disapparated; but I was not done yet. I stepped back in the shadows and watched for the Auror to appear. Three of them did. That was not in the plan.

'Confringo!'

A shield erected between us and stopped my spell, which rebounded and I had to dodge it. I stopped a red flash that hit a wall and exploded a few bricks. I could not contain my laugh as I cast curses after curses, watching them step back. A spell hit a wall next to me and shattered several windows. Sharp pieces of glass scratched my cheek and I lost my balance for a second.

'Diffindo!'

Pain shot through my right arm as a deep wound cut in the flesh.

'Stupefy!'

I raised a shield and took a step back to have enough space, now was time for the real show. I waved my wand above my head in a wide circle and a trail of fire shot towards the sky. The fire grew bigger and higher, taking the shape of a huge snake slithering on the rooftops. It dived on the petrified Aurors, its body licking walls and burning everything it touched. Two of them were caught in the Fiendfyre before they could react but the third one managed to escape in a passageway.

Others would be coming. I flicked my wand and the snake vanished into thin air. This was the kind of exercise I needed. I pointed my wand to the sky above my head and screamed.

'Morsmordre!'

I disapparated to the Riddle House, leaving death and terror behind me, shining under the Dark Mark in the sky.

* * *

'You're back.' Rabastan turned when I entered the corridor leading to the drawing room.

He was waiting in front of the closed door; a flash of worry crossed his eyes.

'I am.'

'What happened, then? You're bleeding.'

I did not answer and opened the door to the drawing room. The meeting had already begun and all heads turned to me, then to Rabastan who had followed me – who was standing setback next to me. I bowed to the Dark Lord and waited for His order.

'Bellatrix, Rabastan.' He acknowledged. 'The mission?'

'I killed Cresswell, but we were attacked by Aurors. I killed three of them, one escaped.' I showed off with a satisfied grin.

The Dark Lord stared at Rabastan.

'What about you Rabastan?' He hissed.

The latter was uneasy, he cleared his throat.

'My Lord, we were attacked before I could kill them. They were unconscious when we left and-'

'When _you_ left.' The Dark Lord interrupted. 'You fled and left Bellatrix behind. I can see your mind, don't lie to me.'

Rabastan was shaking; he was in trouble and he had known it the second he had disapparated without me.

'Crucio!'

Rabastan fell to his knees and screamed when the curse hit him, his eyes shut. It was such a pleasure to see him in pain; this bloody idiot deserved it all. I looked down on him with a mischievous grin, refraining myself from drawing my wand to curse him. The Dark Lord gestured me to sit down to His very right, and the cries followed my steps to the chair, then faded and was replaced by weak whimpers.

'As I was saying,' He spoke, 'the letters from Draco and the last visit to Borgin & Burkes are very encouraging, and I believe the vanishing Cabinets will soon be safe to use.'

The Dark Lord had ordered Draco to make us enter Hogwarts through the Vanishing Cabinet that was hidden there, and the one in Borgin & Burkes. Our mission, then, would be to make sure Draco fulfilled his task and killed Dumbledore.

'Bellatrix, Amycus, Alecto, Greyback, Rowle, Crabbe, Goyle and Yaxley, you will go to Hogwarts on June 30th. Draco has been informed.'

June 30th? It was in more than three months! How could I not get bored in three months… At least I wouldn't go with Rod or Lucius; even Rabastan was left aside. I had never really hated him, but he had been terribly annoying for the past few months, teasing me with Rod when we were going to Borgin & Burkes. I let them do, too tired to fight – just ignoring them.

'Moreover, I have decided to move my headquarters to Malfoy Manor.'

Lucius's face turned white as a sheet and he glanced at Cissy who was just as livid as he was. They knew why He made this decision. It was no honour; it was a punishment for Lucius' failure, as was Draco's task. I could not contain a smirk.

'It is an immense honor, my Lord.' Cissy wisely bowed and Lucius followed.

'I shall need to have some of you by my side. Therefore, Yaxley, Greyback, Rodolphus and Bella will stay with me at Malfoy Manor.'

My heart jumped in my chest at the idea of living with Him; this was the honour I had been expecting for so many years. And seeing the disgusted look from Lucius when he heard my name was even more satisfying. I knew Rod and Lucius would be there, that I would not have as many time alone, but nothing mattered now; nothing but Him.

* * *

I closed the door of my room behind me and flicked my wand around. My leather trunk in the corner opened and clothes flew from the wardrobe, landing neatly in the trunk. I searched through my books for those Cissy did not have. I was not sure when I was to return here and I'd better take everything I shall need. I had not much anyway, only a few things really mattered to me. I walked to the wardrobe and opened a hidden locker at the back, incrusted in the wood. Inside was a pile of photographs, old and yellow – about twenty pictures of me with Cissy and Andy. On most of them, we were together, at Hogwarts or in the garden behind our house. There was one: it was Cissy and I in our living room, sitting on the dark leather couch. I had to be seven or eight, and she was about four. My arms were crossed over my chest and I was lifting my chin, looking down at Cissy. Even so young, I had had a scornful attitude. Cissy was on all fours, her head cocked to the side and her blue eyes wide in admiration before a curl of mine her tiny hand was playing with. I was not moving a lot, just moving slightly aside at some point. But Cissy – she seemed so excited, almost jumping on the sofa with a genuine smile when she was making my curl bounce up and down. She had always liked my hair; hers were blond and straight, while Andy's and mine were dark and curly. We were so different from her. Even her name was different – named after a flower unlike us, named after stars.

The next photograph was Andy and I in our Slytherin's uniform, during Andy's first year at Hogwarts. I was helping her with her tie while she was smiling and poking my cheek with her index finger. When I was done, I looked at her and stuck my tongue to her. She didn't stop teasing me, always smiling and giggling. It was one of my favourite photograph, even though it was with Andy.

'Bellatrix?'

I jumped and turned on the spot, my wand raised and aiming at the door where Rod stood.

'Can't you knock? Go away.'

He showed me the book in his hand and walked to me.

'Lucius doesn't have this one.' He threw the book on the bed, taking a few more steps to me. His eyes were fixed on mine; he barely blinked. I turned back to the wardrobe to close the hidden locker.

'Get out, Rod! I'm not in the mood for your- AH!'

His hands had slipped around my waist and his weight was pressed against my back. The photographs spread at my feet as I tried to push him away, but he had a strong grip. I was not letting this happen again!

'GET AWAY!'

He seized my wand and I did not let go, but my position made it impossible to cast a spell without harming myself first. I struggled and kicked my elbow in his ribs at some point, but he did not intent on letting me escape.

'LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!'

'Shut up!'

I yelped when his strong hands clenched my throat and squeezed. I attempted to push his hands away, to kick him off me, to scratch him; anything to make him stop. I was drifting away and losing my breath, his face was blurred.

'I'm going to kill you!' He had gone utterly mad and was watching me with a deranged smirk.

Find an idea; I had to find an idea – my knife! I slipped a hand under my corset and it was there, my small knife was at the tip of my fingers. In a desperate last move, I grabbed it and stabbed him in the shoulder before he could react. He screamed and let go of my throat, the momentum making me fall backwards on the floor. My lungs filled with air and I coughed, tears welling up in my eyes.

'Aargh, you bitch!'

I managed to see Rod through my watery eyes; he was pressing his wand hand on his bleeding shoulder and his other hand was raising my knife, ready to throw it my direction.

'I don't care about what he says, I'm going to kill you!'

He threw the blade right in my face but I rolled over; it stuck somewhere in a wall. I needed my wand. I turned around – it was in the corner, right there – but by the time I'd have reached it, Rod would have cursed me at least ten times. I was pathetic, so weak without my wand.

'Crucio!'

The red light missed me by an inch. I ran to my wand, dodging his curses. I was about to pick it up-

'Accio wand!'

'NO!'

It jumped in the air and flew across the room. In the doorway, Rabastan caught it and pointed it at me. What was he even doing here?!

'Give me my wand!'

He just stared at me and glanced at his brother bleeding on the floor.

'NOW!'

I was cornered; I couldn't run into any of them, not with their wands pointed at me.

'Can you not stop trying to kill yourselves?' Rabastan complained.

'The bitch stabbed me.'

'You deserved it!' I hissed.

Rod managed to stand against the wall but his left arm was twitching. I hoped he'd bleed to death on the carpet.

'GIVE ME MY WAND!' Rod pushed himself off the wall. He was pathetic.

'RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE, LEAVE THIS ROOM IMMEDIA-!'

'Avada kedavra!'

'NO!'

Rabastan grabbed me by the waist and threw me on the floor. The curse hit a bookshelf and papers flew all over the room. The curse had just missed me; a second later and I would have been dead.

'You cannot kill her! He'll kill you!' Rabastan stood between his brother and I, still on all fours.

'I don't care, I want her dead! Step away!'

But Rabastan did not move. He stood protectively in front of me and threatened his brother with both his wand and mine. I stood up, always hiding behind Rabastan.

'Oh, you would not kill your baby brother, would you?' I purred in his ear, leaning on his shoulder.

'Shut up.' He spat. 'Or I might change my mind.'

I laughed and looked at Rod. He was hesitating, the poor boy.

'Rod, leave and wait for me in the drawing room.' Rabastan ordered gently.

He grunted but obeyed and left the room without a look behind. Once he was gone, Rabastan walked to the door and threw me my wand.

'You cannot kill each other, you know that.'

I laughed at his stupidity.

'We both know life can be worse than death.' I licked my lips and hopped to the wardrobe, humming a song as he frowned and looked up in annoyance.

The photographs were still scattered on the floor; fortunately, none had been stained with blood. I picked them up and made them fly to my trunk, then closed the lid and locked it. I eyed the book on the bed – ' _Unforgivable Curses and How to Cast Them_ ' – and reluctantly took it; it was true, Cissy did not have that one. I levitated the heavy trunk to the door and looked around the room once more. I was far too happy to leave it; nothing I would miss. I left the room without looking back until I reached the main door. There, I admired one last time the decorated ceiling and large staircases. I would definitely not be missing anything.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	9. Bring Me Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 9: Bring me Harry Potter

October 1997

Dumbledore was dead, the Order was weak, and the Light was fading. It had been four months since Snape's betrayal to the Order and Grimmauld Place was no longer our Headquarters. It was empty. Dust covered the walls and furniture and ran up to the ceiling, covering the whole house in a gloomy grey mist.

I was going down the stairs to the kitchen, yawning after a well-deserved but still agitated night sleep. Everything was quiet in the house; even Walburga's portrait was silent.

' _Come my love'_

The voice whispered in my ear; I jumped and turned around but there was no one. It was not Walburga's voice, for sure.

'Hello?' I hesitated.

I did not understand, I had checked the house and there had been no one!

' _Come to me_ '

The whispers seemed to echo inside my head… I shivered and drew my wand, ready to cast a shield charm. I climbed down a few steps when I heard it again.

' _Come!_ ' The voice was harsh.

This time, it was as if a hand was tickling my nape and running down my spine; but again, I was alone.

'I know this voice.'

Candles flickered against the wall as I glanced around me in a hurry. Whispers again, in a soft, almost loving voice. But no matter how warm the voice was, I was freezing. It was not good to hear voices, not at all.

' _Filthy mudblood'_

Her face popped before my eyes and I gasped in horror. It was _her_ voice in my head, _her_ soft voice calling me. I had managed to forget her, to focus on everything else but _her_. Because she had haunted me a year ago, I had forced myself to let aside every single sign of her. She was my nightmares, the monster creeping under my bed that I heard when I woke up in the dark of the night, sweating and panting; the pain felt so real.

I was down another flight of stairs when the sing-song voice pulled me to a corridor hidden in dim light. My feet carried me to the very last door, the Black sisters' room. Andromeda's name had been scratched; of course.

' _Come_ '

'Alohomora.'

The door creaked open, revealing a huge room plunged into darkness. Only a thin ray of light passed through the heavy curtains. Of what I could see, the room was a complete mess. Furniture were broken and scattered all over the floor, posters and frames dangling on the walls. The only pieces that seemed in a decent state were two large four-poster beds on each side of the room; even Andromeda's bed had been destroyed.

I lit up my wand and took a step inside, walking on broken glass and avoiding sharp wood boards.

' _Finally_ ' Her voice was singing in my head, all around me.

For a second, I seemed to regain consciousness and wondered why I was here, why I had not left yet when I had no desire to be close to her or to where she had lived.

'Why am I here?' I asked foolishly in the hope to get an answer.

'Because I need you.'

I froze and clenched my wand tighter. This time, she had spoken barely in a whisper, but it was not in my head. Or was I going mad? She could not be here; with the Fidelius Charm, she could not-

'Stop thinking, love.' She leaned on my shoulder. 'You'll give yourself a headache.'

She was there, right behind me, I could feel her breath against my burning skin. While I wanted to turn around at once and fight her, all I could do was close my eyes and try to think rationally, despite all the memories that clouded my mind. Her weight on me, the excruciating pain when she had cursed me; all of it and even more – her transcendent beauty.

'My Hermione. *her sharp nails caressed my flushing cheek* My little itty-baby. * her other hand rested on my hips, she pushed herself closer to me* Baby filthy mudblood!'

Her voice was low but it did not make her words kinder. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head backwards, muffling my cry of pain with her hand. I could have fought back, I could have cursed her. I could have, but I could not; I did not want to.

'I missed you, and I know you missed me, love.'

Her lips trailed my jaw, leaving soft kisses wherever she could reach. Her touch was exquisite, thrilling, soft and strong at the same time. I rested my back against her chest and let myself fall into her embrace. I was surprisingly relaxed and peaceful; the part of me who hated her seemed to have disappear.

I loved her. In this instant, I truly loved her. All her wrongs had vanished, and there only remained her beauty, sensuality and affection for the insignificant girl I was.

'Bellatrix.' I moaned as she slipped a hand under my shirt.

I could almost sense her smile in my neck. I turned to face her dark eyes shining lustfully. My wand slipped from my hand and rolled silently on the floor. Her hand still rested on my hip, the other one stroked my hair gently. My mouth was dry when I grabbed the back of her hair and crashed my lips onto hers violently. She pulled me even closer – if ever this had been possible – and my mouth opened to let her demanding tongue dance with mine. I had never kissed a girl before, but I had fantasized about it. However, this was nothing like what I had imagined: sensual, soft and yet violent.

Warmth invaded my body; she was so perfect, so hypnotising. My unskilled hands stroked her back and hair clumsily, while hers, more confident and probably more skilled, attempted to take my shirt off. I could feel her body heating up just like mine as she laid her eyes on my bare chest and licked her lips.

'My baby loves it, don't you?' She giggled, sounding almost like a child.

In answer, I rested my hands on her lower back and pushed our crotches together. She moaned loudly and arched her back, thus allowing me access to her prominent breasts.

'I need you.' She whispered between clenched teeth.

Her lips found their way up to my breasts and the tip of her tongue teased the sensitive flesh of my nipple. I was hers, utterly and infinitely hers.

'I need you to help me, love.'

Her teasing were fiercer, and her teeth sunk into my breasts here and there. It was so pleasant and exciting, it was heaven compared to what I had experienced before. The idea crossed my mind that maybe she could please me more than I used to please myself.

'Do you love me?'

She grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. Did I love her? No, I did not, did I? I was confused; but she loved me so much, I could not reject her, not when she was asking for my help.

'Ye-yes,' I hesitated, 'yes, I love you. Why do you need me?'

Her smile grew wider and her lips crashed unto mine forcefully.

'Bring me-' She giggled between passionate kisses, 'bring me Harry Potter.'

Harry… My eyes widened in horror. He was just upstairs with Ron- she was going to kill them! She kept on trailing kisses in my neck possessively, but this time my stomach twisted in disgust. What was I doing here with her when she was only a step away from killing Harry? Her, who had killed Sirius! She seemed to feel the tension in my body because her hands clenched my hips more firmly, as to not let me escape her.

'I will.'

The words had slipped from my lips with no hesitation, and the sound of my voice had not betrayed any worry or concern. I wanted to give her Harry to please her. I needed to satisfy her just as she was satisfying me. Her nails scratched my collarbone and droplets of blood stained my shirt.

'I know you will.' She cackled.

Bellatrix pushed me backwards and I landed on one of the beds. The sheets were covered with dust that flew all over the room and invaded my lungs, making me cough. She was laughing, I could not make if it was nice or sadistic; considering who she was, I opted for the sadistic laugh. She leaned over me, her hair tickling my face. Her knee pushed against my thighs, avidly demanding entrance to my core, which I allowed in a whimper of pleasure. The sensation of her leg rubbing against my sensitive skin sent me to heaven.

'Come on, you can do better than that.' She reproached.

She took my shaking hands and guided one to her chest and the other on her thighs. I knew what she was expecting of me but I had no idea what to do! Pleasuring another woman was not something I had imagined to do, at least not so soon; I was completely lost. I did not know what she liked, what turned her on; I did not know her at all!

'Be inventive.' She whispered on my lips as her own hand pushed in between my thighs.

'STUPEFY!'

A flash of light shot from far on my left and just missed me, crashing on one side of the four-poster bed. Over me, Bellatrix rolled on the sheets and crashed on the floor. I just had the time to follow and roll over as the wood structure crashed and impaled the mattress in the exact spot I had been laying mere seconds ago.

'Come out Bellatrix!'

The room was pitch black but there was no mistake on who had spoken. Harry was probably in the doorway with Ron by his side, waiting for us to show ourselves and… explain ourselves. Bellatrix was crouching next to me, definitely not coming out to the boys. Mischief was gleaming in her eyes.

'Come so I can kill you- and let go of Hermione!'

Bellatrix laughed at him.

'Oh, she can go. But I don't think she wants to.'

She grabbed my arm and pulled me to her, her dark eyes piercing through mine. She never took her eyes off me, though her words were not really destined to me.

'She doesn't want to leave me. She needs me just as much as I need her.'

'I saw you attacking her- don't lie and let her go!' Ron grunted.

'I did not attack her, Weasel! You should have watched more carefully.'

Her lips teased mine for a second and then retreated with a popping sound.

'She doesn't resist me, you see. She asks for more actually- don't you my love?'

I was speechless, incapable of thinking rationally or defending myself.

'Lumos maxima.' It had been Harry.

A ball of light the size of a basketball flew on the ceiling and stabilised in the centre, lighting up the whole room. We were still behind the bed, hidden from the boys.

'Here.'

Bellatrix handed me my wand; she must have picked it up when she had fallen from the bed. I reached for it but she pulled it away and tutted.

'Finish the job.'

What did she mean 'finish the job'? She did not give me time to think about it. She put my wand in my hand, grabbed my arm and pulled me up next to her. Her wand was pointed at my face. On the threshold, Harry and Ron stood side by side, their wand raised and ready to cast a spell.

'Let her go.' Ordered Harry.

Ron's confused look drifted to my fingers clenched around my wand.

'So you are with her, then?' He asked bitterly.

Bellatrix released my arm and grinned with pride.

'Ron-' Harry tried to calm him down.

' _I DON'T CARE_! SHE BETRAYED US! STUPEFY!'

'Protego!'

The spell was meant to hit me but Bellatrix had cast the shield, while I had not moved an inch. He had- he had tried to curse me? After all these years, he could not just try to understand- or at least let me say something!

'TRAITOR!'

'Ron, wait-' I begged.

'I HATE YOU!'

I did not know what to tell him to ease his mind, everything was confused. I suddenly found myself in a horrible dilemma. On one side, my best friends, impulsive but truthful; on the other, a Death Eater – but what Death Eater! – who loved me and trusted me.

'Hermione…' Harry pleaded, expecting this was all a bad joke. But it was not.

'CRUCIO!'

'Expelliarmus!'

Ron's spell hardly appeared as his wand flew in the air and landed in my open palm. I had seen his true self and it disgusted me. I had no regrets in disarming him, and I would have none in doing what Bellatrix wanted me to do. Ron was boiling with rage but he was defenceless. Harry had his wand, but seemed too taken aback to decide what was right to do. Bellatrix stroked my cheek and I heard her soft voice whisper to my ear.

 _Do it_

I pointed my wand to Harry and inhaled deeply.

'Avada kedavra.'

His wand rolled on the carpet. The green in his eyes seemed to fade. He fell backwards and hit the ground with a thud. He was dead.

* * *

'NOOOOOO!'

I sat down straight so fast that the room started spinning around me. I was sweating and I could feel my heart rising in my throat. I was back in our room in Grimmauld Place, on the fourth floor.

'Hermione what is it?'

Ron was crouching next to me, his eyes worryingly searching mine for the reason of my screaming.

'Harry-' I whispered desperately. 'Harry.'

Ron frowned and leaned closer. His fingers stroked my cheek tenderly.

'You killed him.' His voice was cold, emotionless.

No, it was not possible; I could not have killed my best friend, not just because of Bellatrix!

'It was not me!' I pleaded.

Ron cocked his head to the side in a manner that reminded me of-

'But you did, my love.'

Bellatrix's voice had replaced Ron's, and his blue eyes had turned dark as the night.

'No, no, not you!'

I tried to back away but Ron grabbed my throat and pushed me down again.

'It's okay, he deserved it. The Dark Lord needed him to die.'

* * *

'NO STOP!'

I was struggling but nothing pinned me down anymore. The bed sheets were tangled around my waist like a snake slithering against my chest.

"Aargh!'

I rolled to the side and crashed heavily on the wooden floor. The room was dark but it didn't take me long to recognise the Black sisters' damaged room. Was it a dream again? Or had I really walked to the room-

I weakly pushed myself up on my hands and knees. And Bellatrix, had she really been here?

' _Of course I've been here, love_.'

A shiver ran down my spine as I got up abruptly and drew out my wand. I did not know if this had been in my head; I felt her somehow, being here.

 _'Oh, poor baby mudblood is lost, isn't she?'_

'Shut up.' I muttered, scanning the darkness around me.

A hand lingered on my shoulder. I spun around but found no one. She was there, she was hiding in the shadows, patiently waiting for me to let down my guard so she could jump on me and capture me in her claws.

'Hermione?'

Harry and Ron were both pointing their wand at me, an angry look in the eye.

'You betrayed us!' Ron accused me.

'No! Believe me, I did not want to!' I begged him, but my tone seemed fake, even to myself. It was hard to know why. ' _She made me do it!_ '

'Liar!' Harry yelled at me so coldly that I started shaking.

Suddenly, the room started spinning around me, the walls turned to dark marble and a long corridor appeared in front of me. I was in the Department of Mysteries.

 _'Remember that place?'_

Her voice echoed against the stone for a few seconds. I shivered.

 _'It was so much fun- having you begging me to stop- having you under my power, in the_ _place where you belong.'_

'Show yourself!'

A shadow glided against the wall, a light wind caressed my cheek.

'Stupefy!'

My spell crashed on the marble but it did not break. Instead, it started melting.

 _'I know your fears, my pet. I can see them in your head.'_

'HERMIONE!'

From the end of the corridor, a figure was running towards me. As they came closer, I recognised Harry's jet-black hair flying in a mess on top of his head. I backed away, afraid that he was coming to hurt me again. This was when I noticed he was bleeding, profusely.

'Hermione!' He cried desperately.

'Harry!'

I rushed to his side as he collapsed on the floor. He was panting and clutching his chest.

'Harry, what happened?'

The hand on his wounded chest was shaking, his eyes were rolling around hysterically and drool was dropping on his chin.

 _'Her.'_

Rage was boiling inside my heart as I whispered Snape's incantation, draining Harry's blood back to his body. The wounds seemed to heal quite well when Harry grabbed my hand and looked at me straight in the eye.

'Why did you do this to me?' He pleaded.

'I- I didn't do anything! I thought _she_ -'

'You killed me, Hermione.'

'NO!' I yelled to his hurt face. 'NO I DID NOT! _She made me do this!_ '

He looked away. Ignorance was even worse than accusation.

'Harry, I love you! You're like my brother, you trust me!'

Harry's eyes fluttered for a second before closing completely.

'No, no, Harry! _HARRY!_ '

His heart had stopped beating, he was not breathing anymore. No, I could not have killed him, I could not.

'I HATE YOU!' I jumped on my feet and looked all around me, searching her shadow, her scent; any evidence of her presence. 'YOU KILLED HIM!'

 _'You did, my love; you did._ ' Her soft, giggling voice invaded my head, refusing to shut it!

'Stop! Shut up! SHUT UP!'

I took my aching head in my hands and tried to focus on everything but her voice.

 _'Come to me, you are weak, you are under my control.'_

'Focus, Hermione!'

Harry and Ron, they love you, the Weasley love you, McGonagall loves you, your parents- no, not my parents- forget it, _just focus_!

 _'No one loves you but me, my pet.'_

List all the spells you know- do it! Stupefy, impedimenta, alohomora, protego, Incendio-

 _'Even your parents have forgotten about you!'_

Her evil laugh gave me goosebumps as I tried to repeat our DADA lesson on werewolves.

 _'You cannot deny it! You are mine!'_

'NO I'M NOT!

My knees gave up and I fell on the floor, sobbing and crying like I had never cried before. I was so lost.

'Sweetie'

A hand was softly placed on my shoulder and I did not resist to the touch. Whoever was comforting me knelt down behind me and stroked my hair gently. Her presence was surprisingly reassuring, whispering to me ear.

'I love you.' She giggled.

As she leant closer, I caught a breath of her delicate scent. She smelled like mint, parchment and-

'Never forget that.'

Bellatrix pushed me on my stomach and my wand rolled from my hand.

'Crucio!'

* * *

'Hermione! Wake up!'

'NO, STOP!'

 _'HERMIONE!'_

My eyes flashed open and I discovered Ron griping my shoulder violently.

'What- what happened?' I wondered.

'You tell me- you started screaming, I think you had a nightmare.'

I looked around me. Was this still another dream? We were back in Grimmauld place, in our room on the fourth floor; but this could still be a dream.

'What do I take with my Butterbeer?' I asked abruptly.

Ron frowned and gave me a suspicious look.

'Why- what are you-'

'Answer me, please.'

Only Ron and Harry knew that; this was my only way of knowing if this was reality.

'Well- you want ginger in it. Why?'

I sighed in relief and ran a hand through my sweaty hair.

'Nothing. Where's Harry?' I inquired worryingly.

'I'm here.'

I looked on my left and found Harry sitting cross-legged on the couch, a book on his lap. He seemed perfectly fine, but a sudden fear twisted my stomach. I stood up and rushed to him, asking him to open his shirt. He blushed and looked at me awkwardly.

'Why?'

'Please, I need to check something out.'

Harry shrugged and glimpsed at Ron.

'Come on, just the top button! Don't look so bashful!'

He did as I asked and revealed his chest. Right in the centre- just above the sternum, a white line scarred his skin. I brought a curious finger to the fragile skin, right where he had been wounded in my dream.

'Wait- what is that?' He wondered. 'I did not have that before.'

How could this be? It had only been a dream, only in my head; right?

'Hermione, what is it?' Ron inquired.

I rushed to my bag and searched for my mirror. If Harry had a scar, did it make the whole thing real? Then what had really happened – if anything happened at all. I raised the mirror up to my neck and almost dropped it.

'Hermione? What's wrong? Are you okay?'

On my collarbone, blood had dried around a small wound. A scratch that she had carved with her nails as sharp as a blade. _What had she done to me?_

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

'My Lord?'

He gestured me to take a sit by His side.

'What news, Bellatrix?'

'The mudblood is extremely receptive to mind control, my Lord.'

'Very well.' He hissed. 'Remember your goal, Bella. _Bring them to me_.'

'I shall, my Lord. I shall.'

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	10. Your Dreams Are My Nightmares

So, I deleted most of this chapter because it didn't fit in the story anymore. This is why it is way shorter than the others.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 10: Your Dreams Are My Nightmares

 **Hermione**

 _March 1998_

'Hermione, can we talk for a minute?'

Harry sat beside me at the table where I had been reading. The sword of Gryffindor was shining softly in Ron's hands opposite to me, but he put it down almost immediately. They seemed concerned and uneasy.

'Something wrong?' I asked.

What could possibly be wrong? We had destroyed the locket a few weeks ago, we had the sword and we were all alive – nothing was trouble.

'It's- it's about you.' Harry hesitated, and I frowned when he mentioned me.

'Me?'

''Mione, you've done nothing wrong.' Ron tried to reassure me. 'We just had questions- questions about…'

He left the sentence unfinished and waved his hand, just as if he expected me to understand.

'Ron, I don't get it.'

Harry sighed and spoke.

'About your dreams. You seem to have lots of nightmares lately, and we just wondered if everything was fine.'

Oh, Merlin! I thought I had done something wrong. However, it was true, I'd had many nightmares for the past three or four weeks, and usually woke up anxious, sometime screaming. I understood they were worried and they wanted to help me, but I could not explain my nightmares. I did not even understand them. They were not what you would usually call nightmares; they were more flashes of my memories, of painful moments, all in a very disturbing atmosphere in which I didn't feel safe at all.

'It's nothing, it's just- I miss my parents.' I lied.

They didn't seem really convinced by that, and I was not a very good liar after all.

'What?' I snapped, a bit too aggressively. 'You don't believe me or what?'

Ron shrugged but Harry immediately shook his head.

'No, of course we believe you 'Mione. But- you see- you speak, sometimes.'

I blushed madly. What could I possibly have said that made them react like this?

'You said her name.' Ron's tone was cold and filled with anger, though it was not directed towards me.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I had not wanted to tell them about it – I knew it would have freaked them out – but she was in my nightmares. Bellatrix. Because the scene that I was seeing the most was her torturing me, or me killing Harry with her approval, her sensual self leaning over me.

'I still see her- in the Ministry.' I shook my head to brush away my wandering thoughts.

'Hermione, I've been thinking about what Remus had said after you- after you helped her. Maybe she does read your mind.'

Yes, maybe she did, but I could no admit it and I refused to even think about it. Ignoring the truth was selfish but easier.

'No Harry, I would know it if-'

'But 'Mione,' Ron interrupted her, 'Harry also had nightmares about You-Know-Who, nightmares quite similar to those you have.'

'He's right. Maybe we should practice occlumency-'

'You cannot do occlumency, Harry.' I replied coldly.

I regretted my words the moment they came out, but it was too late, I had hurt him. He frowned and clenched his fist. I knew it had been a very difficult time practicing with Snape, it was not his fault.

'At least we can do something to help you, right?' Ron inquired. 'Don't deal with that on your own. We're here for you 'Mione.'

'There's nothing to be done, Ronald.' I snapped.

I attempted to stand and leave but Harry grabbed my wrist and maintained me sitting.

'Hermione, don't take this lightly. Having a mental connection with a Death Eater as powerful and insane as Bellatrix Lestrange is not a good thing! And if it is the kind of connection I have with Voldemort then it really-'

'HARRY!' Ron and I both cried desperately.

We fell silent for a few seconds, Harry understanding his mistake, and then hurried to pack everything. how many time had we told Harry about the taboo and not saying _his_ name! I put the sword back in my bag and was about to put the book when I heard a loud pop outside the tent, followed by two- three others. I glanced at the boys anxiously. We were in huge troubles. It was too late to leave.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	11. Filthy Mudblood

Soooo... *coughs uneasily* It's been a _very_ **_very_ ** long time since my last update and I sincerely apologize to everyone reading and following this story. I tried so hard to get to write something decent but I had to work super hard for my end-of-high-school exams - the most important of my life I swear - and because I really **really** want to go to college, I studied like crazy. Therefore, I was not able to write anything in almost two months -geez, that's a lot! - and this update might not be very consistent considering my absence. But, better late than never, and better a little than nothing! So here you have it, the eleventh chapter. I hope I'll be able to uptade soon - as I'm still going through my exams - but I don't think it'll take me two other months to write something, hopefully. On that, I leave you with Hermione. Also, because it's late and I just finished it and I really wanted to post it tonight, there may be some errors, but I'll try and check that back later. Enjoy and review!

* * *

 _CHAPTER 11: Filthy Mudblood_

 **Hermione**

I was pushed in front of the heavy doors of Malfoy Manor, followed by Harry and Ron a few steps behind. My hands were shaking in their bonds as the doors opened and a tall figure appeared on the threshold. With the pressure of Scabior's hand on my nape, I couldn't see who stood in front of me, but judging by their clothes, it had to be-

"Ma'am Malfoy." Scabior bowed slightly and the pressure on my neck tightened. "We 'ave- er- a gift for yer."

"What is the meaning of all this?" She hissed.

Her voice was the one of an aristocrat, which seemed uncanny in the present situation; it seemed as if the war had not robbed her pride and superiority. The Snatcher holding Harry approached the doorway and raised Harry's head in the dim light for the witch to see him. She frowned and made a disgusted wince.

"What is that?"

"That, ma'am, is 'arry Potter." Scabior grinned.

"What?" She sounded offended- as if it was a really bad joke.

"'e 'as the scar."

Narcissa Malfoy frowned again but gestured us to enter. We were lead up immense marble stairs, and along large corridors. The walls were covered in old paintings glancing at us scornfully, but some walls were naked of any decorations, and the grey stones gave the entire manor a cold atmosphere.

If they discovered they had caught Harry, we would all be dead before night, and everything would be lost. The effect of the stinging jinx I had cast would disappear in an hour or two, leaving us defenceless in the hands of Death Eaters. How could we avoid that, without even knowing the plan they had for us?

"Said move on, mudblood!"

Scabior pushed me into a wide drawing room, with dark green tapestries on the walls and a large fireplace filling half the room. What attracted my eyes was the crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the rays of the sun dancing on the gemstones and projecting silver reflects on the walls. The door was slammed behind us, and Harry and Ron were dragged alongside me, forming a line of prisoners facing the Malfoy family.

Lucius bore the same disgusted look as his wife, staring at us and probably not believing we were standing here, in his house. However, Draco did look shocked to see us here, almost afraid. Did he know what awaited us? I'd have thought he would be enjoying himself, having us prisoners of his family who would be undoubtedly rewarded by Voldemort. Of course, there was little chance he had recognised Harry, but at least he had recognised Ron the _blood traitor_ , and I the _mudblood._

"What are they doing here?" Lucius Malfoy spat.

"We found 'em in the woods." Scabior straightened his back with pride. "'e is 'arry Potter."

Lucius' eyes immediately fixed on Harry, narrowing. He did not believe it, I could see it.

"Potter? He doesn't look like him at all! Don't you try to fool-"

"'e 'as the scar, sir!"

Scabior handed me over to another Snatcher who grabbed my waist and held me tight. We needed a plan to escape from here before they found out the truth; we needed time- and wands.

"Not tryin' fool you, take a look yerslef. The scar 'ere," Scabior brought Harry closer, "it's 'is."

Lucius walked reluctantly in front of Harry and wrinkled his nose, taking a close look at Harry's forehead.

"He may be- but we have to be sure. We cannot risk calling the Dark Lord for nothing."

I glanced at Ron beside me. His nose had stopped bleeding from the punch he had received, but it was swollen. He looked back at me and I saw in his eyes the same distress I was feeling. How were we going to get out of this hell?

"Draco, come closer- tell us if it's Potter."

Draco twitched, as if he had received an electric shock. He remained where he was, looking down, somehow dreading to approach Harry. It was disturbing to see him so scared- weak, after all these years where he had bullied us and had built himself a reputation that would scare any first-year. And now, he looked just like his father- weak and pathetic.

"Draco!" Lucius hissed and gestured for his son to approach.

Reluctantly, he stopped a mere meter away from Harry, avoiding his angry eyes like plague.

"I'm not sure." He whispered, trying to step away.

Ignoring his son's attempt, Lucius grabbed his shoulder and pushed him further in front of Harry.

"Draco, we must be sure. If we deliver the boy to the Dark Lord, we will be rewarded, but we must-"

"Yer will not forget who caught the boy, mister Malfoy." Scabior interrupted, taking a step forward for Lucius to see him.

"How dare you defy my authority in my own house!"

The room fell silent for a minute, during which both parties seemed to refrain from killing each other. Eventually, Scabior stepped back and Lucius pushed Draco closer to Harry.

"Is it Potter?" He whispered.

It was a pathetic scene to see him openly imploring his son. The nobility of the Malfoy's house had faded away, leaving three wizards afraid and powerless. I could have pitied them, had they not been enemies.

"I can't tell- his face…"

"What did you do to him?" Lucius spat.

What if they realized he had been jinxed? They would know right away they had caught Harry.

" 'E! We didn' do nothin'! Was like that when we caught 'em."

"Of course, they cursed him, then? A Weasley - judging by the hair - and a stupid witch?"

"Shut up!" Ron struggled in his captor's arms, ready to jump on Lucius.

A snatcher kicked him in the stomach and ordered him to stay quiet, earning a grunt of discontent.

"Well, may'e she did. Looks too calm, 'm sure she knows." Scabior's eyes fell on me- his lustful eyes.

The shaking of my hands increased while the shiver which ran through my body made my captor cackle. When they had captured us in the forest, it had not been difficult to guess their intentions about- what to do with me. I just hoped they would not dare do such a thing.

"Draco?" Lucius asked once again, but Draco simply shook his lowered head and stepped back.

"It's- I don't think it's him." He whispered.

"C'mon on boy! Yer 'ave ter look closer!" Scabior stepped dangerously close to a frightened Draco.

"Don't talk to my son, you scum!"

Lucius paced to scabior and searched his robe for his wand- but when he withdrew it, it was empty, and he was powerless. Scabior rose his own wand threateningly.

"Ca'eful what yer say or-"

"What is all that fuss about?"

The drawing room doors had suddenly burst open, revealing a raven-black, curly mane. Bellatrix's.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

Why were they making so much noise? Did they not care about people trying to sleep! True- sun was up to noon, but they couldn't blame me for getting some well-deserved rest. After all, I was the one giving them clues about the trio's locations- when the mudblood's thoughts happened to tell something coherent, which was rare. Maybe Greyback had brought another dinner to the manor. He had been told not to, but rules - especially the Malfoy's - were of little concern to him.

The shouts were coming from the drawing room. Maybe it was one of those boring misunderstandings between Cissy and Lucius. Whatever was the actual reason for the cries, I was not going to pretend not to hear them. I went up the stairs three steps at a time and listened to every door. The drawing room doors were ajar, and I was surprised to hear Scabior shouting.

"C'mon on boy! Yer 'ave ter look closer!"

"Don't talk to my son, you scum!"

Why- was Draco there as well?

"Ca'eful what yer say or-"

Something had happened, and I had not been invited! Time to fix this. I burst the doors open, stepping into an unexpected scene.

"What is all that fuss about?"

Scabior had his wand aimed to Lucius's face, the latter trying to - failing to- protect Draco and Cissy, whom stood beside an ugly boy. His face was so swollen his left eye was forced closed, and he was breathing heavily through is deformed mouth.

"What is _that_?"

On the other side of the room, Greyback and three Snatchers stared at me, holding up two teens. The pathetically angry-looking boy was the Weasel, no doubt with a head so red. The girl, cowering behind her captor, apparently trying to hide from me, was looking around anxiously.

"Granger." I grinned as I closed the doors.

" _Granger?_ " Lucius spat, taken aback.

The Snatcher holding the girl turned her around to face me. She was so small and weak- just like I remembered. If she was here-

"You caught Potter?" I exclaimed.

How could stupid Snatchers have caught the boy-who-lived? I had been the one leading the Dark Lord to him and I would not even have the credit for his capture!

"We're not sure if it's him." Lucius corrected me sharply. "He doesn't look like Potter, and Draco-"

"It _is_ him." I interrupted, "They never leave him; the Weasel and the mudblood."

"Don't call her _that_!"

"Hit him." I ordered Greyback.

The blow echoed in the room while I strode to Potter. He was unrecognisable, indeed- but the scar was here, swollen but visible.

"What is wrong with his face? Who jinxed him?"

No one answered.

"Who jinxed him?" I roared.

"We found 'im like that." Scabior answered uncertainly.

"You did this, huh?"

I pointed my wand to the mudblood who squeaked and struggled to hide away.

"Well, let's call the Dark Lord, shall we?" I grinned.

There was no doubt now that it was Potter, and the sooner I handed him over to the Dark Lord, the greater I would be rewarded.

"I shall call him, Bellatrix."

Lucius stopped in front of me, holding his head up and straightening his spine to make me look even smaller. Well tried, bastard, but size doesn't matter; only strength and power do.

"Don't make me laugh, you're not worthy of demanding the Dark Lord's presence."

"Neither are you, Bellatrix. You are in my house, don't forget that!"

"I was the one to lead the Dark Lord to Potter! Someone helped me a bit, I admit."

My eyes drifted to the side, fixed on the mudblood's.

"Didn't you mudblood?"

* * *

 **Hermione**

She was mad, psychotic and dangerous. Her wand was still aimed at me, her crazy eyes rolling around and piercing through mine. I had tried to persuade me not to be scared, to convince me she was just a regular witch, only slightly more dangerous. Obviously, she was not. Her whole attitude, her way of moving and walking- everything was power and superiority. From the moment she had burst into the room, the memories of the Ministry two years ago hadn't stopped coming back- they had filled my mind, reality almost fading sometimes.

She had recognised me the second she had looked at me- I had seen it in her eyes. She had undoubtedly remembered that day in the Ministry. The way she stared at me almost lustfully, licking her lips like she was on the edge of devouring me.

"It _is_ him." Her words hit me, right in the stomach- I wanted to vomit.

There was no escape now, she knew and she would never let us go. She finally had what she had expected since she had escaped from Azkaban: she had Harry. Everything we had done, all the time spent camping in the forest to avoid Death Eaters and Snatchers, all those efforts ruined by Harry's pride. We had warned him so many times not to say _his_ name, and at some point, I had thought he had understood. But mentioning Bellatrix had been enough to have him lose control.

"Didn't you mudblood?"

Her unexpectedly soft voice took me out of my trance, and I realized everyone was staring at me. The Malfoys' bewilderment and frowning made me uneasy as I noticed Harry and Ron's look; it was one of confusion and annoyance. What had I missed? Maybe I had said something aloud- or maybe I was supposed to answer her.

"What are you talking about?" Lucius spat. "What has the mudblood to do with you?"

Alright- what was happening? What had that crazy witch said again?

"Oh, take that innocent look off your face- don't pretend you did nothing. I'm not the one who betrayed her friends! You lied to them and lead them to me- don't deny it!"

Ron's face had turned bright red and he would have jumped on Bellatrix if he had not been held down.

"Liar! You're just trying to separate us!" Ron accused her.

"Of course I am!" Bellatrix smirked and pointed an accusing finger to my face. "You think you know her? I know her more than you will ever know her. Her desires, her darkest secrets, her fears- I know everything."

She was lying so well that I would have been ready to believe her every word.

"She told me everything. When you- Weasel, you left, when you friends betrayed you. Oh, if you knew how happy they were when you left!"

"Shut up!" Ron struggled in the Snatcher's arms.

She was lying- she was lying! It was just a trick to tear us apart.

"You want to know why she helped me in the Ministry?"

"NO!" My voice was covered by her crazy cackling.

"She liked it- being dominated-"

"You're lying! I never wanted to help you!"

"She fancies the power of the Dark Arts. That's why she betrayed you!"

"Stop! LIAR!"

"She fancies me!" Bellatrix accused triumphantly.

How dared she-! She was turning everything her way, convincing my friends that I was a traitor. Silence had fell in the room, everyone holding their breath. I dared not look at Ron and Harry, instead staring at my feet through my tears. She had won again: it would be impossible now for the boys to trust me because they knew somehow that she was right.

"Oh, she did not tell you? The dark witch purred.

Her hand grabbed my chin and lifted it up, forcing me to look into her crazy eyes. "You did not tell them I was _here_?" Her sharp nails brushed my forehead.

"Don't-"

"I have seen it all, mudblood. I have lingered in your head since that day in the Ministry. From the moment I saw in your mind that you were weak- that you liked it!"

She still held me strongly, preventing me from looking away, from crossing my friends' confused eyes.

"You're lying. I would never betray them." I defended myself weakly.

"You did. You hid everything from them. You let me penetrate your mind and do everything I wanted with your naive little thoughts. And I should thank you for that."

She released my jaws and for a second I thought she was done with me. But the second after, I was lying on the cold floor, breath knocked out of my lungs.

"Well, well- weak as always, mudblood."

Her laugh filled my head, just like it did in my nightmares every night.

"Give me her wand, I've always wanted to remind her place to the mudblood."

My wand? What was she going to do with my wand? Considering her unpredictability, she could torture me with it or break it in half- either would humiliate me and destroy me. I tried to push myself up, not knowing what would be best to do- cower, run, face her? I could not leave Harry and Ron but I didn't know if they would protect me either. They had not expressed anything after what Bellatrix had said, and even now, I would have thought I was alone with the dark with for no one else dared to speak. Maybe they had all left, maybe we were indeed alone and I would not be humiliated in front of my enemies. Maybe I had blacked out and this was all a dream again. It was- it had to be a dream; I was going to wake up in my bed with Harry and Ron by my side, comforting me. I would not stand them mistrusting me. I needed them- I loved them. Why did she have to ruin everything with her sneaky mind? And why did I have to have those feelings about her? This mixing of hate and something I couldn't put my finger on, something she had seen as a fancy.

"Don't torture yourself, mudblood" Bellatrix kicked me in the stomach, pushing me down again, and paced around me slowly. "You are the only one to blame for your situation. I believe I asked for her wand! Where is-?"

She stopped abruptly, her heels a mere meter away from my face. I sat down turning my back to the boys and the Malfoys.

"Where did you get that?' Bellatrix's voice was a whisper.

One of the Snatchers was hidden behind her, I could not see him; but the atmosphere in the the room tensed up.

"We let you fix your troubles- I am calling the Dark Lord." I jumped when Lucius stepped suddenly in the middle of the scene.

"Give it." Bellatrix ordered coldly.

"Tis mine!"

The Snatcher stepped back. He was the one holding my bag, which I hoped I could manage to get back when we- _if_ we escaped. But something caught my eye- a glimpse of silver.

"No…"

They had the Sword of Gryffindor; and Bellatrix had seen it. Now, she would have her hands on it, shaking with what seemed to be anger and fear. The rage I saw in her eyes when she turned to me had me wish I could disappear and never see thoses eyes ever again.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

It was just there, right before me. The Sword of Gryffindor and its silver shining blade. In the hands of a filthy Snatcher. Fear overwhelmed me as I wondered how it had gotten here. The sword was supposed to be in my vault at Gringotts- the Dark Lord himself had placed it there; and it had been stolen.

I did not know why it was so important to be kept in my vault - the Dark Lord had not said much about it - but I knew I would be severely punished if He found out it had gone in Potter's hands.

It changed everything. We could not call Him now, I had to deal with the Sword first. What should I do, then? I turned to the rest of the room, my eyes falling on the mudblood at my feet. She had done it- as clever as she was, I was sure it had been her idea. How could I have not seen it! She was responsible and I would not be punished because of her!

"Don't call Him." I warned Lucius.

Ignoring his answer, I stunned two Snatchers, retrieving the Sword.

"What are you-?" Lucius stepped forward, his hand above his Dark Mark.

"Let me handle this or we're all dead."

I placed the Sword on the table, out of the trio's reach- and walked back to the center of the room.

"Cissy, take the boys down in the cellar- I'm going to have a little conversation with the mudblood."

As Cissy obeyed, and as the Weasel's cries faded, I grabbed a handful of the mudblood's hair and forced her to look at me.

"How did you get that sword?"

* * *

 **Hermione**

She cursed me again, for what seemed to be the hundredth time. The only thing I felt was pain, along with her raging voice filling the room.

"WHAT ELSE DID YOU TAKE?"

I could not help screaming, I could not speak which made her angrier. The whole world was just a blurred black and white picture hidden behind my tears.

"ANSWER ME!"

She released the spell, but the pain still did not stop. Every inch of my body was on fire, while my head felt like it was on the verge of exploding.

"I'll have you speak- no matter how long I have to torture you!"

The dark witch circled me, clenching her jaws and playing with her wand, weighing her options. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling, studying the faded paint to avoid the witch's eyes. The answers I had given her had not been enough, and I didn't know what else I could say, for Bellatrix had not believed the truth.

"Legilimens!"

My muscles contracted all at once and a faint whimper escaped me as she penetrated my mind. I saw my entire life pass before my eyes as I was unable to prevent it; I was too weak. Every memory - from my early childhood to the nightmares of the last months - was exposed to the cruel witch.

"Don't worry, I've already seen most of it." She cackled.

She saw the night where Ron left us, our intrusion in the Ministry, the night where we found the sword- she saw herself through my eyes, in my nightmares.

"You have not stolen the Sword, I give you that." She left my mind, stopped pacing around me and knelt to my side. "But it is the real Sword. You cannot lie to me."

I faced the other way, shaking my head silently as to make her disappear. I just wished I was far away from her, that I was not suffering anymore and that she didn't know so much about me.

"What was it again?" Bellatrix purred.

I suddenly felt her move, climbing on top of me and pressing her wand to my throat. Just like in the Ministry- she knew it.

" _Would she carve it on my skin, it would never be as humiliating as this moment when I heard it and believed it_." She whispered in my ear.

I swallowed hard and remained head to the side, trying not to remember this painful conversation.

"You're lying to yourself. You know that's not what happened."

Her hand trailed down my arm to my wrist, clenching it hard.

"But you have good ideas."

The moment she spoke I felt a tingle where she was touching me which suddenly turned into sharp pain. I attempted to turn my head to see what was happening but she maintained it against the floor, leaving me to scream and struggle under her.

"Please, stop!"

Her sharp nails were digging into my cheek. Blood trickled down my face, mingling with my tears. I heard her laugh- it's the last thing I heard before my brain shut down.

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

If this Sword was indeed the real one, how come they had _found_ it? Snape had guaranteed the one in my vault to be the real one; he had sworn it to the Dark Lord. He had lied obviously, he had betrayed His trust. I knew he was not on our side anymore.

"I'll kill him with his fake sword, that bastard." I hissed.

The mudblood under me was unconscious. I contemplated the bleeding skin of her forearm where the word 'mudblood' was carved deeply. It would never disappear, only scar and remind her everyday how unworthy she was. The thought made me grin.

"Get me the boys Wormtail." I stood up and kicked the girl aside for good measure. "There is only one more matter to attend to before we call the Dark Lord." I warned a very impatient Lucius.

I wanted to break them. Potter would die anyway as soon as the Dark Lord would come, but the Weasel's fate was uncertain. Should he live a little longer than his friend, I'd better enjoy myself as much as I could.

"Hermione!"

The red-haired scum leaped toward the girl but I repelled him with a flick of my wand.

"On your knees."

Wormtail forced the boys on the floor, his hands on their napes. Both pairs of eyes were fixed on the mudblood at my feet.

"You were lucky enough to find the Sword," I spat, pacing back and forth around the girl, "but it is over now. Thanks to _that_."

I pointed at the unconscious girl, enjoying the look of misunderstanding on their faces.

" She betrayed you, lied to you, hid things from you for two years."

"You're lying! She would never-!"

"Silencio!"

Potter's voice died out immediately but he continued to mouth insults.

"She knew I could read her mind and she did nothing against it. She shared her deepest thoughts and every single valuable information with me- which led to you being here, Potter. She is the reason you will die today!"

"Shut up!" The Weasel tried to stand up but Wormtail maintained him down. He was boiling with rage. Good.

"Oh, I would not dare if I were you." I knelt down next to the mudblood and placed the tip of my knife to her untouched arm. "There is still skin for me to play with."

And as I spoke, I plunged the blade deep and sliced her skin to form another word.

"Stop! I'll kill you!"

"Incarcerous!"

Ropes entangled around the boys, preventing them from standing up. Under my knife, the mudblood moaned from pain but remained unconscious- not for long, though. Life came back into her eyes, as well as fear the moment she looked at me.

"Look who's BACK!" I carved the last letter in her arm, delighting myself with her painful cries.

All of a sudden, Cissy's voice called my name, and I jumped aside quickly to avoid the crystal chandelier falling right on the mudblood.

* * *

 **Hermione**

I did not really understand what was happening. My whole body was numb from the endless pain and my blurred vision hid me everything. All I knew was that something heavy and sharp hit me. Shards of crystal digged into my skin, on my arms, on my face. I heard Ron call my name, though it seemed so distant I thought it was a dream. The second after, I was pulled up and held in Ron's arms, barely able to stand on my feet. Every step was hell, with crystal penetrating my skin and the urge to vomit always stronger.

"You could have killed me!"

Hearing her shrieking voice had my hands shake violently, and I would have collapsed on the floor had Harry not helped me up. Then I thought I had blacked out again, but we soon found ourselves on soft sand after apparating. I threw up. My head was on the verge of exploding.

"Hermione!" Ron tightened his hold on my shoulders and brushed my hair softly. "I'm so sorry, Hermione. So sorry that we couldn't stop her."

I barely registered his words. My stomach clenched suddenly and I threw up again. Bile was burning my throat.

"Ron! Hermione!"

I recognized Bill's voice coming from far, far away. Where had we arrived? And Harry? Where was he?

"What happened? Is she okay?" Fleur kneeled by my side and placed a gentle hand on my nape. "Take her inside, quickly."

Bill and Ron carried me to a small cottage by the beach. Its roof was covered in shells. That's everything my brain registered before they laid me down on the couch. I could see their faces. They were worried, angry, disgusted and pained- all at once.

"What happened, Ron?" Fleur's voice broke in sobs.

"She tortured her- Bellatrix."

There was a heavy silence and Bill and Fleur exchanged a horrified look.

"I'll heal her wounds." Fleur sat beside me and helped me remove my jacket. "Bill, get me a blood-replenishing potion, I think we have some left."

Bill left the room, leaving Ron and Fleur watching me pant heavily and discovering my bleeding forearms. I did not know what she had done to my skin- I only knew it hurt like hell.

"Mon dieu, Hermione…" Fleur gasped and avoided my eyes when I searched hers.

What? What had she done to me? I turned my head to look and discovered two bleeding words written in an uneven, childish way. Here, right under my eyes were the words "filth" and "mudblood", carved right onto my skin like an animal tattooed for slaughter.

"Can you not make it disappear?" Ron asked angrily.

"I will try but…"

Fleur inhaled deeply and rose her wand over my arms, forming circles. Light blue strings of magic flowed down on my skin, I hissed in pain. Bill came back with a small green bottle which he handed to Fleur.

"Here," she brought it to my lips and made me drink the whole bottle, "this will make you feel better."

Her wand was still healing my arms, and even though the skin was actually healing, the words were still there. The skin was much lighter than the rest of my arm, it was impossible not to miss them. Fleur retrieved her wand.

"I'm sorry, it's all that can be done."

"No! You have to make that disappear!" Ron was furious.

"Ron, you know Bellatrix, she is cruel. She probably put a spell on that knife." Bill tried to calm his down.

They would never go away. Never. All my life I would be a filthy mudblood; it was written on my skin.

"Scourgify."

Even Bill's spell did not alter the scar's color. There was no way.

"Where's Harry?" I suddenly asked.

"Out there, but he will-"

A loud ticking cut him short, and the three of them spun around to look on the wall. Their eyes were fixed on a great wooden clock, but it was no ordinary clock. Instead of usual hands, the clock possessed ten hands with the faces of all the Weasleys, and instead of numbers were information such as "school", "work" or "travelling". And right now, Molly's and Arthur's were pointing to "mortal peril".

"Ron!" The latter had stormed outside before his brother could hold him back, taking out Fleur's wand.

I stood up, ignoring Fleur's advices, and followed the boys outside where they were arguing.

"I'll come with you, I'm sure it's _her_." Harry spat out.

"I'm coming with you."

"No," Ron ordered, "you are hurt, you stay here with Fleur and we'll come back soon."

"What if you don't?" I pleaded. "What if they capture you again?"

"Don't worry, Hermione, they will be fine." Fleur brushed the back of my head.

How could I just let them go- I had to be with them.

"Let's go, we must hurry."

Bill seized Harry and Ron's hands and they apparated. We were left alone in the wind, worrying if they would come back unscathed- or if they would come back at all.

"Come, Hermione, you need to rest."

I could not rest, I could not just rest when the boys were risking their lives! But I had to face reality: I could not follow them there either. I stumbled to my knees, holding my head in my hands. Fleur helped me up into the cottage and back on the couch where I let myself fall. Somehow, my eyes eventually closed and I fell slightly asleep, but hearing nonetheless Fleur's voice brushing my ear and comforting me. I thought for a minute that I would be able to sleep a little, but soon images started to overwhelm me. Bellatrix torturing me, her mad laugh filling my head and the smell of blood all over me.

"Hermione!"

I opened my eyes and fell face to face with Fleur shaking me up.

"What is it? Have they come back?" I asked eagerly, attempting to stand up.

"No, no." Fleur pushed me down gently on the couch and brushed sweat out off my face. "You were having spasms and you were mumbling. You scared me."

Would I ever be able to sleep without her haunting my nights? Without nightmares constantly remembering me how horrible she was?

"I'll make us some tea." Fleur left the room after giving me a warm smile.

My eyes closed again and my breath calmed a little. My throat was so sore from crying and screaming- tea would be heaven. I suddenly had an idea and walked to the clock. Maybe it would do something if Ron and Bill were to be… It was too hard imagining they could die. Dizziness made the whole room spin madly, I held on to the wall to prevent a fall.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A cold wind ran through my bones as I looked up at the sound of her voice. She was right there, on the doorway! No, she was not, this was just a nightmare again. I tried to wake up, but this was just like every other nightmare- I could not; she maintained it there, in my head.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up…"

"Don't torture yourself, mudblood." She grinned, taking a step toward me menacingly. "I'll do it for you."

Wait, who had she aimed for? Her spell- who had been her target? I already knew the answer when I turned and discovered Fleur's body on the floor. Her eyes wide in surprise, the mugs scattered by her side.

"Why- get out of my head!" I shouted. "Leave me alone! GET OUT!"

But when I opened my eyes again, Bellatrix was just right in front of me. Her mischievous smile curving her lips, a light of madness in her eyes. This was like the time I thought I had killed Harry, the time Bellatrix had invaded my mind so deeply that everything had seemed real- this was one of those times.

"Pathetic." She slapped me.

The blow was indeed powerful, but what struck me was how real it seemed to be- how painful it was.

"You're starting to get it, now. Good." Bellatrix's sharp nail stroked my cheek as realisation fell upon me. She was there. How- I didn't know, but she was right there, and-

"Fleur…" I gasped in despair.

"Yes, she's dead- so sad, really." The dark witch grabbed a handful of my hair and looked at me defiantly. "And so will you."

She pulled me through the room and outside, pushing me on my knees in the sand. I could not even defend myself, I had no wand, and I had no idea when the boys would come back; if they ever would. _Come on get up, defend yourself, you can do it, you're strong enough-_

"Stop thinking, you're giving me a headache with all your stupid thoughts. Of course you're not strong enough to fight me, filth."

She just stood there, waiting for the boys to return, so she could kill them just like she had killed Fleur. What was she going to do with me then?

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	12. Don't Leave Me Alone Again

I'm back! So I nailed my exams and now I have to prepare everything for next year because I'm studying abroad, so the summer might be a little of a chaos for me, but I promise you'll have at the very least one chapter (I know it's not much, I'll do my best I swear, I'll write in the plane)!

I leave you to your reading, and please just check the end of the chapter, I'll have an important question for you. Enjoy!

* * *

CHAPTER 12: Don't Leave Me Alone Again.

 **Bellatrix**

I stunned the Weasels as soon as they apparated on the beach. The taller one didn't have the time to react, however the younger one dodged the spell and cast a protego.

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

He was running to me, blinded by hatred and pain; he was so predictable.

"Now- you wouldn't want your girlfriend to be harmed would you?" I grabbed the girl's shoulder to keep her from struggling to her feet.

The ginger-head cast another useless spell. I let him come to me- closer, closer until he was ten feet away; only then did I cursed him. Red sparkles hit his chest and he felt screaming on the sand, his wand flying right at my feet. I picked it up and slipped it in my dress.

"No!" The mudblood squeaked and attempted to stand.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere, you stay here and watch him suffer, just like he watched you."

I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me as I knelt in front of her. I did not really know what pushed me to act so… vulnerably, with her. I had never knelt in front of a mudblood before, even to hurt them. This time, I had this strange feeling pushing me towards her, pushing me to make her suffer like I had never caused pain before. I wanted her- I needed her to suffer, cry and beg for a mercy I would never offer her, to be burnt everywhere by my hand, to bear traces of my hatred and of my cruelty on her filthy skin.

"I want you to watch every bone in his body break until I'm through with him." I hissed as I turned her head towards the agonizing boy. "Where is Potter?"

"Far away! You'll- ah! You'll never find him!"

"Where. Is. He?" The girl whimpered when my fingers clenched tighter and tighter on her already bleeding cheeks.

But he did not answer. Whether it was an act of defiance or submission to pain, he simply did not utter a word and kept screaming. Losing Potter again had definitely not been in my plan, and it was now obvious I would be punished too. What was I going to do with those two? Maybe killing them right now was not the solution, not before the Dark Lord could have a try with them and decide of their fate. It was so annoying! I wished I could just end them here and now, not bothering to carry them to the Manor and keep them lock in a cell. What was the fun in watching them rot slowly?

"Please, stop it!"

I left my thoughts and came back to reality, noticing the girl's hold on my wrist, trying to free herself from my grip. How dared she touch me? Next second, I was up, watching her crouch over the Weasel. Pathetic.

"Alright." I grunted. "I'm taking you back, and you will speak out, Weasel."

He ignored my comment and kept whispering into the girl's ear. Oh, how I craved to see him dead!

"This time, the Dark Lord himself will kill you." I clenched to girl's shoulders as I leaned close to them. "And I shall have fun torturing your stupid girlfriend again, and you won't be there to stop me."

I seized his shoulder as well and we apparated back to Malfoy Manor. Cissy was waiting for me at the front door. She was even paler than usual; this was not good at all.

"He is waiting for you."

* * *

 **Hermione**

Narcissa closed the door of the cellar and ran up the stairs, her steps fading away, leaving us in the dark.

"Oh, Ron I'm so sorry." Our hands were intertwined on his chest, his head rested on my knees and my fingers brushed his bleeding forehead. "I should have come with you."

"No, no it was-"

He looked away, staring blankly at the mossy wall. And he told me. He told me everything that happened at the burrow. It seemed to me that I could see the scene happening before my eyes. I saw Ron apparate along with Bill and Harry, falling into the trap the Death Eaters had settled for them. I saw Ron's parents on their knees a moment before Bellatrix's killing curse hit them. I felt the break in my heart when they fell limply on the burnt grass. Bellatrix had had what she had wanted, they had given her our location, Shell Cottage. They had not been able to resist the Imperius curse, they had been compelled to betray the Order and it was the last image Ron had of his parents now. I saw the fight, the boys dangerously outnumbered, devastated by the Weasleys' death. They were losing, they were separated and wounded. I could almost feel the tears fall on my cheeks when Ron begged Harry to disapparate without them, to go to a safe place far away from danger. And he did. Even Ron did not know where he went. He could be dead by now, no one would ever know. We might never see him again.

* * *

When I woke up, the cell was even darker than before, I could not see anything. Only a single ray of light came from a tiny opening in the wall, where I could not even fit a finger. I felt weird, like haunted by something. The feeling usually crept in my body when I had nightmares, I did not recall having a nightmare during the last hours. Scraps of memories and foreign situations floated in my mind, _she_ was there of course but it did not feel like a nightmare. Her voice echoed in my brain, her screams. Goosebumps crawled on my skin, I did feel something. I felt pain in my limbs, my back, my head. It had to be because of the Cruciatus curse. I did not know why, I felt it was not the only reason.

A door creaked open in the corridor, and soon a bright light illuminated the cell. It was small, mossy and wet, dirty, uncomfortably cold. Empty. Completely empty apart from what looked like a dead rat in a corner.

"Ron…" Where was he? He had been there with me, where had they taken him?

Heels clicked on the stones, coming closer and closer. It was hers, I would recognize it anytime. She was coming to get me, to torture me again. I was certainly going to die, humiliated before a taunting lot of Death Eaters. Her shadows projected on the wall grew smaller with each step until it was exactly her size. The second after she appeared before the cell and almost ran past the door. She disappeared again in the corridor. I frowned. Was she not there for me? She had completely ignored me, as if I was not even there. Maybe she had not seen me, maybe she was not going to hurt me. But then, she would hurt Ron.

"Ron?" I whispered, in the hope that he was not too far.

No answer came. The sound of a door being unlocked, the rustling of clothes. She crossed the corridor again, this time she was pushing Ron in front of her. He looked terrible.

"Ron!"

I attempted to stand up -to do what, I did not know at all - but my legs had given up all effort and had given in to the weariness.

"Shut up."

"RON!"

The door closed and everything went dark again. I had to admit that I was… taken aback by her behaviour. She had always seemed to be angry and resentful towards me, she had invaded my mind and had released her violence and anger on me. Why- suddenly it seemed like I was just a common mudblood to her, just a helpless girl she would have a little fun with here and there. Even her insults did not sound convincing- it had sounded weak and weary.

Was I really complaining about the most dangerous Death Eater not giving me attention? Was I desiring more attention? No! Of course not! Was I going crazy then?

* * *

Time had seemed to stop. Every second was the same, I could not feel minutes or hours passing by. It was always dark, cold and wet. I did not know what had been the source of the light coming from the hole in the wall, but it had disappeared soon after my arrival, leaving me in complete darkness. The only dim light I would catch eventually was that of the hallway when Bellatrix came down there. Even the meals appeared out of thin air and apparently at random hours, confusing me even more. Sometimes the food would appear twice a day, sometimes it felt like days before any piece of bread would pop in the cell.

The solitude was the worst of all. I could handle being treated harshly, if I had someone with me to rely on each other. But alone, with no answers from Ron… His face haunted my nights along with Bellatrix's, I could hear him scream under her curses and beg to be killed. But everytime she came and took him upstairs, I could not hear a sound. There was no noise from Ron's cell, none from upstairs or from any part of the manor. As if the whole place was dead.

* * *

I spent my days and nights trying to sleep, trying to find a way out of there. The same thoughts were turning endlessly in my mind, keeping me awake and unable to concentrate. Where was Harry, how was he, was he alive, how was Ron, what was she doing to him, why was she ignoring me constantly, why did I feel like I was not even alive anymore? It went to the point where I was craving for any attention, just a look from her, to prove me I was really there, that I had not been killed by this mad witch, that I was not a ghost. How long had I been here? A week - a month? At this point, anything seemed possible.

* * *

One time the door opened, but it was not her footsteps on the stairs. It was the first time that another Death Eater came down there; usually only Bellatrix came. He was hidden behind his mask and paced quickly towards Ron's cell. And stopped. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned slightly towards me. His mask did not allow me to see his expression but the tension and the way his back straightened reflected surprise and confusion. It suddenly crossed my mind that maybe only Bellatrix was aware of my presence. No, she had told Voldemort obviously, she could not hide it from him. The man muttered something and disappeared towards Ron's cell. Maybe I was indeed invisible…

* * *

My throat was dreadfully dry and rough, every breath was painful. Like sandpaper scratching against my skin. How long had it been since my last glass of water? It usually appeared along with the food, but for a few times now, there was only bread. If they wanted to starve me, they had succeeded. I had never felt so weak. Everything was a blur, it was impossible to know what was a dream, what was real. My back against the wet stones was all I knew was real. Lying in the dark, I missed Ron. I missed Harry, my parents, my friends, the teachers - really, even in this situation I still sounded like the know-it-all everybody hated. I would have smiled, had it not required strengths I did not have.

* * *

What was the point of all this? Was the fight worth this suffering? Or shouldn't I give up and just lie there, abandon this fight I was losing? She had won, she had broken me, and no matter how hard I tried to fight back, to stand back up, she always won. I thought that I was strong enough - that we were strong enough - to defeat them; but it appeared now we had failed. I wanted to break down that door and kill Voldemort myself, take the opportunity to kill them all at once. I still had a sparkle of will and hope hidden deep down in my heart, but it was terribly small, and if she found out where it was, it would not take much for her to destroy it.

* * *

There was a sound, a very weak creaking. It seemed the door had been pushed gently open. Blinding light engulfed in the corridor and I had to turn my head away. A few moments passed in silence before the door was loudly slammed against the wall. I jumped in surprise and managed not to make a sound. I knew it was _her_ somehow, and I knew she was not coming for me. Yet I could not resist turning back towards the corridor and wait. She appeared in front of the cell, all I could see was her boots.

"Get up." Her voice was sharp but low, almost a whisper.

She had come for me? What had her change her mind? What was she going to do to me?

"You'll see that soon enough, now get up!"

She kicked the door of the cell open, I waited for the blow to come; but it never came. She simply stood above me, our eyes connected. Her evil smile was gone, I could not quite tell what her expression was, except from the frowning of her eyebrows betraying anger. Somehow she appeared even more dangerous when she was calm than when she was all mad, cackling around and torturing people. Yet I remained on the floor. Hope had faded but it did not mean I would let her win so easily. I did not intended to give up, even though my brain currently told me it would be wiser.

"Merlin's sake, get up."

It shocked me, how calm she was. It was not the Death Eater I knew who had haunted me for years.

"Want to stay on the ground, mudblood? Fine. Where's Potter?"

Relief overwhelmed me. Harry was safe, out of Voldemort's reach, possibly destroying the remaining horcruxes.

"Crucio."

I instantly expected the excruciating pain I knew so well. Instead, I felt a sharp tingle, more like a headache. It was indeed painful but it was nothing compared to what I had prepared myself for. Was her motivation for violence really this low? I had learned it- the more powerful and determined you felt, the more effective the spell. There was definitely no motivation in her Cruciatus curse falling flat just like her insults. Then maybe she was not angry at _me_. She did not seem willing to hurt me, as if she had been forced to come here. Usually, the sight of my poor self at her mercy would have cheered her up in an instant, and yet it seemed she didn't care at all.

"It's useless, you don't know anything." She muttered and released the spell.

Useless? Had I just heard Bellatrix Lestrange saying torture was _useless_? There was definitely something wrong with her - but that I did not care, what mattered was the importance this problem had with the rest of us. Did her behaviour come from Voldemort's plan of any sort? Was there something severe going on that threatened us- the Order of the Phoenix? Was I going to be killed because of my uselessness?

"What am I going to do with you…"

She knelt in front of me and grabbed my chin, lifted my eyes up to hers. The black of her irises was so dark and deep, I felt I could lose myself in it.

"You're just like the others." She was studying my face, looking up and down my body. "Weak. Useless." There was no anger or exasperation in her eyes, there was only boredom. "You think you're worth something. You think you're strong and brave." Her eyes stared at me blankly, she seemed away- absent, almost. "I could do anything with you, you would not even react. You don't have the courage to fight." Her nails scratched my chin as she attracted me dangerously close to her face. Why was I indeed not reacting? I should have already been on my feet, pushing her away! I knew why. Because she was the only presence I had had contact with in probably weeks, because I desperately needed human interactions. "Go on. Show me what you can do, mudblood." The temptation was strong but she was just waiting for it, so that she could punish me in return- I was not going to play that little game of hers. I let her stare at me impassively. She was in no hurry to leave, for we remained silent for long minutes. Many different thoughts crossed my mind and I decided to use the silence to attempt and close my mind to her. I tried to remember Harry's explanations on occlumency and focused on building a mental wall around my thoughts. The frowning of her brows was the proof that I was ever so slightly succeeding. It also proved me that she was constantly reading my mind, at least when we were in the same room. How much did she know about me? She had said she knew everything of my fears, desires, secrets- but was it all true? "What is troubling you, mudblood?" The proximity was oppressive and I could not detach my eyes from hers. My body swayed back instinctively but she kept me close to her strongly. "Your blood traitor friend used to talk a lot- mostly insults I must say." She knew what to say to irritate me, and this time the smile on her face was one of genuine madness. "Of course he's so weak now he can't even look at me without peeing himself! He's just like you. Worthless and-" Hearing this madwoman talk about Ron in those words was the last thing I could handle in the state I was. Never mind the game I wanted to avoid and the temptation I needed to resist, all that mattered in this instant was Ron's honor as well as mine. So I just spat in her face. It was the best I could do now considering our closeness and the wand pointed at my face, but I was convinced it was all that was needed to unleash the beast inside of her. Saliva was dripping on her bony cheek but she did not seem to care. Actually she did not react at all. I noticed a slight twitching of her left eyes, almost imperceptible.

"Such a disappointment." Her slim fingers slipped away from my face as she was standing up, and it was only then I realized how tired I had been. With her hand not maintaining me up anymore, my arms gave up to my weight and I crashed on my stomach. Breath was sucked out of my lungs.

Bellatrix slammed the door shut and glanced at me through the bars of the cell. While having her leave should have been a relief, I actually found myself even more scared than when she had been threatening me seconds before. Being alone again was the last thing I wanted, and if she could keep me company - a terrible idea, I conceded it - then it was better than solitude. But of course, I didn't want her to stay with me. I wanted Ron.

"Don't leave me alone." The words had left my mouth before I could hold them back, and I blushed instantly. It was not the way I meant to say it. I didn't want her to believe I needed her. "Please, let me see Ron." _Good recovery._

Bellatrix turned back to me, smiling again, and slipped her wand in her holster casually.

"When it is over," She let her nails dance gracefully on the pale skin of her cheek, "I will be there to watch you cry over your dead friends. I will see the light die in your eyes. My face shall be the last thing you will see when you leave this wretched world."

* * *

It had been another week - or had it just been a day? - of starvation and solitude. Breathing, sleeping, thinking, breathing again and again- it was all I was capable of doing. Was it what death was like? Lying in the dark, alone, forever.

She was not even coming down there anymore, not even for Ron. They probably had forgotten about the poor, useless teenagers in the cellar, and they let us rot in here.

"You're pathetic, mudblood."

 _Shut up! Stop invading my mind all the time._ Her voice constantly reminded me of how worthless I was- _I know it, you don't need to tell me again, it is carved on my skin!_ I hated her so much. I found myself wishing to slit her throat and watch her die slowly, laughing and screaming at her face all the insults I knew.

"Oh, baby muddy trying to be brave…"

 _Merlin, shut up!_ The cell remained silent this time. She would come back sometimes- she was the only company I had after all.

The door to the cellar suddenly opened. Was _she_ coming? I whised I was capable of at least crawling further against the back wall to put as much distance as possible between us. I hoped she had not decided to tease me like last time, because I would not even have the strength to spit on her face again. This time, she would probably not let it go so easily.

"She'll kill us!"

"If you're such a coward then watch the door!"

These were male voices, muffled by masks. Were they coming for Ron or for me? It proved at least that they had not forgotten us.

"You won't get anything, I tell you."

"Well, He needs information and we don't have nothing- we improvise. I'm sure she didn't try hard enough."

They were getting closer. So they wanted information... Who would kill them? 'She' did not leave a lot of choices: Bellatrix of Narcissa. _Bellatrix then_.

"Watch the door, we'll do it."

The door closed after one of the men was gone out, while the others kept on walking. There was most likely two of them, none of them I knew, based on their voices. I had better stay still and not attract attention; maybe I had a chance to disappear in the darkest corner.

"Wake up!"

One of the men, the tallest, kicked the door of the cell. I cowered further back against the wall in fear. They were dangerous, in some way even more than Bellatrix. She was predictable, I knew what she wanted to do with me and I knew what fate awaited me when she crossed the door. But I knew nothing of those men, or what they were capable of; and I didn't want to be alone with them to find it out.

"C'mon, we don't have all day."

The tallest man opened the door and pointed his wand at me while the other walked next to me. I remained on the floor - I had no choice - and it seemed to irritate them.

"Where's Potter?" The man on my left knelt in front of me and pulled me up to sit against the wall. He was not wearing his mask, I could see his eyes filled with fear and anger. The other one still had his mask on and remained at a fair distance.

"Where is he?" He repeated eagerly.

Where was Harry? It took me a moment to process the question and remember I had no idea where he was. I could not recall why he was gone; was it my fault? Had he decided to defeat Voldemort on his own? No, it couldn't be. It had been such a long time since I had last seen him… Did I even remember what he looked like?

"You know it, now tell us, mudblood!" My throat was so terribly dry that no sound came out when the man punched me in the face. After what I had suffered with Bellatrix, this felt just gentle.

They kept asking questions, some of it I did not even understand. And I remained silent, for I could not utter a word. I was not even able to form proper sentences in my mind. Sometime they argued on what to ask or what to do to make me talk, while I was wishing for something to get me out of there; anything.

"We don't have time to waste. Do it." The masked one nodded.  
"Crucio!"

* * *

I had blacked out. When I regained consciousness, I was still in the cell and the two Death Eaters were still there, but the pain was gone. I had not felt this much pain in weeks, which now seemed like ages ago.

"She's back?"

The unmasked man shook my shoulder. How long had I been unconscious?

"She's useless, she won't say nothing."

"She knows something!" The masked one yelled, pulling the other man up. "We need what she knows. And she will talk."

"She won't, look at her! The mad bitch already tried everything!"

"She lied, I'm sure. She didn't try hard enough- she never does."

The masked man pushed the other away and removed his own mask, revealing a young face, but though no less angry.

"I'm not playing your game anymore."

Everything happened in a blur, but the next second I was pulled up, dangerously staggering on my feet and threatening to fall at any moment. The man held me strongly by the shoulders. _Now is time to panic_. His face was close to mine, too close. _You're going to die_. His wand pointed at my chest seemed to burn my skin. _Panic now!_

"If you don't answer, you'll end up just like your stupid boyfriend! Hear me, I will-!"

My heartbeat was so terribly fast, and I was focused so hard on finding a way out that I didn't realize immediately that he had stopped yelling at me. His face was frozen in a deformed expression of rage, he was not moving anymore. I glanced at the other man and he was pale as a sheet, looking at the man's face as well. Did I blackout again? Was my brain not registering something? The man's grip on my shoulders slightly loosened and he made a strange sound, sort of a hoarse breathing. He suddenly started to fall very slowly, almost in slow motion, with his eyes still fixed on mine. There, on his forehead, a thin trail of blood was flowing down between his eyes. And when the light from the corridor reached his head, it reflected brightly on the silvery point of a blade. The man collapsed at my feet and I now could see the handle of the dagger coming out at the back of his head; I knew this handle. When I looked up, hyperventilating, _she_ was leaning against the wall smiling and playing with her wand. She killed him. She threw her dagger right through his head, had she missed a few inches it could have hurt me! He was dead, a man was dead at my feet, _stay calm and breath_. This was not something I had been prepared for; it was nothing like seeing corpses in movies, because it was real, because you did not know what it really was to see a man die in his own blood, and because no movies could make you feel the intense smell of blood invading your nose. It was a miracle – more likely adrenaline – that I was still on my feet.

"I told you not to come here." Bellatrix remained where she stood, contemplating the dead man on the floor.

"How long have you been here?" He was scared, he was really scared of her. I didn't know she was scaring even her allies.

"Since you walked through that door. You didn't think I would let you hurt her?"

I let myself slide down the wall until I was sure I could not sink any further into the floor; I barely registered their conversation.

"So it's true, you protect her! She's a mudblood, what's wrong with you?"

"I protect her from idiots like you who don't listen to the Dark Lord's wishes. She will be interrogated when He decides, she will be killed when He gives the order, and certainly not by scum like you!"

"He already demanded you to kill her."

"Don't speak of what you don't know."

There was a ray of green light followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor. The second Death Eater was lying down a few feet away from me; this time there was no blood on the ground.

"It almost looks like _you_ killed them." Bellatrix grinned from behind the bars and I looked up at her. "Don't give me those pleading eyes, I didn't do it for you."

She laughed to herself and started to walk away. She was not leaving me there with two dead men!

"Right, the bodies." She walked back to the cell. "Well, I'm not in the mood right now. Maybe I'll come and collect them later. Enjoy your new friends."

On that she left. Her laugh was still filling up the cell long after she was gone, a horrifying sound which kept me awake, along with the blood flowing all over the floor.

* * *

The smell of death was now unbearable. Bellatrix had never come back, nor had anyone else. I had crawled to the opposite corner of the cell, putting as much distance as I could between the men and I, after throwing up an immeasurable number of time. Their faces haunted my nights, I was afraid they were not actually dead and that they would wake up at any moment and jump on me.

I wished it was all over. No matter the outcome, I just wanted to get out of there. It was already hard to stay conscious and alive, but the worse was how solitude had affected me. The Bellatrix I saw in the cell or in my dreams, was she real? How could I still know what was reality and what was the figment of my imagination? Maybe I had gone crazy and nothing of this was real, maybe I was not in this cell and it was just a mind trick. Maybe I was as insane as she was.

* * *

The corridor seemed endless and my step awfully small and slow. I had just passed by my cell and continued walking in the dark. Ron's cell couldn't be too far. There was no sound except for the fast beating of my heart. I'd better hurry before a Death Eater found me there. Empty cells followed each other, all dirtier than the one before.

"Hermione?" It was Ron's voice! "Hermione help me!"

I walked faster, watching in every cell apprehensively. I hoped he was not too injured.

"Hermione!"

His voice was close, only a few cells away. Just a few more feet and-!

"Ouch!" I was stopped by a wall which had seemed to appear out of thin air. There was no way to avoid it.

"Ron?"I waited a few seconds but there was no answer. "Ron!"

Where was he? I would never find him here, I was lost and he could be anywhere.

"RON!"

* * *

 **Bellatrix**

"RON!"

 _Damn, shut up!_ The girl had been peacefully sleeping, and now she had to ruin everything! I quickly retrieved my dagger from Rodolphus' skull and slipped it back in my dress. He had what he deserved, I did not regret it any second.

There was no time to lose, the Dark Lord awaited me in the drawing room. So I simply glanced at Dolohov in the corner, making sure I had not forgotten to steal anything from his dead body, and then turned back to the girl. All I needed to do was move her over into the Weasel's cell, and cast a Muffliato and it should do.

"Get up, hurry. I don't have time to waste with you." I grabbed the girl's arm and attempted to pull her up but she resisted. She still had strength, that filth.

"If you don't get up, I'll have to kill you, do you hear-?"

I was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming against the wall. _Shit._

"Bella?"

Why did Cissy have to come down there now! Thinking fast, I released the girl's arm and smashed her head against the wall. Not hard enough to kill her, just enough to make her sleep deeply for several hours, if not days. Cissy's steps got closer, I just had time to cast a Disillusionment charm on the girl before my sister appeared in front of the cell.

"Bella, the Dark Lord is waiting for you."

"I know, I'm coming." I grunted.

"What are you doing?" She was suspicious, not just curious. She suspected I was up to something.

"Getting my blade back from this imbecile's head." I waved at Rodolphus.

Cissy frowned in disgust but regained composure almost immediately. _A real Lady._

"Where's the girl?"

"With the Weasel."

"You'll deal with all of this," She waved at the bodies, "and with the kids tomorrow, right?"

"I told you, I will, stop asking me all the time."

I walked out of the cell and closed the door behind me, glancing one last time at the spot where the girl was lying unconscious.

"We'll exposed them to their friends, showing them what fate awaits the mudbloods and blood traitors."

Tonight, we would defeat Potter, the Order, the Light. And tomorrow would start the rightful reign of the Dark Lord.

* * *

So, I have been wondering for a while about my writing. Even though I write almost exclusively in English, I often doubt my literary capacities. I feel I tend to repeat the same expressions, to use the same verbs... I wanted your view on the matter, and I'm not of those people "tell me I write so well I'm genius", I just need an outer view on my writing style. So tell me honestly what is bad and what is good, how I could improve maybe. Note that English is not my native language, so vocabulary is often the biggest barrier I have when writing.  
Waiting for your answers, 'til next time!


	13. Not The Freedom We Had Expected

Hi! I was quite busy with my new life but I managed to write you something. Some more is coming, though I don't know when I'll update for now. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

 _CHAPTER 13: Not The Freedom We Had Expected_

 **Bellatrix**

It was over now. The Dark Lord was dead, and that little Potter cockroach had survived. I never thought I could feel so much pain in my life, when I saw him fall in the Great Hall, and the light in his eyes died. I had loved him, I had given my life and  
/faith for him; and he was gone.

There was not a second to lose now, the rest of us was outnumbered and when the moment of shock would pass everyone would realize we were still alive. Not looking back to the others, I rushed out of the Great Hall towards the front gates. I should have  
/stayed and killed Potter, I should have tried! But it appeared I was too scared to try. Giving my life for a lost cause was not in my plans, all I wanted now was to find a safe place to live the years I still had- those Azkaban stole from me. I did  
/not intend to give up the Dark Lord's belief, not for anything, and I would still try to kill Potter when I'd have the opportunity. However I was not going to risk everything just for this boy.

What I really wanted was freedom. Liberty to do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to. The freedom I had not had since I was seventeen, the one the Dark Lord had stolen as well as Azkaban. I did not regret those years of faithful service, it was  
/what I had desired the most at the time. What I wanted now was doing everything I desired. Burn down entire villages of muggles without anyone telling me it was not in the plan, hunt down and kill all the mudbloods I could find without concerning  
/about consequences.

The plan for the time being was having fun, and enjoy my newfound freedom - the next step was gathering an army to achieve what the Dark Lord had failed to do: rule the wizarding world. I was not yet the queen I had aspired to be, but one day I would  
/be. And not even some scarred teenager would stop me.

 _Get out of here, disapparate and make sure no one ever finds you_. That was the plan. Nothing tied me to this life anymore, except maybe Cissy- but I would not stay and risk my life for her. What was left of the castle was far behind me as I almost  
/ran across the grounds of Hogwarts and towards the Forbidden Forest. Only a few minutes and I would be able to dispparate. I looked back to make sure no one was following me and found nothing but grass, smoke and ruins. What was to happen to the other  
/Death Eaters back there? There would most likely be sent to Azkaban. What if they were interrogated to know the whereabouts of the rest of us? I was not particularly appreciated among my peers- they were all jealous, that's why. Would one be enough  
/of a traitor to give away my location? They were not supposed to know where I was going anyway.

"Bella!"

She was lucky I had recognized her voice, or else she would have been dead by now. I lowered my wand that I had suddenly been pointing at her face and continued walking away. She kept running in my direction.

"Leave me alone, Cissy."

"Bella, I can't let you go, they'll kill you."

"They will if I stay with you!"

What did she expect? That they would show mercy if she convinced them she could keep me locked in the house or something? No mercy would be shown towards the Dark Lord's most faithful servant- and I shall not beg for it.

"Wherever you go, they will find you, Bella. Potter will never stop looking for you."

"Ugh- where is your son anyway, and your stupid husband? Don't you already have to take care of them?" Why did she always feel the need to look after me like one of her children?

However, it was true I would never be completely safe. No matter where nor how long I would hide, only seeing my dead body would stop their chase. The narrow path through the trees laid at my feet- there was no hesitation when I set foot on the damp grass,  
/going deep into the shadows of the leaves.

"You can't leave me. The others- those who escaped, they'll look for you and for us. Because we have deserted his ranks!" Her voice was shaken.

"Oh, so you don't want me to stay because of some sisterly affection. You're afraid a oh-too-faithful servant of the Dark Lord will punish you for giving up? Don't imagine it, they were all cowards and fools, none trustworthy or capable of anything. Maybe  
/you have given up, but I have not! I have no intention of giving in to a 'mudbloods and half-bloods' supremacy of any sort. The fight is not over, Cissy. Don't forget it."

"It is over, Bella- you cannot win this war alone."

"I won't be alone." I spat.

As the trees disappeared, I finally crossed the borders of Hogwarts' grounds. I didn't turn back to glance at Cissy but it was useless, for I felt her presence as soon as I apparated to Malfoy Manor. She was not going to let me go easily, and I might  
/be forced to use my wand. Which I was definitely not excited about.

"Let me do what I have to do and it's over, you won't see me before long." I ordered sharply when I pushed open the front door.

"That's not reassuring me."

"Was not meant to."

Ignoring her worried eyes on my back, I headed to the cellar. If I had to run away, I'd better have all the cards in my hands. I needed a protection, a leverage to ensure my survival – the mudblood would do perfectly. Illuminating the corridor with my  
/wand I walked to the girl's cell and glanced inside through the shadow. The Disillusionment charm had faded, the unconscious girl had not moved an inch.

I opened the door and levitated the body, making it flow out of the cell and in front of me, heading back to the stairs.

"She's alive. You lied to me!" Cissy exclaimed, vexed. "You lied to the Dark Lord..." She shivered.

"I had reasons."

As I was a few meters away from the front door Cissy stood up straight before me. She had regained her usual composure – cold, sharp and aristocratic -, authority had taken over sentiment.

"I cannot let you take her. Leaving you disappear for Merlin knows how long is a sacrifice I'm ready to make- but I won't let you bring her into your suicide mission. She's just a child, Bella! She has already seen too much and suffered too much."

There was a time when I may have listened, her words may have meant something to me- but now it meant nothing, because all I knew was I was going to die if I didn't decide quickly, all that mattered to me was to survive. So I pointed my wand at her chest  
/reluctantly, staring into her eyes.

"Don't make me do it." I didn't want to curse her; she was still my sister and I still loved her- no matter how annoyingly protective she was.

Her jaw clenched as she took a sharp breath. She knew how I felt, and that I would still be capable of cursing her anyway. She knew we were so different as she was unable to raise a hand on a loved one, as I had devoted my life to hurt people no matter  
/the cost. There was no word said, no spell cast, no looking back while I walked out and along the pathway through the garden. Only when I reached the gates did I look back to find nothing but a closed door.

* * *

 **Hermione**

When I regained consciousness I thought at first that I was still dreaming. It was not cold, wet and dirty; it felt warm and soft against my skin. It was as if the cell had been replaced by my bed at Hogwarts- a place whereI felt safe, where I wished  
to remain

forever. What had me question my surroundings was the slight wind brushing my face, which felt too real to be a dream. Then, panic suddenly filled my body: was I dead? Such a pleasant feeling of safety and softness was to real to be true, it was a  
/gift only death could provide me.

So I opened my eyes, prepared to see the darkness of nothing overwhelming me. It was dark indeed, but yet bright enough to distinguish the shapes of furniture, windows and curtains flowing gracefully. The walls were of a black ripped tapestry, some pieces  
/were scattered on the floor- damaged as well. Had the room been smaller, I could have believed to be in the Shrieking Shack; but it was enormous, so wide and tall my whole house could have fit in it. Hanging from the ceiling, a crystal chandelier,  
/similar to the one in Malfoy Manor, was swinging slowly back and forth. Light reflected on it- bright as the sun itself, it seemed. My field of vision was not vast, however my other senses had a wider range of perception. There was the distant sound  
/of rain, light and calming- as well as an occasional faded thud seemingly coming for a lower floor. For the rest, it smelled like an ancient attic, dust and forgotten books. It was not all; there was a slight – almost imperceptible – scent; wine,  
/mint, parchment... leather. I would recognize this mixture among thousands; it was hers. It was Bellatrix's. I started to feel anxious at the idea that she could be in this room right now observing me in the dark.

I brushed absently the silk sheet as I wondered what was best to do. It was an unknown place with an unknown number of inhabitants. It would have been wiser to remain where I was and maybe try to fall asleep until someone arrived, but curiosity took over  
/me and I found myself walking to the door before I could stop myself. Under my feet the wooden floor was warm but nonetheless damaged, which made me look out for my shoes; and therefore realize they weren't there. It was only then I noticed my jumper  
/was gone, so was my t-shirt. Had she...? Why- never mind. Suddenly the idea of hiding under the sheets was far more attractive. Well, I could at least try to find something to wear to explore the house- I probably would not be able to sleep anyway,  
/far too stressed out for not knowing where I was.

I headed carefully to what seemed to be a wardrobe, hurting myself on the corners of the bed. It was tall and massive, of a dark polished wood with carved lines and curves on the doors. Surprisingly it did not creak, it opened smoothly revealing piles  
/and piles of fabric. From what I could discern – which was not much – there were mostly bed sheets, covers and pillows, but nothing resembling clothes. Giving up on finding clothes in this wardrobe, I headed to another one right beside it, as a loud  
/thud echoed; I understood then it was coming from downstairs. In this wardrobe were also piles of fabric, but not as much. Actually, there was not much in this one but it seemed to be clothes this time. Narrowing my eyes I searched for what looked  
/like shirts, brushing the clothes away, pushing them aside and pulling them out. There were mostly dresses and corset- so this was Bellatrix's room; why, I suddenly wanted to leave this room, had I been naked I still would have ran out. Among the  
/soft or leathery fabric I finally found what I was looking for: tanks tops and t-shirt, all black. There was just a few of them but I'd manage to find something fitting me. Bellatrix was smaller than I was, so they might be too short. It was horrible  
/to consider wearing something she had worn before, to put on my skin fabric belonging to the most dangerous Death Eater. Then again, what choice did I have? It felt wrong still, itching and burning my skin.

The door opened on a wide corridor, walls covered with doors probably leading to rooms just as big as Bellatrix's. This place had to be truly enormous. A light flickered at the end of the corridor and I followed, lead to a grand staircase going down.  
/As I descended, I looked around on the walls and the ceiling; no paintings, damages paint and furniture- this house must have been abandoned years ago.

The hall I reached lead to several rooms with open doors, all more majestic than the one before. I peered behind every door I found, hoping to find a living soul and dreading it all the same; would I stumble upon Voldemort round a corner? I kept walking  
/along the great stone walls passing through drawing room, libraries – filled with dusty books awaiting to be opened – and dining rooms. It was a never-ending path of rooms all neatly decorated but unfortunately altered by time.

After a good five minutes walk, I heard again the loud thud I had heard from upstairs. It seemed to come from farther down the corridor, behind one of the closed doors. I grabbed the handle of the door on the left and turned it slowly but it resisted;  
/it was locked and I had no wand to open it- for now. I tried the door next to it- locked as well. Out of the two remaining doors, I chose one randomly and pushed it slowly open. It didn't resist this time and allowed me to discover a room in a state  
/far worse than Bellatrix's room. The space between the door and the wall I kept thin not to be seen, yet it was enough for me to see the broken furniture, the books scattered all over the floor and the shards of glass covering the rest of the room.  
/It was dead silent and only lit by what I guessed was a fire. I opened the door halfway and glanced further inside, when suddenly a book was thrown against the closest wall and exploded into hundreds of flying pages.

"It's all your fault." Her voice made me shiver as it was shaking, low and aggressive; a roar almost. Were her words destined to me, or was she addressing herself, lost in her madness. "Come out!" Another heavy item was thrown in my direction and this  
/one hit the door and had me nearly stumble backwards.

Again, what was wise to do? If there was a way out of this house it was most likely locked, wherever I'd hide she'd find me. Running away, not really; facing her, could mean instant death for all I knew.

"If you and your stupid friends had not been there, none of this would have happened. Have you ever thought that maybe minding your own business would have guaranteed you to live longer? You would not be there – AND _HE_ WOULD BE ALIVE!"

I was expecting another book to be thrown at me, however nothing came. I risked a glance towards the fireplace and found the spot empty.

"Don't look away when I'm talking to you."

I jumped and screamed as I heard her voice right in my ear. She had appeared just beside me, in an instant! She was horrifying- more than usual. Her eyes were red and circled with black – from lack of sleep? - and her hair even messier than usual, curls  
/flying everywhere and half covering her face. She was what muggles would call mad- not in the cruel, sadistic and childish way she was often described, but truly crazy, insane and good for psychiatric hospital.

"Mummy and daddy didn't teach you not to stare at people!" Ironic to say, as her eyes were literally stuck on mine, looking left and right in a frenetic rhythm. "And to answer people better than yourself?"

"They... Uhm- where are we?" An eyebrow raised, she eyed me suspiciously. She seemed surprised by the confidence in my voice – we both were, to be true.

"What do you care." She abandoned her spot in front of me and walked back by the fireplace. Even her pace appeared less certain, more deranged. Had we been seeing only the 'sane' side of Bellatrix Lestrange all these years?

"What happened? Where is Ron? We are not in Malfoy Manor anymore, why? And who would-"

"Do you ever shut up?" She let herself fall on the couch facing the fire.

Offended by her words, I crossed my arms on my chest. _Offended?_ What was going on in my head to make me so calm while I should be scared, begging her not to hurt me and to let me go, trying to run away from this unknown place.

"That's one of mine." She glanced at me with disdain pointing at the shirt I was wearing.

"I couldn't find mine- where is it? Did you-?"

"It was disgusting." She cut me.

So, it had been out of concern for me? It could not, she didn't care about me at all; she probably just didn't want to be around my stinking clothes. But then, why leave me my jeans and underwear? Not that I wished she had taken them off – not at all!  
/- but it would have been more logical.

"But my jeans..."

"I have principles." She cut me again, staring at the burning fire.

I could nor refrain a snort. Bellatrix Lestrange having principles? Who on Earth would ever believe that! Only I realized I should have shut up this time, for the look she gave me made me cold down to my bones.

"I don't want you wearing my clothes, not a filthy mudblood like you. Take them off." She turned back to the fire. Her eye twitched and a cracked smile broke on her lips. She suddenly reminded me of that one film I had seen a few years ago – The Shining.  
/I was trapped alone and unarmed in a locked place with a psychotic and unpredictable witch. What could be worse?

"I thought you had principles." I replied coldly.

"Get out." She sighed, annoyed.

"Not before you tell me why I'm here and where Ron is."

"I swear I'll kill you if you don't leave right now."

"Why am I here?" I was scared of her, yes, but I was not going to let her crush me into silent compliance.

"Out."

"What happened? I know something happened, or we wouldn't be here by ourselves." She remained strangely clam. "I want answers."

"And I want SILENCE!" Her fist punched the wall and the whole room seemed to shake. "You want to know what happened? Your stupid friends and you- you have won it all. Happy? The Dark Lord is dead because of YOU!" She might have seen the relief in my eyes,  
/for she added right away: "But don't be too happy about it, because I'm not dead yet."

"Harry..." Was he alive, had the prophecy been true? "Is he...?"

"He is alive, and after me and the others. If I were you I would not count on him to save you. All he wants is me to be locked up in Azkaban or kissed by a Dementor. This is why you are here. As long as I live, you stay with me to ensure my safety. Oh,  
/don't worry- I don't like the idea either. Living with a mudblood is not at all what I had planned."

Escaping her was not only hard- it was impossible. If I was to be a leverage for her survival she would never take her eyes off me.

"Why me?"

"Because you're Potter's friend. I thought you were smart."

"But why just me? Why not Ron?"

Bellatrix took a few steps towards me, a teasing smile lingering on her face. "You would prefer you friend to be taken prisoner rather than yourself? What kind of friendship is that?"

"You know what I mean. Where is Ron?"

"He's dead."

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	14. You Cannot Run Forever

FINALLY! It's been a month, I know, I'm so sorry! I'm adapting to a new life, new country, to college... Things have been a tad difficult for the past three weeks. BUT I give you (the longest chap I've written I believe) 10K words to cheer you up, and to thank you guys so much for following this story, I never thought I could write so much! It's 70K words long, I've never written so much in my life!

As always, please review to tell me what you think of this chapter, I feel like I don't get a lot of feedback (positive or negative) and I'd really like to know what you like/dislike! Plus, I admit I need support on this, because no one IRL knows about this, so I don't really get to have a lot of feedback about it.

Anyway, hope you'll enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 14: You Cannot Run Forever

Bellatrix's words had been too much for Hermione to take. The exhaustion, weakness, hunger, anxiety and now the pain of grief collapsing on her shoulders had lead her legs to give up under her weight, she had fallen unconscious. Bellatrix had carried her upstairs back into her room, cursing about the girl's weakness. Really, she wondered why she had decided to keep the girl with her. She needed her – as stupid as it sounded – without the mudblood she would die. But it meant she would have to take care of her; she would do only the least required of course, still she had to be quite alive to be a decent leverage. If she were to die, then she would be utterly useless.

"Ron..." Hermione mumbled in her unconsciousness, rolling over on the mattress.

Sitting in a chair by the window, Bellatrix sighed, thinking about the current situation. Both she and the girl were chased by probably half of the wizarding world, with a great reward for who would lead Aurors to them- therefore, she couldn't trust anyone but herself and Cissy. Unfortunately, she couldn't be with Cissy, for she didn't trust Lucius. It all meant she was by herself. As for locations the Lestrange Manor would do for now but they would need to leave it rather quickly. Everyone thought it had been destroyed, but it was still a place that would be searched at some point. The problem was Bellatrix had nowhere else to go, no other house safe enough to stay even for a few days. Grimmauld Place was the Order's headquarters, Black Manor was known and would be searched soon, Andy's was no option, the Riddle house wasn't either...

Bellatrix slowly drifted away into an unexpected dreamless sleep. Usually she always cared about where and when she fell asleep- she didn't wish others to see her in such a vulnerable position. But today's emotions, the sudden death of her Dark Lord and the stress of running away was stronger than her will to remain awake. Soon both witches breathed slowly and peacefully, unaware of the turmoil miles away.

The Aurors had searched Malfoy Manor, lead by Harry to the cellar, Narcissa Malfoy on their back. The Malfoys had been exempted of any responsibility in the capture of Harry, Hermione and Ron, forced by the Dark Lord. And so Narcissa had lied to the Aurors, pretending she hated Bellatrix and would be more than willing to give them information about her whereabouts if she had any clue. It was not hard to believe for the Aurors- after all, who could ever love a monster like Bellatrix Lestrange? Who would want to take the risk to cover her up when she was ready to kill anyone that stood in her way.

Harry kneeled beside Ron's lifeless body, not hearing Narcissa's apologies on how she could not prevent his death. He had lost his best friends- one was dead, while the other was nowhere to be found. Narcissa knew she should told them where Hermione was, but it would only make them search Bellatrix even more, and she couldn't fit to the idea of knowing she had helped people find her sister.

In the drawing room, Lucius wandered by the fireplace. If only Bellatrix hadn't been there when the Snatchers had brought Harry Potter, nothing would have been the same. He and his family would have the Dark Lord's respect, He would still be alive and the purebloods would rule the wizarding world. Unfortunately, Narcissa was his wife and he loved her deeply; he could not betray her and give information about Bellatrix- how he wanted to have this bitch in Azkaban!

* * *

Hermione's thoughts became clearer when she woke up. The room was as dark as the first time she had been inside, thought light managed to sneak out from behind one of the dusty curtains. The image of Ron's face crossed her mind once more and she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe he was dead, she would never see him again. And Harry- maybe it was more reassuring to convince herself she would not either. Unless she found a way to run away from Bellatrix, which she recalled was going to be harder than everything she had been through before; especially without a wand. As she stared helplessly at the ceiling, as she made no noise at all, she perceived the soft sound of a breathing. Carefully she propped herself up on her elbows and glanced around the room. Everything was calm, nothing unusual. As for the silhouette in the chair, it took Hermione all her strengths not to scream. She narrowed her eyes, trying to put a word on what she saw. Considering the black mane of curls and the boots tossed beside the chair it was no one else but Bellatrix. Having the dark witch sleep just ten feet away from her surprised the young girl; after all she had said about hating mudbloods, the fact that Hermione wanted nothing but run away- why would she let herself be so vulnerable in front of Hermione, and with a wand for that matter.

Even with her eyes closed, the dark witch had sensed Hermione waking up and looking around. The shifting of sheets and the girl's heavy breathing proved she had spotted her. Bellatrix found amusing to let the girl believe she was asleep, maybe she would try out something bold and give the cruel woman a bit of fun. She had slept indeed, only a few hours before being awaken by Hermione's whining and pleas for Ron. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she shouldn't have killed the boy. What had led her to do it was his obvious uselessness and her belief that the girl would be weakened by his death, therefore easier to control. But maybe- _maybe_ for once Bellatrix had been wrong. She feared it would only make the girl angrier, more willing to defend herself or run away, bolder to try stupid actions that might turn dangerous. And there was no way Hermione was to be endangered, harmed in any way. She was to remain in a decent condition to be a valuable leverage.

Hermione stepped out of the bed, carefully shifting her weight onto her legs. The floor did not creak. All she needed to do was approach the witch as silently as possible, then jump and grab her wand before the other could react and potentially kill her. Well, not kill her but severely harm her; enough to keep her to bed for the rest of her life. Was it really worth the risk then?

Bellatrix was just playing with Hermione. Usually she wouldn't have allow the girl to even get up. Usually she would have tortured her and locked her in a room for Merlin knew how long. But this- this was nothing like Bellatrix. Ensuring the safety of a muggle-born, leaving her own room to the girl and watching her sleep like she cared for her- this was not normal. If Hermione had realised all this she'd probably understand that what had happened to the dark witch was terrible. After all, she had lost everything she had known for years, what meant something to her; as well as the only man she had ever loved. And how she had loved him! Deeply, faithfully, genuinely- saying she would have died for him was in no way out of measures. She had given her life to him and his cause. Now everything had died, and Bellatrix had nothing left- no one to put her faith in. The only person she could trust was herself, her fate depended on a muggle-born and she had no one.

Of course, apart from her love for the Dark Lord she never felt anything really; nor sadness, pain nor any happy feeling. It was only now she discovered what grief meant, how sad can the death of a loved one make you feel.

Hermione was standing just a meter away from the dark witch, studying her reaction and preparing to back up if she opened her eyes. However she remained calm and apparently asleep, so Hermione breathed in deeply and jumped on the older woman, reaching out for her wand. Even though she did not see, Bellatrix reacted remarkably quickly and turned the situation upside-down with a hand securely wrapped around her wand. It was Hermione's turn to be sitting in the chair, her hands stuck to the handles, Bellatrix's face inches away from hers gazing fiercely into her scared eyes.

In Bellatrix's mind thoughts were fast and confused. The girl had tried to steal her wand, a grave mistake she severely punished. Yet her current desire was not to yell at her, to get mad and crucio her until she begged for mercy, as she usually did. She wanted to play with her, to have the fun she deserved and had not lived for years. Driving the girl mad, being cruel without hurting her- anything to entertain her and keep the grief away.

"Do you really want to die so soon?" Bellatrix cocked her head, teasing the young girl.

"Let me go!"

"If you want that wand, you'll have to kill me first you know that, don't you?"

"I'm not-"

"A murderer, I know." Bellatrix cut her, rolling her eyes. "You're so boring. A boring insufferable know-it-all."

The recalling of Snape's words was harsh, yet far more was needed to stop Hermione who kept fighting to free herself from the witch's grip.

"You cannot keep me quiet and willing to stay with you. I will always want to run away!"

"And I will always stop you. You-cannot-run-away! You are MINE!"

"I HATE YOU!" The words had come straight from her heart, she had not even tried to keep them down.

"I know you do." Bellatrix spat in a matter-of-fact way; it seemed she didn't need to be reminded of it any more.

"Why me? Why-" The words were hard to say, "Why kill Ron?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and sighed: "Do you never stop?"

"You killed my best friend! How do you expect me to react?"

"Just shut up and move on, Merlin! He was just a stupid boy."

"Don't say that!" Courage ran through her veins as she dangerously pushed the dark witch into provocation and annoyance. "You are a _monster_!"

"I am!" Bellatrix suddenly grabbed the collar of Hermione's shirt and leaned so close their noses touched for a second. Her eyes were rolling like mad, and a faint smile deformed her lips. "I am mad and unforgiving, cruel; I will kill anyone standing in my way without hesitation; and right now _you_ are in my way. I can't kill you, doesn't mean I can't hurt you. So don't play the brave princess with me because you will lose- I won't tolerate your provocations for long, then you'd better shut it from now on."

"Stay quiet, and then what? Wait for you to kill me?"

" _SHUT UP_!" Drool was running in the corner of her mouth; Hermione had never ever seen her this uncontrollable. "I am the Queen and you obey ME! You are _nothing_ , you hear me? I will crush you until you eventually STAY SILENT!"

Bellatrix had gone utterly mad, no coherent thoughts made its way to her brain as she let anger control her whole being. The queen of wizards, maybe she could have been; but the queen of herself, there was no hope for that. Her mind had gone so broken the pieces no longer fitted together, parts of her had gone forever; some were still falling apart everyday. Things made less and less sense, logic and common sense were nothing more than memories- she was but a uncomprehending child armed with the cruelty of an accomplished witch; therefore the most dangerous witch anyone could face. She feared not loss, nor pain, not even death. Right there, in front of Hermione- this was the closest to losing herself she had ever been.

* * *

A few hours had passed since Bellatrix's -breakout? She had retired to the living room and after a few outbursts of rage, she had let herself fall on the carpet before the fire. Her eyes had been locked on the dancing flames for hours now.

Upstairs, Hermione had lied back on the soft sheets and attempted to calm the erratic breathing of her heart. The thought of escaping from the house still danced around in her mind, a slithering idea that would never leave until achieved.

Bellatrix had apparently lent her own room to the young witch, at least she had said nothing about it and had allowed Hermione to remain in the room. Therefore she had decided to explore it, for she knew better than going downstairs while Bellatrix was enraged. The curtains had been drawn fully open as well as the windows. Once lit up by the sun, the room appeared slightly brighter – almost welcoming, yet still mainly damaged. Hermione went through the books on the shelves, finding history books here and there but still mostly dark arts books that she really didn't intend to read, unless she really had nothing else to do. What she found genuinely disturbing was the absence of private belongings in the room that was supposed to be Bellatrix's. Apart from the books, the cupboard, shelves and drawers were empty and filled with dust, and the only belongings she found were the bed sheets and the small amount of clothes in the wardrobes. It seemed almost as if no one had really lived here. Then again, it was Bellatrix's, she had no bond, nothing to be attached to in this world- she despised everything, why would she care about belongings?

In the new light, Hermione looked again in the wardrobes. She didn't really know what she expected to find, what she was looking for; she just wanted to sneak inside the room and hopefully find something to distract her from her boredom; and from her rumbling stomach. Looking among the blankets she took one out and threw it over her shoulders. The house was quite cold and the warmth of the soft blanket was very welcomed. To the touch it felt like fur, like the softest fur Hermione had ever touched in her life. Sneaking through the sheets, her hand suddenly found something solid, and as she pulled it out she discovered a small paper-holder wrapped in a leather cover. It was very thin, as if it was empty, however there was something inside. Curiosity took over reason and Hermione watched behind her that Bellatrix wasn't coming before opening the file and discovering a piece of paper neatly folded.

 _Miss Bellatrix Black,_

 _Please take note of your final results for your N.E.W.T.S, year 1969, herewith:_

 _Study of Ancient Runes Outstanding_

 _Arithmancy Outstanding_

 _Astronomy Outstanding_

 _Care of Magical Creatures Outstanding_

 _Charms Outstanding_

 _Defence Against the Dark Arts Outstanding_

 _Divination Outstanding_

 _Herbology Outstanding_

 _History of Magic Outstanding_

 _Potions Outstanding_

 _Transfiguration Outstanding_

 _In spite of your excellent results, I strongly deplore your regular absences in classes. Please remember in the future that no knowledge nor ability is ever acquired without hard work._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall_

It took Hermione a few minutes to proceed what she had just read. Bellatrix had been one of the most brilliant witches Hogwarts had ever had! And Professor McGonagall had not resisted the opportunity to tell the dark witch what she thought of her. The young witch chuckled. It was a weird experience to imagine Bellatrix Lestrange, the most dangerous Death Eater, walk among Hogwarts' corridors and studying there.

Hermione placed the letter back in the wardrobe and moved to the other one. Maybe she could try and sort out which clothes she could wear and which she could not. First, no leather corset. She carefully moved the clothes around, picking up what would fit her and putting away what would not, and soon the shelves were perfectly arranged, every cloth folded nicely. Considering her tank top, she decided to change- she didn't like the idea of having Bellatrix's drool on her shirt. As she picked up a dark grey tank top at the back, she spotted something on the wood. She could not see very clearly but it seemed as if the wood was ripped, with a crevice running straight on a few inches. Maybe it was nothing, but when Hermione knock on the wood, it sounded empty. It reminded her of those secret holes in walls or furniture where you could hide important things. Was it one of those? And if it was, was it not better to let it closed? A reasonable answer might have crossed her mind, but she was too curious to let this go.

She scratched the wood with her nails, trying to have a hold on some sort of door to unlock. It resisted so well at first that she though it was magically locked, which would have been quite a problem. But finally, after minutes of pulling and scratching, the door gave up and opened. Inside, there was nothing Hermione had been expecting. A pile of photographs- that was all. Not hiding her disappointment, Hermione took the photographs and looked at the face of the young Black sisters. It was incredible how it seemed they had not changed physically – Narcissa's blonde hair and Bellatrix's scornful expression were exactly the same as they were now. She quickly went through all of them and then placed them back into the locker.

* * *

Bellatrix had not moved an inch, staring at the fire, when the door opened. She ignored it. Hermione walked in on her toes, attempting to make the least noise she could. Of course she had no wish to come down there and potentially anger the dark witch once more, but she was hungry. The rumble of her stomach could not be ignored anymore. The young witch's fingers played together nervously as she wondered how she was going to ask Bellatrix for food. How was she even supposed to call her? Bellatrix, ma'am, anything else?

"You don't call me." Bellatrix's voice surprised Hermione but she fortunately managed not to make a sound.

It was something Hermione had forgotten about, their mind connection of some sort. She had gotten so used to the nightmares and voices in her head she no longer questioned where they were coming from.

"I'm hungry." Hermione stated boldly.

The dark witch sighed and rolled her eyes and there was a moment of silence where Hermione didn't know if Bellatrix was going to help her in any way. She knew she shouldn't push the witch to her worst but after all she didn't really have a choice right now. Was she supposed to let herself starve only because she didn't want to offend the older witch?

"Back to your room."

But Hermione stood there, waiting.

"You won't like it if I stand up, trust me."

"I'd rather not."

The temperature dropped too many degrees as the dark witch stood up and took a slow step towards Hermione.

"Please." The young witch quickly added, hoping to soften her harsh words. _As if_.

Bellatrix took a few other steps and stopped close to the young girl. Her eyes were dark and narrowed, yet her smile was wide and mad.

"Again. I love it when you beg."

"I'm hungry." She repeated boldly.

"Really?" Bellatrix's eyes had gone cold again. "That's unfortunate."

She turned her back to Hermione and paced around the room. She had seen it under this cupboard not an hour ago, maybe it was still there! She rose her wand and blew up the said cupboard. As it exploded and Hermione covered her face, Bellatrix found exactly what she was looking for. Running away from the broken furniture was a little white mouse. And the only direction it could go was right in front of Bellatrix. She crushed it with her boot, shivering in pleasure at the cracking of its tiny bones and the sound of its insides exploding. Nothing was left of the mouse – nothing that looked like a mouse – when she rose her foot.

"Here's your dinner." On that, she left a horrified Hermione in the living room.

* * *

" _You had enough?"_

 _She had been beaten for hours, or so it seemed. There had been so much pain, so much screaming, that she didn't feel anything anymore. Her body was all cold and numb and the blood dripping from her open mouth was burning hot against her cheek._

" _It will never end."_

 _She had done nothing wrong. All she had asked for was food._

" _You will stay with me forever, you'd better get used to that."_

 _Get used to beatings? Maybe one day she would be. When you were exposed too long to pain you ended up not feeling it; maybe one day she would forget what it was like to suffer. Then let this day come._

" _I will crush you."_

 _Had she not already?_

" _I hate you."_

 _She felt it again- the cold wave brought by the Cruciatus Curse, the intense numbness in her limbs and her hoarse voice trying desperately to beg her torturer to stop. She really tried. And she failed._

* * *

The next day, after waking up from her usual nightmare, Hermione searched the house for the kitchen. She did not know whether Bellatrix was awake or where she was, she just hoped she would not stumble upon her round a corner. It took her twenty minutes to locate the kitchen in the maze of corridors and grand rooms, but she finally pushed a door open and found food. Her stomach growled at the mere vision of fruits on a counter. Still she wondered as she engulfed a piece of bread: How come this food was here? The manor seemed abandoned and no one could produce food magically. Maybe there was a house-elf somewhere.

An apple in her hand she headed to the living room with the intention to warm herself by the fire. As she was eating and enjoying the heat on her skin, the door opened and Bellatrix walked in. She expected the dark witch to order her to leave, to be angry or scream. But nothing of that happened. Bellatrix barely looked at her and sat lazily in a close by armchair. Both women remained silent for some time, although Hermione, staring nervously at the fire, did not notice Bellatrix staring at her. The dark witch saw in the girl's mind her nightmares- those she had created herself and had sneaked into the girl's mind. There was fear, anger, questions- a lot of them.

"I give you five questions."

The warning tone made Hermione shiver and she focused on what to ask, not ready for such a situation.

"What happened? With Harry and Voldem-?"

"Don't say his name, filth." Bellatrix hissed dangerously.

She didn't want to answer and having to think about all this again. But she eventually did.

"We invaded Hogwarts. The Weasel never said where Potter had gone, but we figured out he might be at Hogwarts, or at least he would go if we attacked his friends. So we attacked in the night, surprised everyone in the castle. The Dark Lord thought it would be easy, that the students would be controlled and that everything would go as planned. But it did not. The situation ran out of hand. On top of all, Potter was already in the castle and he had managed to destroy all the horcruxes. Yes, I knew about that, He had told me about His secret. But I thought no one would be able to destroy them all! It took only a few minutes for Potter to kill the Dark Lord, and everything was over. I never thought it could be so quick. My whole life devoted to the cause and it ends in less than an hour, with a simple _expelliarmus_." Bellatrix's stare was blank, and she shook her head to chase away the grief.

"Why keeping me and not- Ron? He was Harry's friend too. Why did you kill him?"

Surprisingly, Bellatrix took much more time before answering.

"Because I needed only one of you. I already knew that if something turned wrong I'd probably need a leverage. But two was risked, because you would have been stronger. I had to choose." She looked over at Hermione's questioning stare. "You are more easy to control, less unpredictable, weaker and-"

"I'm not weak!" Hermione took offense.

Bellatrix kept talking as if nothing had happened. "And I can read your mind, which is a bonus point. I can control you all I want; you cannot resist me."

"Why is that?" Hermione asked sharply. She hated the idea that Bellatrix could 'control' her.

"It is all very complicated, are you sure you are smart enough to understand?" The dark witch teased.

"I am not stupid!"

"Fine! Fine, okay, I'll explain." Her smile still teased Hermione. "When I imperiused you in the Ministry years ago, it happen that I aimed precisely right. You were untrained in Occlumency so penetrating your mind was child's play, all I had to do was talking to you. And what I told you was so true to you that I was able to create – let's say this, even though I don't really know how it exactly happened – a mind bond. Which means I knew you well enough to be able to fully penetrate your mind. You are aware of such thing, that's what happened between the Dark Lord and Potter. That is why I can read your mind, why you have those nightmares."

"You put them in my head." Hermione hissed angrily. How she wanted to punch her!

"I do, because this way I can control you." Bellatrix bent forward and looked at Hermione straight in the eyes. "And it is so much fun seeing you beg for mercy, crying and suffering."

"I got it." Hermione cut sharply.

Bellatrix observed the young witch's frown as she stared at the fire, obviously annoyed. She looked at her up and down, lingering on the bruises on her arms, the falling of her own shirt on the girl's body, the dirt on her skin and the mess of her hair.

"I can't believe I let you sleep in my bed like that. You'll take a bath after that." Bellatrix wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Why am I sleeping in your bedroom?" That was the question that had bothered her since she had woken up.

"Well, I don't care, there are plenty of rooms for me to sleep in. Why- you'd like to sleep in the cellar?" She sneered.

"No, no." Hermione said absentmindedly. She added after a pause: "Did you- did you love him?"

A glimpse of surprise shone in her eyes and the young witch thought for a second that the older woman was about to flare up again; instead she waved her hand dismissively.

"Not answering such a stupid question. Question time over. Go take a bath."

"Wait- just one last!"

"No, get out."

"Just one more, that's it!"

"Then beg for it."

Oh, she was smart the little witch, but not enough for Bellatrix. She would always find a way to get the girl off balance and win the fight. Hermione sighed and looked away, determined not to beg the witch.

" _Obey me."_

The voice echoed inside her head which she shook violently.

"Stop invading my mind!"

"Then beg me." Bellatrix leaned backwards, her back resting on the armchair, looking down to Hermione as if she was a queen on her throne.

"Please, I have one last question." The young witch asked reluctantly.

"Mm?."

She took a deep breath. "Why are you so convinced that- why did you tell Ron and Harry- I mean, you know it's not true but- Why do you keep thinking that I fancied you?" The difficult words were finally out.

"Why?" Bellatrix sneered. "Because it's true! You were and you still are fancying me. I can see it in your mind."

"That's not true! You made that up on your own! I _hate_ you, and I will never fancy someone as cruel, vile and mad as you!"

"Don't deny you're into girls, it's so obvious."

"That is none of your concern." Hermione whispered angrily as she stood up to leave.

"It is! I don't want to find you humping me in my sleep." She teased, laughing at her.

"Stop it! You know what- what I see is that _you_ fancy _me_!"

"Whoa! You have a very _very_ high self-esteem." The dark with hissed menacingly. She was not teasing anymore, now she just wanted the girl to shut it.

"Really? What about those nightmares you create? Why making me see myself fancying you, if it's not for your own benefits? _You_ want me to feel that way!"

"Be careful with what you say, mudblood." Bellatrix rose from the armchair, pointing an aggressive sharp fingernail towards Hermione.

"I don't know what you're playing at, but I'm not playing along."

Hermione walked away and to the door, hoping the dark witch would leave it here. Except, she wasn't in the mood of letting disrespect unpunished. Bellatrix grabbed Hermione's shoulders and pushed all her weight on her against the wall. She had the girl trapped right there, between herself and the wall- just a pressure on her throat and she would be dead; and everything would be over. It was all she wished for, seeing Hermione's fear weirdly turning her on.

"Don't ever disrespect me again. Do I remind you that this is my house, and I decide whoever gets to stay and who gets to be thrown outside."

"You need me- you can't throw me-" Bellatrix slapped her hard.

"I KNOW! I know I can't, and I see you have understood that part well. Now, what you must understand is that it doesn't allow you to disrespect me. The less you respect me, the more punishment you receive. I will not let you run away from that. Get it?"

Hermione nodded anxiously. Anything to make the witch release her.

"As for your nightmares," Bellatrix leaned against Hermione's face, her breath brushing her ear as she whispered, "torture is making you suffer in every possible way. I enjoy hurting you, playing with your brain." Her other hand trailed along Hermione's hip and clutched hard on the soft skin. "I want to confuse you, to drive you mad; I long for the sight of you agonising, begging for mercy." Her nails dug into the girl's side who squirmed and whimpered in pain.

"Stop, you're hurting me." A tear ran down her cheek and melted with the blood on her scratched side.

"That's the point, idiot. You have one thing to say and I'll stop."

"I won't beg you." She spat through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you will."

Bellatrix scratched her already bleeding side, earning another cry of pain which sounded like music to her ears. She needed to push the girl further, to show who was in control; or else, she would never learn and would constantly keep trying to cross the line. Which was fun now, but maybe it wouldn't be fun anymore when they'd have Aurors on their heels. The witch forcefully pushed her leg in between Hermione's and up right between her thighs. Teasing her was so fun, to know that this was _actually_ working on her.

"Stop!" The young witch faintly ordered. Hermione knew where this was going, what the witch was trying to do. And no matter how hard she tried to resist, she felt something grow in her stomach. But it was not pleasant and she just wished for it to stop. They were so close to one another. "Please stop!"

For a second she thought Bellatrix was not going to stop. But then she backed up slowly, removing her leg from Hermione's. However her face remained close to the girl's as she spoke.

"I order in here, and you obey. Don't you dare question my authority ever again."

Hermione was shaking, her eyes closed because she knew the only thing she would see in the dark witch's eyes was lust; and she truly didn't want to see that.

"Now go wash. You stink." And she let go of Hermione, who rested her back on the wall and tried to breathe normally.

* * *

Hermione lowered herself in the warm water, hissing in pain when her wounded side touched the water. She washed away the blood and soon she had plunged her head under the surface. It had been so long since her last bath, she had forgotten how pleasant it was, how relaxing. The young witch took her time, washing and untangling her hair, leaving the bathtub only when the water had ran quite cold. Contrary to the rest of the manor which appeared quite damaged, the bathroom was clean and bright, the floor of grey marble and most of the walls covered in mirrors.

After drying herself, sleep started to call on her and she yawned loudly. It was strange that she still felt the need to sleep for days while it had been her main activity for the past weeks. The more she slept the more she wanted to sleep. Maybe one day she would just stop waking up out of exhaustion.

As she rolled her eyes at how stupid she sounded, she walked down the long corridor leading to her room. Careful not to enrage the dark witch any more, she looked round every corner to make sure she was not in sight. The emotions from earlier had been enough for Hermione, she'd rather let the night pass before suffering another crisis with Bellatrix.

* * *

The moon was high up when the little witch heard a noise in the corridor. She lowered the book she had been reluctantly reading – _The Darkest Arts to Practice –_ and pricked up her ear. It was around three or four in the morning, Hermione had had troubles sleeping because of her nightmares, and she had thought coming in the living room to read by the fire would have been quieter and more comfortable to read. That was without counting on Bellatrix. The dark witch couldn't sleep either, and it was also due to nightmares. For some time now – especially since she was spending her days with the girl – she had started to have nightmares again, and she felt it came from the girl herself. Was she aware of it? Probably not, though the mind bond sometimes worked both ways, and Bellatrix felt the other witch trouble with her mind in her sleep. But because it was most likely involuntary, she didn't want to confront the young witch about it- it would give her ideas.

Not prepared to see the older woman at this time of night, Hermione jumped in surprise when Bellatrix walked in. _How come they always ran into each other?_ She cowered behind her book, trying to blend in the couch's leather. Bellatrix was in a nightgown, a very provocative, short, slightly sheer, and cleavage-showing nightgown. She walked barefoot with a hairbrush in one hand and her wand in the other, and only raised an eyebrow when she saw Hermione.

On her side of the couch, the young witch kept her eyes focused on the pages, words floating before her while she didn't understand anything she was reading. Maybe she should just leave and avoid any kind of trouble. Yet she remained motionless when Bellatrix stepped closer looking down on her. As she refused to take a glimpse at the standing woman before her, a heavy object suddenly collided with her side.

"Ouch! What-?"

Bellatrix had just thrown her brush at her, her usual smirk surprisingly absent.

"Brush my hair."

Taken aback, Hermione blinked a few times. Had the dark witch just asked her to brush her hair? _Truly_? As to emphasize her order, Bellatrix placed her wand on the table nearby, sat down beside Hermione and turned her back to her, presenting her tangled and humongous mane of black curls.

"Uhm... What-?"

"Brush my hair." Bellatrix hissed.

"I'm not your slave." Hermione scowled, grabbing the brush all the same; she knew not matter what she said, in the end she would have to do it.

"True, you're my house-elf. Now brush my hair before I curse you."

Hermione sighed and clenched her teeth. It was hard to admit, but the witch's hair fascinated her. It was wild, of the purest black, curled and long like a princess', so thick you couldn't see through it. It was indeed a dark queen's hair. From looking at it, it seemed soft yet a bit rough from the tiny ends pointing in every directions; but at the touch, it was smooth like velvet. She wished she could bury her face in those curls and smell their perfume.

"I'm waiting." Bellatrix said menacingly.

Hermione started to brush the tangled curls, enjoying the calm warmth washing over her as she did.

"You could have asked politely." She whispered.

Bellatrix sneered. "Would you have done it if I had?" She was definitely not buying it.

"Maybe." Hermione's hesitation surprised herself.

Both witch remained silent as Hermione kept brushing Bellatrix's hair, doing her best to be as careful as possible to avoid any rebuke. Why was she complying with this, again?

"Can I- ask you something?" Hermione dared to ask.

"Oh, Merlin, I should have stayed in my room." Bellatrix sighed annoyed.

"You can't, I'm brushing your hair." The teasing escaped her lips.

"Well I can do it myself!"

"Then do it!"

"Don't you dare stop, young girl." The threatening tone kept Hermione brushing. "Go on, ask me."

She resigned.

"Everybody thought the Lestrange Manor was destroyed at least a year ago, how come it is still there? I mean, the Aurors have obviously come to check the location."

"Let's say there were stupid enough to be fooled by a Disillusionment charm." She mocked.

"Then, nobody can see it?"

"Only those you know it is still there, which means only me, my sister and you." She straightened her back with pride. "So none of your friends will come and rescue you, girl- keep that in mind."

"I know." The compliance in her voice make Hermione shiver. Had she already given up on her freedom?

Bellatrix slowly started to relax to the young girl's touch. She had always loved brushing her hair, it calmed her; and having someone do it for her was even more pleasant. Since the day she had apparated to the manor with the girl, she had hated it, hated the idea of spending her days with her, of having to suffer her and to take care of her. Of course, Hermione's attempts at driving her mad was the worst for she wanted to kill her every time she saw her. But now she saw the girl seemed quite inclined to shut it and accept her fate, it made things easier to handle. At some point the brushing motion went shaking and she heard sniffing and sobbing behind her.

"Come on!" She sighed exasperated. "Thinking about that Weasel again?"

Hermione sniffed and rubbed her nose. The reality had struck her right in the chest- the realization that she was trapped forever with the dark witch and that no one would ever find there here.

"You can't have a normal conversation, without being cruel all the time, can you?" Hermione reproached between sobs.

"No, I can't because I love being cruel." Bellatrix replied quite sarcastically. It was not that she didn't believe what she said. But she had never actually considered having a 'normal' conversation with someone. What was the point?

"I'm going to bed." Hermione said sharply as she stood up, but Bellatrix got hold on her arm and pushed the young witch back down on the couch.

"No, you're not." She grunted with bared teeth.

"Why? I don't want to listen to your insults all the time."

"I don't care, that's how it works from now on for you!"

"Just let me rest and you'll shout at me tomorrow." Hermione attempted to stand up but was pushed down violently.

"I'm not your friends, I don't just get angry for a second and then let this go. You-obey-me!"

"I know! You keep reminding me that!"

"And you keep forgetting it!"

Hermione tried to free herself from the witch's grip but she nonchalantly threw her on the carpet at her feet. Hermione hissed in pain as she felt the wounds on her hip open up again.

Bellatrix pinched the bridge of her nose. "Can you stop making this a living hell? I'm not asking you much for Merlin's sake, just to obey and shut it!"

"We can't live like that! I won't sheepishly comply to your every desires forever and you know that. You are the one teasing me and pushing me on edge- I know you like it! So don't complain when I get mad."

"Of course I love driving you mad, because I'm bored and I need entertainment! And as a filthy mudblood, the only form of entertainment I have with you is by being cruel and watching you dance like the scum that you are."

It was an endless circle of insults. No matter the discussion they always ended up shouting at each other. Hermione wondered how the idea had crossed Bellatrix's mind, how she had thought even for a second that they would be capable of living together. Well of course, in her plans, she decided and Hermione obeyed which made everything easier. However, how could she have imagined that the young witch would not try to resist?

Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Can I go now?" She asked almost politely.

"No. Sit down, you'll go when I say it." Bellatrix threw her the brush and sat back in her initial position, her chin lifted.

Hermione eyed the witch and as she did so her eyes drifted to the side and fell on the crooked wand on the table. It was just there, not even five feet away; she just needed to distract Bellatrix. Just.

She knew she obviously couldn't disapparate in the house, and she didn't know if she would be able to exit the house anyway; Bellatrix could have protected the house in so many ways, there was a possibility only herself could unlock the doors. If she couldn't escape then, what use would she make of a wand? She could fight the witch, but she was so talented and experienced there was only a slight chance of survival. Hermione listed all the spells she knew in the hope that any of them could be useful. And suddenly she was reminded of the wedding at the burrow. When Kingsley's patronus had appeared and his voice had told them to run. Of course! That was her exit ticket- a patronus! Well, she had never really succeeded in making her patronus talk, she had only tried once with Harry in fifth year, and it could have gone better. But it was worth a try. What would she lose? Her sarcastic remark gave her goosebumps.

The brush held firmly in her hand, Hermione slowly approached the couch. She mentally tried to stop the shaking in her hands- with no results. The second before she hit the older woman, she realized how completely different it was to cast a spell at someone and actually hurt them physically; then you were striking the blow yourself. She held her breath when the brush violently collided with Bellatrix's skull- she had put all her strengths in this blow. And before she could regret anything, she jumped on the wand and hurried to the door.

"Bombarda!"

She didn't look back to know where her spell had crashed, running away with a heart beating tremendously fast- so fast she felt it slide up her throat at the sound of Bellatrix's cry. More than a cry of rage, it was accompanied by a genuine growl which made the entire house tremble on its base. Ignoring the sweat on her forehead Hermione turned and turned corners, climbed stairs and opened dozens of doors, magically sealing them behind her. She had to put as much distance as possible between them, and she felt deep in her guts that a simple _colloportus_ was not going to stop Bellatrix from getting to her. It was impossible to know where the dark witch was or if she was even running after her, for her roars never stopped; it seemed she was always right behind her.

Hermione stopped in a room, taking hold on the wall with heavy breathings and a troubled vision.

"Expecto patronum." She managed to utter. A silver blue otter flowed from the wand and danced around Hermione as she whispered indications. "Harry. Help me. Lestrange Manor. Danger." Every word was cut by a hoarse breathing.

She sent the otter away, focusing all her will on Harry in the hope it would find him.

"WHERE-ARE-YOU!"

Controlling herself, Hermione forced her shaking legs to move and started running again. There was going to be a moment when she would be trapped and she would just have to wait for Bellatrix to find her; right?

"YOU CANNOT RUN FOREVER!"

That, she could not.

* * *

At the Burrow, the light from the lamp was now far too bright for his tired eyes, and that's when he realized how late it was. Harry had been working for hours, he hadn't even stopped to eat dinner or kiss Ginny good night, and this routine had been going on for at least a week. He simply could not allow himself to sleep until he had finished working, which was impossible and he knew it perfectly; he was just pretended to ignore it. Working. It was not work he was doing- it was pure torture. Imagining all the places Hermione could be, with whom she could be, how she was treated, if she was even alive; Harry went through all these interrogations every single night after a long day spent with the Aurors, searching every place they could to find Death Eaters and eventually Hermione.

Harry felt something break in his heart as he recalled that the last memory he had of Hermione was at Shell Cottage, broken and hurt after Bellatrix's torture. That was also one of Harry's main goal: capture Bellatrix. If there was no one to stop him, he knew he would take great pleasure in torturing her to avenge Ron, Hermione, Sirius, Dobby and everyone else she had hurt or killed. But of course there was the Ministry. They wanted her alive, to either lock her in Azkaban or give her the Dementor's kiss, depending on- well, on what they would judge the worst torture for her.

Harry moved aside a few papers, throwing away a list of places they had searched with no success, and focused on the list of the remaining Death Eaters. What if Hermione was with one of them? Well, Greyback was dead, which was a small relief- but a relief nonetheless. Was she safer with a Death Eater or lost on her own, possibly without a wand? It was too late to ask such questions, the answer was most likely going to be irrational. Maybe if-

" _Harry_ "

The young Auror looked up, expecting to find Ginny in the room. But there was no one. Probably it was only his imagination. After all-

" _Harry!_ "

The voice was faint but yet louder, more urgent. Harry knew this voice, he had not heard it for months, but he would have recognised Hermione's voice anywhere.

" _Help me._ "

As the voice echoed once more and Harry stood up with his wand rose, a silver string appeared in the room. It took the shape of an otter, floating quickly around Harry.

" _Help me. Lestrange Manor. Danger._ "

Hermione. Harry did not think twice, grabbed his coat and rushed outside, sending his own patronus to the other Aurors. If Hermione was in Lestrange Manor, then she had to be with Bellatrix. This meant he had no time to lose. Not a second. It was all it could take for Bellatrix to kill.

* * *

Harry was even more disturbed than he had been before when they apparated in front of the Lestrange Manor. Because he found exactly what he had expected. Ruins. Had this whole thing been a trap? The only explanation was that a Disillusionment charm had been cast over the house. How could they have been so stupid as to not think about this! They had checked the house after the Battle of Hogwarts, guessing it was one of the places, with Malfoy Manor, where they were most likely to find Death Eaters. Harry had been so nervous, so angry and worried that he had not be willing to pay a lot of attention to the place, assuming it was only ruins. Only now he realized his mistake.

"Do you know who is in there?" Kingsley asked Harry, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the Manor through the night.

Harry shook his head. Oh, he knew, he was certain about who they'd find inside- but he didn't feel like sharing it. Perhaps he thought the others would be reluctant to go in if they knew what awaited them there.

"Specialis revelio."

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Suddenly, the ruins started to change. The stones piled up again to build the Manor's walls, tiles appeared on top, and the windows' soon reflected the night sky.

"Homenum revelio." Harry whispered, his jaw clenched in anger. He could not believe that Lestrange Manor was genuinely standing right before his eyes.

The situation reminded Harry of the night he had arrived at Grimmauld Place with Ron and Hermione, after they had just fled for the wedding. He dreaded the spell would have the same effect, that no one would be revealed. Because his fear behind that was that he had taken too much time to come and that Hermione was already gone with whomever was with her. He held his breath and waited, as nothing was happening. Harry was about to give up and leave when a faint light appeared behind one of the windows. Followed by another one beside it.

"They're here." Harry whispered hopefully.

No other light came out.

* * *

Bellatrix lowered her wand and let herself fall on the sofa. Hermione was sitting on the floor, ignoring the dark witch's stare. The girl had told her about the patronus, but Bellatrix had thought she had more time before the Aurors would arrive. She had felt the familiar feeling of the human revealing spell cast on the house, and guessed right away that the Aurors were out there. She could not run away without facing them, for she had to go outside to apparate. Perhaps she had been wrong on this. Perhaps her tendency to look out for troubles – because she always won the fights – had tricked her this time. She didn't really know what she was supposed to do now. Every habits she had told her to fight and tease, to show off as she always had. But there was a slightly more rational part of her mind which told her it was not the time and place anymore to show off, that she couldn't afford to risk her life, because she was utterly alone on this. No one would be there to save her if she was to be in danger – of course, she was convinced she would never be! She could only count on herself.

"They are here for you." Bellatrix growled when Hermione's eyes brightened with hope. "I won't let them take you."

They were in a large drawing room on the ground floor. Moonlight shone through the curtains, falling on the marble floor and illuminating the whole room. They simply waited. Hermione had though Bellatrix was going to torture her to the limit of consciousness, she had been so afraid when the dark witch had brought her down here. But she had done nothing. She had simply asked what Hermione had done, and after that she had paced the room again and again. Her burning desire to punish the girl had been strong indeed, but for the first time in a long, long time, she felt it was not going to satisfy her. Never had she encountered such a feeling of emptiness where what she loved most could not fulfil her. Had she grown weak? Every plan of escape had flowed through her mind- especially the locations she would leave to. There was nowhere safe to go.

In the entry hall, the Aurors burst in, wand raised and ready to fight. The witches heard them. And as Hermione backed away in fear, Bellatrix pulled her up and held her close.

"Keep quiet and I'll avoid blood to be spilled." The oldest warned in a whisper.

The words echoed in both women's brain. Footsteps resonated closer, and soon the group of Aurors stood in the doorway in an offensive position. As it happened, Hermione was far too focused on the intruders to notice Bellatrix clenching her jaw before regaining her usual mocking smirk.

"Well, I almost waited." She teased.

"Let her go." Harry rose his wand higher. His eyes were dark, filled with anger and hatred.

"Why- we're having so much fun together! Aren't we, mudblood?"

Hermione remained silent. Her pleading eyes were stuck on her best friend. She couldn't remember when was the last time she had seen him or even what he had looked like. The sound of his voice sounded like an old memory.

"You are to be arrested and brought to Azkaban, where you will remain for the rest of your life." Kingsley had stepped forward, perhaps trying to relieve the tension.

"Oh, no trial for poor me?" Bellatrix pouted, buying time to make up a plan. "Don't you forget justice? What are the charges?"

"You know exactly what they are!" Harry pushed an Auror's hand away and took a step menacingly. "You killed innocent children, muggle-borns, Aurors, your own cousin and Ron! You tortured and killed more people than anyone else, and you deserve to rot in a cell for eternity."

"That's a very flattering portrait you make of me, Potter, but-"

"Crucio!"

But Bellatrix had seen that coming. Before Harry could realize his mistake, Bellatrix pulled Hermione in front of her as a shield, and the young witch soon fell to her knees in agony.

"You really meant that one, Potter!" Bellatrix laughed, still holding the girl's arm, as the young Auror released the spell in horror.

"Hermione!"

"Now move away. You let me leave and I won't hurt her."

"You're not taking her away!"

The Aurors were blocking the way completely, Bellatrix had to fight. She really did not want to.

"Avada kedavra!"

"No!" Hermione cried.

But the spell hit the wall. It would have hit Kingsley, had he not moved aside quickly.

"Stupefy!"

The Aurors' spells were countered by Bellatrix who only slightly flinched.

"Couch, now!" Bellatrix pushed Hermione behind the said sofa and jumped after her, continuously casting spells. "Don't try to run away now," she aggressively caught Hermione's wrist, "I got you."

Bright lights crossed the room, paintings and furniture exploding all around them.

"We have to get out of here." She had no plan anymore, no idea how they were going to pass through the Aurors' defence without being cursed.

"They are too many, you won't win this time." Hermione hissed as she attempted to loosen the witch's grip on her wrist.

"Shut up you."

"Avada kedavra!"

Bellatrix peered over the sofa, surprised that an Auror would cast an Unforgivable. But it had not been an Auror. Joining the fight, a dozen of Death Eaters had entered the Manor.

"Merlin, that was not planned at all." How was she supposed to fight one against twenty? Especially considering Death Eaters couldn't care less about Hermione's life.

"You see the door there?" Bellatrix pointed to an open door in a corner, not too far from where they were hiding. "When I say it, we run to it."

If Hermione would have hesitated to obey a minute before, the sight of Death Eaters in the same room had convinced her she had to follow Bellatrix. She had the wand.

"Now!"

The two witches jumped from behind the sofa and ran to the door, Bellatrix casting spells in her back and hoping she had at least hit a few enemies.

"FIND HER!"

The girls ran along the corridors, turning left and right and trying to lose their pursuers.

"There!"

A spell crushed only an inch away from Bellatrix's head. She knew where they could hide, even for only a few minutes; to make up a plan of escape. They turned left once more, but this time Bellatrix pulled Hermione with her through a hole in the wall, and then waved her wand and seemed to close a sort of door.

The space was small, dark and dusty; it was a miracle they could breathe without choking to death. Before Hermione could say anything, her mouth was covered by Bellatrix's hand and her back was pressed against the witch's chest.

"Don't make a sound. They'll kill us both."

Hermione could feel the woman's heart beat frantically against her skin, and she wondered if it was due to fear or simply adrenaline. She would have known it was fear if she'd seen the woman's eyes. She was terrified. Her own kind had turned against her, she had felt it the moment she had left the battle at Hogwarts. She liked to flatter herself by thinking they were jealous of her, but really she knew they wanted to make her suffer just like she had made them suffer all those years. Because being polite or respectful to her allies was not in her ways either.

The sudden proximity between the two women was weird, uncomfortable and Hermione wished it to end as soon as possible. She was used to feel pain whenever she was close to the dark witch, it was almost a physical reaction- she wanted nothing more but to be as far from her as the enclosed space allowed her to be.

"Do you think _I_ like it?" Bellatrix hissed, pulling the young girl a few inches away from her chest.

They could hear sounds of fighting from the drawing room, explosions and cries of pain. The Death Eaters following them were gone, but Bellatrix preferred to wait a few minutes; to avoid running into them.

"Mmm?"

"Sorry, didn't catch that." Bellatrix hissed, pricking up her ears.

Hermione pushed away Bellatrix's surprisingly weak pressure on her mouth. "Where are we? We're not going to stay here forever!"

"It's a secret room, there are several around the manor. If you want to go out and face the Death Eaters, go on. They won't be as generous to you as I am."

"Generous?" Hermione's voice went high, a sign of pure annoyance- Bellatrix shut her down.

"Not the time for that."

Bellatrix released Hermione and made the door disappear. The battle sounds immediately became louder and Bellatrix peered in the corridor to make sure there was no one around.

"Come on." Hermione was pulled out of the room and pushed along Bellatrix.

"Where are you going?"

"We're leaving this place, idiot!"

The two witches ran in the direction of the front door, looking around every corner for enemies. Several times Hermione wished to scream for Harry to find her and save her; but everytime she heard the dark witch's frightened voice in her head-"They'll kill us both." She couldn't risk to attract a Death Eater. It was hard to admit, but she was safer obeying to Bellatrix than trying to outsmart her.

When they finally reached the entrance hall, they remained in the dark at the sight of two Death Eaters guarding the door. However it would not be too hard to get rid of them. Bellatrix had to make sure everything was going to go as plan, that the girl would not fall or get hit by a spell, so that they could escape just fine. The dark witch turned to face a frightened Hermione.

"The plan is: I blast the door, we run outside. Try not to be cursed." Hermione nodded reluctantly. "And don't do anything stupid and reckless." She warned her.

After a few seconds of wondering if, at this point, dying wasn't a better options, Hermione heard the explosion of the door and the cries of the men, followed by hurried footsteps towards the door. She quickly ran after Bellatrix, her wrist caught in her hand, but could not refrain herself from turning to the drawing room. Harry was there, just in front of her. She could not resist.

"HARRY!"

As the young Auror looked at her, a Death Eater pointed his wand at the girls and cast his curse. Everything seemed to happen so quickly. The second before she had been running through a shattered doorway, the next she was lying on the hard gravel outside the manor.

"Idiot! Come on!" Bellatrix grabbed Hermione and ran to the gates, looking behind her back every two seconds.

"HERMIONE!"

Harry made his way through the wall the Death Eater had just blown up and ran after the girls. He would not forgive himself if he let Hermione behind once more. Bellatrix was so close to the gates, only a few meters and she would be able to disapparate. For a second he almost cast the killing curse. For the first time in his life, he had been on the verge of doing it. But the risk of hitting Hermione was so high.

Bellatrix's foot crossed the invisible border of the anti-apparition charm. They disapparated. When Harry reached the gates and clenched his fist so hard that he cut the skin of his palm, he knew the chance of ever seeing Hermione alive was very, very weak.

* * *

The witches landed in a forest, one that Bellatrix knew somehow, one that was far from anything and anyone she knew.

"Where are we?" Hermione coughed, trying to breathe deeply.

Bellatrix did not answer. Instead, she reached out into her pocket, tossed the content on the ground; after a wave of her wand, a tent appeared in front of Hermione's bewildered eyes.

"Undetectable extension charm..." She breathed in amazement.

Of course Bellatrix knew about this. Well, first because she was an accomplished witch, but also because she had seen Hermione's bag at Malfoy Manor. She had been complied to admit it was indeed a clever idea.

Looking around, the forest was thick and dark, but on one side open on a huge lake, of which one could not see the other side. The first light of day was peering through the thinnest trees, and the sound of birds singing was heard not far from there. Being in the outside, in the middle of nature, it was what Hermione had missed the most. She had been locked inside for months, barely seeing light of day. Now she could finally feel the wind on her rough skin.

"I'm going to sleep, don't be a pain and keep quiet." Bellatrix barely looked at the young witch as she spoke and headed to the tent. "We're staying today, then we're leaving."

"To go where?" Hermione inquired. Of course, Bellatrix did not answer.

Hermione absently looked at the older witch going away when she noticed a dark liquid flowing down her leg and dripping in the dirt.

"You're wounded." She stated with a hint of worry that Bellatrix did caught.

For all she knew, she didn't care that Bellatrix was hurt, she didn't care for her. Somehow, witnessing her being hurt was a reminder that the witch was not immortal, nor invincible, and that if she happened to be killed, Hermione would be alone and lost, with no way of being found. It was hard to take in- that neither could live without the other.

"What do you care." Bellatrix spat out and rushed inside, hiding her dizziness from the important loss of blood.

Never would she show weakness in front of the girl. Never.

* * *

Also, do you ever happen to read some parts of what you ahve written, and think "Did _I_ write that?" Because it happens to me a lot, and I'm sometimes ashamed, and I can't believe I have actually wrote what I'm reading X)

I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story.


	15. It Struck Me

It's been a while, I feel so bad! College is trying to kill me from exhaustion, and I actually went through what Hermione is going through in that chapter, suprisingly enough because I wrote it before it even happened to me... Anyway I know it's not much _at all_ but I prefer to give you this now and continue working on the next chapter. Because I was not well as I worked on this chapter, I truly don't know what to think about it, I might go back to it later.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all this wonderful HP world belongs to JK Rowling.

* * *

CHAPTER 15: It Struck Me

Hermione had granted Bellatrix the whole morning to sleep. Now that the sun was at the zenith and that Hermione had seen everything that was to be seen around where they had settled, she was hungry and in desperate need of an occupation. As she stepped in the dark tent, she realized how big it was. Far bigger than the ones she'd been inside before. That was all Bellatrix, she thought, big and majestic. There were several areas separated by decorated curtains, a dining table for at least ten people, many sofas- she was even surprised not to find a fireplace at this point.

A faint light was emitted from candles floating over her head. Just like Hogwarts. Behind every curtains she found small rooms with a bed or two, a few spare sofas, and even shelves on which aligned books and small vials of potions. At least twenty people could live in this tent! As she stood in front of another curtain, she heard a low breathing sound from behind it, followed by the shifting of sheets.

"What are you doing here?" Bellatrix's sleepy voice was so unusual to hear, and in a way so incredibly ridiculous that Hermione almost choked. She coughed to hide her contained laugh.

"Just looking around." Hermione answered innocently.

In her bed, Bellatrix rolled around and buried her face in the pillow. Couldn't the girl leave her alone for just an hour?

"I said I wanted to sleep." She complained.

"I let you sleep for at least eight hours. It's not like I wanted to wake you up now. I barely made any noise."

"Fine! Fine..." Bellatrix rolled her eyes.

Despite her apparently long sleep, she still felt exhausted. Though she was mostly hungry. And aching. She had gone to sleep without healing her wound, the reason for it unknown to her. Had she come to care so few about herself that she didn't even bother to treat her wounds anymore? Or perhaps she had just been lazy. Whatever be the reason, she was paying the price now. The skin burnt and was torn open when she stood up. And immediately her side started to bleed.

"Great." She sighed.

Rubbing her eyes, she exited the room and headed to the shelves to get some essence of dittany; she had no idea what the wound looked like, but she hoped she would not have to actually use it.

"What are you doing?"

Hermione was looking though the books and did not even turn when Bellatrix questionned her.

"Looking for something to read. Why- I can't read?"

The sarcastic tone gave Bellatrix murderous tendencies, though she simply pushed the girl aside and searched among the vials. When she found the potion, she sat in the nearest sofa, unlaced her dress and shamelessly revealed her bare chest down to her stomach. Hermione blushed instantly and turned away.

"What are you-?"

"Don't get turned on, I'm healing my wound, that's all." Bellatrix growled, unnamused.

"I thought you had done that before, it must have infected." Hermione considered with too much worry for her taste.

"Spare me your lessons- ah, Merlin!"

Bellatrix stared at her side. It was not pretty. She had been pushed against the doorframe when a Death Eater had blew up the front door, and now she saw the damages: splinters of wood and pieces of metal stabbed her side, some buried quite deeply. It was all a mess, absolutely impossible to see how bad it really was- the amount of blood oozing from the ripped flesh should have been a clue, though Bellatrix was not in the right state to focus on this. The room was spinning, not much but still enough for her to feel sick.

"Oh my-!" Hermione had finally turned to her, discovering what a mess she was making on the sofa.

"Don't be stupid, that's nothing." Bellatrix waved dismissively.

This was not Hermione's opinion. Wondering why in heaven she was helping her, she approached the dark witch carefully and peered at the wound. She could swear that white spot was a bone.

"Oh god..." She tried not to faint as she knelt beside the witch. "How did you-?"

But Bellatrix wasn't listening. She had started to remove the splinters one by one, piling them up on the floor. There were so many of them, and some were more than 3 inches long! It was easily one of the worst wound she had ever suffered. Having half of her arm's skin ripped off was the number one.

"Wait! You're making it bleed even more!"

Bellatrix ignored the remark. She didn't care that she bled to death, she just wanted to get rid of those damn splinters stabbing her side! Her vision was blurred by the loss of blood; and the sane part of her brain meant to prevent her to kill herself? It was far away, lost under too much suffering. She didn't want to die, of course not! Simply now, her deranged brain couldn't make the link between her actions and the consequences. It was like an annoying though pushed away deep down because it was too painful to acknowledge; yes, that was it. Thats was the same way she had dealt with most things: by pushing away the bad consequences and focusing on what she enjoyed on the moment. Exactly like that day, in Malfoy Manor, where she had tortued the girl instead of calling Him. The consequence was that Potter had escaped- the thing is, she had known it was a risk. She knew she should have called Him right away to prevent anything from happening and ruining everything. But she had pushed the thought aside, enjoying the pleasure of torturing the girl.

"Give me the potion. Let me help you." Hermione's voice managed to take the witch out of her thoughts, though she refused to be helped.

"I can do it myself, get away!"

"No you can't, you're going to die if you continue!"

Hermione extended her arm to grab the potion but found a wand pointed at her.

"Step away." Her voice was hoarse and weak. "Now."

She had her chance, she could easily grab the wand and disapparate.

"I may not have all my head, but I have all my strenghts. If you try to take that wand, I won't miss."

Keeping eye contact with the witch, Hermione surprised her by taking hold of the potion instead.

"Let me do it." She sighed, like a mother would in front of her stubborn child.

"Give it back!"

"You're barely conscious."

"What a bitch you are!"

Bellatrix complained; but she had given up. She had lowered her wand and leant back in the sofa. She felt that her strenghts were leaving her; she guessed if she tried to stand she would fall limply on the floor, humiliating herself more than anything else. Hermione took all the time necessary to treat the wound, going slow and calm, trying her best to ignore the dark witch's cursing and kicking -which was rather weak, more like prods and ticklings.

"Why being so protective?" Bellatrix's eyes fell on Hermione who didn't notice, too focused on the wound. "Have you finally embraced the truth?" Her voice had taken sort of a masterly tone, emphasizing her words.

"I'm starting to think you have." the young witch whispered to herself- before Bellatrix could try to understand, she quickly added: "I can't let you die."

"Oh, you care?" She purred mockingly.

Instead of orally expressing her exasperation, Hermione poured slightly too much dittany on the wound, earning a cry of pain.

"Hey!"

Most of the skin was treated, now red and irritated. It would still require regular care- considering how careless Bellatrix was, Hermione was sure she would have to take care of it.

"You need a blood replenishing potion."

Bellatrix indicated the shelf lazily and Hermione came back with the potion.

"Why?" Bellatrix took hold of Hermione's wrist, but in a much more gentle manner than ever before. "What do you have in mind?"

"If you die, I die. That's as simple."

"No, you'll take my wand and run to your stupid friends."

"I'm sure if you knew you'd die, you would do everything to prevent me to do so."

"Clever girl." Bellatrix released her wrist with a mischievous smile.

* * *

 _Bellatrix held her close against her chest, protecting her from danger._

" _Why so protective?" The witch's voice echoed around her._

 _She could feel every beating of the woman's heart, feel her breath against her neck, feel her shaking hand keeping her quiet. Fear had taken over the both of them, a situation she had never thought was possible. Bellatrix being scared? She had always believed she feared nothing but Voldemort; not even death. It appeared she had been wrong._ She protected me. Has she not realized it?

" _If you die, I die."_

 _Bellatrix looked at her._

" _They'll kill us both." They were alone on this._

" _We have to stay together."_

" _You cannot run forever! You will always be mine!"_

* * *

Bellatrix looked at the time. Seven and a half. She was bored. She had slept a little, had tried to read- but nothing could chase away her dream. Or nightmare? It was troubling her- the fact that perhaps the girl willingly invaded her mind as she was doing with hers. What she saw when she slept was undoubtedly the girl's own thoughts, and she started to acknowledge that she couldn't control her nightmares as well as before. The power she had over the young witch had weakened; how long before the roles inverted?

Lying on her bed, in one of the room she had made hers, Hermione was lost in deep thoughts. She had also felt a change in the whole mind controlling process, though she could not put her finger on what exaclty it was. The dream she had just had troubled her. Worse, it was starting to rise panick in her mind. Why exactly- she couldn't say.

There she was, curled in a ball, staring blankly at her hands, leaving her thoughts drag her down. Something new had made its way inside her, had sneaked viciously through her lowered defences. Fatigue. Tiredness stronger than she had ever felt before. A mental exhaustion, complete weariness. The change had not been sudden and unexpected, it had been a slow process of losing hope and being broken constantly. What was harsh to take in, sudden and brutal, was the acknowledgment of this situation. Hermione had convinced herself everything would be fine and soon back to normal. She had failed to see herself fall deep down the hole; it was now that she touched the bottom that she realized it.

She didn't want to get up, didn't want to have to face Bellatrix, didn't want to see the proof that she was still there with her- she'd rather comply in denial because it was easier. There wasn't much to do, not much to think about or worry about if she remained in her bed and slept until she had no strengths to dream anymore.

Taking another bite in an apple, Bellatrix frowned at the taste. It was bitter, not sweet at all like the bite before. She sighed. The mind bond she had with the girl had always been strong, but affecting each other like this made it out of control. Everything was slipping away from her, as if she was not capable of handling things anymore. She could feel her sadness, her weakness, all of it as if it were her own. If nothing was done they'd both drown. Yet, she didn't want to care for the girl, to try to make her _happy_ , make her feel _safe_ ; that had never been in her plans. But she could not deny she had known it for a few days now- that the girl was slowly dying. Not physically, although it may have been easier to cure. No matter what happened, she always found a way to get into annoyingly difficult situations, and she always ended up regretting and getting angry about everything.

There was the opening of a curtain followed by the young witch heading to the bathroom, coming back with a towel and crossing the living room.

"That's mine." Bellatrix noted.

Hermione kept her eyes away as she strode across the room.

"You have to learn sharing things." She replied tonelessly. "Going out."

"Don't care."

Despite the fact that there was a bathroom in the tent, what Hermione truly needed was fresh air. The sun was low, brightening up the sky where pink clouds drifted by. Hermione breathed deeply. She could not recall the last time she had seen something of such a beauty as a sunset by a lake. The sun was descending right into the water, barely touching its surface. Taking off her shoes, Hermione put her things down on the grass and walked to the water, avoiding the sharp rocks pointing out from under the dirt. The water was freezing cold but it was pleasant; it was tickling her feet as she burried her toes in the dirt.

She remained still, enjoying the last rays of sunlight on her skin. She could have sworn she had felt a fish brush her ankle. When she started to shake from the cold, she retreated to dry land and knelt by the water, eagerly splashing her face in delight. It was harsh and cold but pleasant still, it had her more alert and awake. Before drying herself, she rolled up her sleeves to wash her arms quickly, wanting to get rid of the feeling of uncleanliness hovering on her skin. The water glided along her uneven skin. Her fingers brushed it slightly, making her shiver.

She could not say that she had forgotten the scars because she would never forget them. Though she had done everything she could to pretend they were not there. Living with Bellatrix was already harsh enough without having to care about this in addition. No matter what, there was no denying of the words carved into her skin for – most likely – forever, a constant reminder of who she was living with. When she saw the scars, she understood Bellatrix's attitude when she had been recklessly aggravating her wound by tearing out the splinters. In that moment, Hermione wanted nothing more than slice her skin and make those marks disappear forever, whatever be the cost. She needed them gone. Because waking up to see them there every single day would be the end of her.

* * *

"Where are we leaving tomorrow?"

Bellatrix glanced at the young witch just coming back from outside.

"We're not leaving anymore."

"We staying here? How long?" Hermione inquired worringly. She had lived long enough in the forest with her friends to know it was not an easy life.

"I don't know!" Bellatrix clicked her tongue in exasperation.

"Things are not going as planned, it seems." Hermione taunted in a low chuckle. It was not what on would call mockery- rather, amusement when facing such an uncanny situation.

"It would, if you had not been tricking me." Bellatrix retorted menacingly.

Ignoring her, Hermione headed to her room and closed he curtains behind her. She wished she could have more privacy than just a curtain separating her from the older woman.

"Hey!" Bellatrix's voice called her from the living room, before she actually burst into the room. "Don't you leave when I'm talking to you."

"I'm not up for a fight right now." Hermione sighed. The bed seemed suddenly very comfortable- if only she could hide in there forever.

"I don't care! Look at me." Bellatrix caught the girl's upper arm and turned her around to face her. "Have you already forgotten what I said? No disrespect."

"You know, you're being very touchy." Hermione retorted in an annoyed sigh.

The words were about to come out when Bellatrix stopped. Where she had been used to see anger, hatred and even fear in the young witch's eyes- there was nothing. At least nothing close to any expression she knew. At the sight of a speechless Bellatrix, Hermione looked up and found their eyes locked.

"You _have_ given up." The dark witch acknowledged with a grin.

Again, there was no response from Hermione, who currently was close to emotionless. Only exhaustion remained. She didn't want to fight- not when she knew she could not win.

"At least you won't be a pain in the arse anymore."

There were no remorses when Bellatrix's weight fell on the couch, nor when she picked up her book and ignored the sound of broken furniture in the nearby room. The remorses would come eventually, although too late to fix anything.

* * *

 _She found herself in a dark room with a tiny window bringing in a weak ray of moonlight. It was not any room. It was her own room, except it felt different; strange, foreign and somehow cold. She had the feeling that someone had broken in and went through every secret it was hiding. Something had invaded her intimacy and it lurked in her mind._

 _Although the space was quiet, she felt uncomfortable and pressured by the atmosphere in the room. There was indeed something creeping, similar as a monster hiding under a bed at night. It was hard to see through the heavy, sombre fog, hard to describe how she felt. Apart from saying she felt down- deep down and empty. It was a strange feeling to describe for it was complexe and unknown to her. They were affecting each other so much that she didn't even know at this point which emotions were hers and which were not. What hell had they trapped themselves into?_

 _Everywhere around her, voices shouted, whispered, ordered- hidden in the darkness where she could not see them. Faces danced before her, pale and spectral. The faces of whom she had seen die, those of people she cared about._

You cannot run away forever. You are doomed to this life of suffering. Nothing will ever be the same. Don't resist it.

" _What am I supposed to do?"_

 _The desperate echo was silenced again._ Embrace the darkness; let it consume you. Don't fight the impossible. Give in.

" _Give in- give in to what?"_

 _Her eyes crossed her reflection in a mirror; she looked awfuly pale. The life in her eyes was weak, and so was the beating of her heart. She started to shake as she searched for her pulse, finding none everywhere she touched. She was dying!_ Give in to your desire, or she will be the death of you.

 _Out of the darkness, an emaciated hand emerged and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her toward the dark hole that was its mouth, feeding on her fright and on everything she ever loved._

* * *

"NO! LET ME GO!"

Waking up ready to attack and drenched in sweat, Bellatrix grabbed her wand and burst into Hermione's room, following her screams.

"Granger!"

When she opened the curtains, she was ready to find a Death Eater, a Dementor, or anything else dangerous. Yet, there was nothing there. Only a terrified Hermione sat up on her bed looking around anxiously.

"What the hell?" She rolled her eyes in annoyance, lowering her wand.

"I- I felt there was someone, or something."

The young witch shook her head, lost in her thoughts.

"Well, next time you _feel_ something, feel it in silence." Bellatrix complained, yawning.

But Hermione kept talking as she was turning away. "It was a nightmare- it was so dark."

"That happens in a nightmare." Bellatrix sneered.

"She said not to fight." The dark witch stopped in her way. "That we had to give in."

"There is no _we_ here, young lady." Bellatrix spared her a mocking look. "And I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I think you do." Hermione accused boldly. "I saw you in the mirror, I know you put that nightmare in my head!"

"Excuse me?" Bellatrix retorted defensively. "I an not sure I fully understand what you mean." Her voice was menacingly low.

"You put those nightmares in my head to hurt me, I know it! You said it yourself!"

"Ok, I'm going to bed."

Bellatrix clenched her fists. She really didn't want to talk about those nightmares, because if she did it meant she had to admit she had them too- which was definitely not happening.

"No! I want to talk about that!" Hermione had crossed the safety line and was now standing in the very dangerous zone where unexpected and unpredicted reactions dominated. Still-

"Fine! We'll talk tomorrow, happy? And if I hear anything more from you, I kill you right now- no regrets. Understood?"

Hermione went back to sleep, though this time, when she woke up with a jolt, she heard nothing but her own voice. _Get rid of her._

* * *

 _I hope you liked this chapter, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions, every critics will be read and taken into consideration for the rest of the story._


End file.
